Mercury is retrograde at 13 degrees Sagittarius, very close to make a conjunction to my natal Uranus/Mars in the first house and a lot of the current theme for me has been connected with personal freedom and individuation.
I believe that Jupiter in the early degrees of Sagittarius is also echoing this message.
During this last period of Venus moving retrograde I have been questioning and feeling a strong urge to find more space within my relationship. (with the times when Venus opposed Uranus as a peak of realisation about this need)
Now what is strongly coming up to me is not only the need for personal freedom, but also lots of questions about our conditioning when it comes to relating with one another.
Last week we had a training course on life coaching and the group of people that came here for the training were amazing. I connected with many of them in such a beautiful way. The dynamic between the group reminded me of one of those conscious summer festivals that I used to go when Pluto was transiting my natal Moon.
It felt like home!
In the last night we did an angel walk together (basically walking in a corridor of people whispering beautiful messages into your ears) and had a very long group cuddle for at least an hour. My heart was so open and the love I felt was so strong that it felt like being high on drugs.
I was in such a powerful and beautiful state that even saying no and asserting myself became easy and loving as well. I felt empowered.
Since then, I’ve been thinking about the general conditioning of being supposed to love only one person, or being protective and caring only towards family members, etc. Why is that? Why can we not allow love to flow and increase itself by giving it freely?
Why are we not allowing love to ebb and flow organically?
I have read once that love is the only thing that does not work mathematically in the way we know, the more you give the more you have to give. You never run out of it. (talking about unconditional love here)
Then I thought that if my personal experience of transiting Pluto to my Moon is connected with my role in the collective change that we are going through, my new sense of security within is what will enable me to love more and to help breaking old patterns that do not foster growth in positive ways.
I would really like to find new ways of relating, with more authenticity and the willingness to be vulnerable and communicate openly.
Speaking for myself, I had years when I felt a need to hold onto as much freedom as I could. I wouldn’t commit to one partner or to sticking around for any period of time. But what I eventually found was that when I committed fully to one person, I gained immense freedom. I could be much more honest with my partner and myself than I had ever known I could. I could take risks I never had, because I felt the safety and confidence of knowing that there was one person who would never desert me. It might not work for everyone, but that was how things went for me.
Yes, I think that the line of separation between freedom and commitment is very fine indeed. I guess that developing consciousness and realising the most empowering way that we cantering those two in balance is a potential way out? 🙂 <3