Jupiter (etc) on the IC

by with No Comment Astrological InsightsAstrology and meInner lifeProfessional AstrologerSearch for home

Today there was no thunderstorm.

Instead, just a gentle rain, one of those still somehow illuminated by the sun, some kind of rainbow weather.

As I watched it through my window, eating a piece of freshly cut watermelon I felt a warmth in my chest and smiled thinking to myself: ‘I’m in Brazil’

‘I am Brazil’ or ‘Brazil is me’, probably both.

With Jupiter conjoining my IC in Aquarius to the degree right now, I strangely feel a sense of belonging.

The last full moon was activating my MC-IC and a huge release of emotions happened to me, I had to begin letting go of the UK and the last (almost) 13 years of my life. Another chapter is beginning to unfold, and the pandemic and collective general chaos is affecting my options and the choices I have to make.

In the last few years I went through a Pluto hard transit to my natal Moon and a conscious quest for home sort of began, in the process I went through a lot of purging, moving around and challenging myself, perhaps all in order to discover a new sense of security within. But now it seems that I am closer to having an actual home to put my roots down a little deeper this time.

I am aware that the effects of a Jupiter transit lasts a lot less in comparison to the outer planets’, and for this reason it somehow reflects opportunities that are somewhat more fleeting. Saturn will then make its way backwards and forwards over my IC while Uranus squares it. I know that I need to change how I present myself into the world and I also feel that in order for that to happen I need some solid ground. I need to have a secure space to do my work from.

The amazing thing is, the more I listen to the voices coming from the depths of my IC the more I seem to be thriving in my work. Many people are seeking my services lately, with a few different talks lined up, including a short course I designed introducing Synastry, I am beautifully busy. There is also my masters’ thesis which I am just about to start. My professional dreams seem to be slowly coming true and I’m loving it.

My mind is sharp at the moment.

But for now, I silently eat my watermelons gazing out the window…watching the water nurture my surroundings.

Creative quarantine

by with 2 Comments Astrological Insights

Life is turned upside down.

Suddenly it seems like the North Node in Cancer became the rule in our daily routines and the multiple campaigns talking about the importance of staying home now are just a reminder.

Funny to think that for things to get better and to move forward again it is required that we stay still at home. (It would have been pretty hard to imagine that sometime ago!)

The challenge is set.

We are all pretty much thrown back at ourselves and any personal work that hasn’t been done is coming back to catch up with us. Any anxiety or unhappiness that was lurking under the surface is now shouting at our face full blast.

I was listening to a very insightful podcast published by the Astrology University with Lynn Bell and Laurence Hillman, where they were talking about this moment as an invitation to descent. If we graciously accept the invitation or not isn’t the point, as we are taking a trip into the underworld regardless our willingness to do so.

So what would be the best thing to do right now?

I think that being conscious of this transitional moment can be really helpful. Knowing that this is a time for digging deeper within, and at the same time, for doing the things we love the most in order to keep our psychological balance and well being.

Be kind to yourself. Nurture yourself. Keep it simple.

This crisis is pointing out to what does not work in our society anymore, and in our personal lives as well. It’s like a collective and individual big purging happening simultaneously. Best to be present with it.

Sending you all much love and calm energy to deal with whatever it is that we have to now.

 

Pluto-Moon transit update and roots

by with No Comment Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

In less than a month I will be heading back to the UK after almost 6 months living in Brazil. I have mixed feelings and think about how much the decision of living outside your home country changes things for good.

Where then is home?

For many years I rejected Brazil as my place of origin and adopted the foreigner identity, but now this seems to be changing again. I don’t feel completely Brazilian in a cliche sort of way, but I also don’t feel ‘not Brazilian’ anymore either.

These feelings made me think about writing a sort of update on my long lasting/ongoing Pluto-Moon transit.

For the last 5 years much has happened in connection to transiting Pluto forming a square to my natal Moon.

(if you’re curious about this whole process just click on the tag ‘Pluto Square Moon’)

I now find myself a lot more balanced and emotionally honest, giving more space for healthier emotional bonds in my life, and the list really goes on. Feeling more secure within myself, more solid, living what seems to be a more authentic life, more courageous in lots of different levels, with a transformed relationship with my mother but also the inner mother has changed a lot… (the list really goes on…) but…

I still find myself without a home.

Since I moved out from London in early 2015 I’ve travelled a lot and experimented a lot. I’ve developed myself through moving around, also through gathering the courage and guts to move on my own. I lived in Bristol, in Thailand for 3 months, I hitchhiked for 3 months, I’ve worked on summer festivals by myself, I moved to a community in the Forest of Dean for a year and a half, I came back to sense myself in Brazil for 6 months… I’ve put down roots just to shortly pull them up again.

I think I did a lot. (A lot of moving around, definitely)

Now, as I stare into my temporary keyring which is once more with multiple sets of keys (one for my mom’s, one for my friend’s where I currently live, and one from the guy I’ve been dating)  I wonder how long it will take until I’m able to have a home that’s not so much temporary…

How long until I can put down roots which will grow a little further than usual?

I am looking into buying a flat in Sao Paulo with my father and my intuition says that perhaps my 12 year chapter in England is coming to an end…

At the moment transiting Pluto is forming a trine/sextile to my ASC-DSC axis and trine to my natal Venus, but it will eventually conjunct my IC in Aquarius. And I wonder what will be the condition of my roots by then…

I also find interesting the fact that my Progressed Moon is in Aquarius, the sign of my IC, and in 6 months it will be crossing over it and into my 4th house, exactly when Im thinking about coming back to Brazil to spend another 6 months, but by then, possibly with a flat of my own.

Housing crisis

by with 4 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

I have a few minutes for catching up with processes that are happening here.

Some posts back I talked about my progressed moon moving to Aquarius, the same sign on my IC, and the continuation of my journey in search for home, but this time,  reconnecting with my Brazilian roots.

During the New Moon in Sagittarius I moved to a friend’s house here in Sao Paulo so now Im living most of the week with her and couple of days with my parents. I was just packing some of my stuff to go back from her place to my mother’s where I will see a client later today for an astrology session.

As I was packing my things I thought about the amount of traveling and moving around that I have been doing since 2015 when Pluto did the first exact square to my natal Moon. At that time things were so emotionally intense that travelling from place to place gave me some sort of solace from all the intensity that was coming up to me.

This time is different, I am more balanced and less haunted by the emotional detox reflected by the Pluto Moon stuff, but I do notice myself feeling a little tired of all of the moving around (at least today?).

Yesterday night I was asking myself where is home?  I get bored indeed and have been consistently moving houses, jobs, cities, etc, but I wonder, is there a time when I am going to be able to settle down a bit more? Will I ever have a home of my own?

I am used to temporary situations, I am used to being quite mutable and taking one day at the time and building a momentary home with whatever I have available, but I am wondering more and more (perhaps the progressed Moon/IC thing) when is this going to end… if ever? Will I have a bit more stability regarding housing?

I have no answer to these questions yet, but it was a great relief to move out from my parents (again) and spend a few solid days on my own. As we grow older it becomes clearer how much space we need for ourselves, to do our own cooking, to decide how to get on with our day without being judged…

These last few days reflected how important for me is to be regularly alone, how necessary is to withdraw from activities and outside stimuli so I can process my feelings and understand what is going on with me. It has been 2 months since I arrived in Brazil and I did not have quality time on my own to feel my feelings, to catch up with myself properly.

I say no to this world populated by extroverted people constantly achieving and doing things out there. I want to achieve and do things in here. Inside me.

 

The dark side of the Moon

by with 2 Comments Astrology and me

This is another one about or based on astrology’s fluidity.

I’ve been tracking my progressed moon since 2012, when I started officially studying astrology at the LSA. I wanted to check and see for myself how each shift from houses or signs would be reflected in my life.

Recently my progressed moon has moved from Capricorn into Aquarius, forming a square to my natal Pluto in Scorpio. I went from to do lists and working full time plus studying, (basically from being ultra busy), to freeing myself and spending a lot of time with an aquarian friend who also happens to have his natal moon conjunct Pluto.

Interestingly, with the progressed moon making that square to my natal Pluto I’ve observed how entertainment has been taking a darker tone for me… I have been reading ‘The dark of the soul’ written by Liz Greene on psychopathology in the horoscope and I just finished watching a tv series called ‘The Act’ with Patricia Arquette.

The series is based on real facts about this girl who was raised by a mother who suffered from ‘Munchausen syndrome by proxy’, also known as ‘Factitious disorder imposed on another’, according to wikipedia a ‘condition where a caregiver creates the appearance of health problems in another person, typically their child’ in order to get attention and sympathy from others.

The girl was confined to a wheel chair and basically forced to pretend that she had a whole myriad of health issues that she did not have. And as she starts growing up, wanting to get a boyfriend and look beautiful etc, problems start arising between her and her super, over the top, protective mother and the girl end up finding a way to assassinate her and break free.

This is such a crazy story, in so many levels, and in my opinion reflective of an extreme manifestation of Moon-Pluto contacts in astrology. I have tried finding their astrological charts to look into the symbolism and compare to the story, but it has proven to be quite difficult with unreliable birthdates etc.

Myth seems to mix up with reality rather often, but this is a case where the devouring mother mythic theme is overwhelmingly powerful.

Liz Greene talks about the conflict between the rational ego and the ‘instinctual energies of the unconscious’ saying that: ‘particular individuals are like safety valves for the pressure that builds up. They are the scapegoats and vessels for what is, in effect, a collective madness.’

I wonder if that is what happened in that story, or if at least there was an element of that.

The importance of developing a strong and healthy ego, capable of mediating unconscious material that seems to well up into consciousness is paramount in the process of becoming an individual. And according to Greene, with more individuals comprising society the less likely that there will be a collective psychosis breaking out like in nazi Germany for example.

This is a very interesting idea, and timely for the current weird political climate. By developing healthy individuality we can contribute with less collective madness.

 

 

Reflections on life’s changes…

by with 16 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

I am getting ready to move out from where I’ve been living for the past year and a half.

Writing down organisational lists, to do lists, to let go lists, getting very organised, after all, is Virgo season!

I don’t feel devastated or fearful.

Having a Pluto transit to the natal Moon works as a kind of painful initiation. The transit is still within orb for me, and I guess all this moving around in the last 4 years is a reflection of it.

This moving out is also marking the end of a relationship that began when Pluto was forming the 3rd exact square to my natal Moon.  I have learned a lot and there are not many regrets, I try to look forward to my next steps.

I actually catch myself feeling excited about these changes as I think that my life was somehow stuck in a rut. My job as a chef and volunteer’s coordinator in the community wasn’t doing anymore for a long time. Working full time in something that isn’t my true passion is very difficult for me. Well… I think that working full time is difficult for me in most circumstances, if we consider full time hours as 40 hours per week.

That is crazy!! I mean, what about time for yourself, for organising your life, or taking care of our basic needs for food and personal hygiene etc, plus our needs for novelty and creative endeavours, plus our need to stimulate our intellect… Jesus, working 40 hours a week makes quite impossible to do all of that in a well balanced manner.

I cannot do that.

I believe, selfishly or not, that the belief that we have to be constantly productive and working is a fallacy. I probably have written about this here many times in different ways, but I cannot stress this idea enough. We need time to wonder, to just be. That is not laziness, is rather a necessity for our mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Screw the full time hours system!

Thats the thing, I feel so excited and happy and relieved that I am free again to think about whatever I want to think about, that the sadness of leaving or breaking up isn’t making such a huge impact on me at the moment. I think I have grieved quite intensely during the new moon eclipse in July so I feel ready to move on again.

As tiresome, hard work and uncomfortable as moving out and changes in general can be, I love and need them rather often… or so it seems. Or is that the Pluto transit still in orb with my Moon?

The fact is, and here is a Uranus/Mars conjunct in Sag in the first house speaking, I thrive in change and it seems to me such a delusional idea that one day there will be a plateau of peace and contentment in life capable of leaving changes and disruptions at bay. And as human beings I think that we somehow gravitate towards this idea of placidity and total fulfillment in a somewhat unchangeable situation. No…

The only constant is change.

We are a process, a life process, constantly changing and expanding, and there is nothing we can do about that other than aligning ourselves as best as we can and dance to the music… life will throw different rhythms at different times, and astrologically we can associate that to planetary transits, and somehow there is less suffering in surrendering to these rhythms.

Cheers to life!

Continual shifts and changes

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeProfessional Astrologer

I just sent an article in Portuguese for a Brazilian blog/website and it was a little challenging to write in my mother thong can you believe it? I think that because I’ve been working pretty hard on writing my assignments for the MA, and also because I’ve been living abroad for almost 12 years as well I suppose… I feel that somehow, at the moment, is easier for me to write more beautifully in English. The words and its combinations come out more easily, I don’t know.

I got the results from my last module and have done pretty well again. Sometimes is hard to believe in your own abilities. The director of my course, Nicholas Campion, sent me an email yesterday regarding some university bureaucracy and mentioned that after two excellent marks he hopes that I will continue doing the course. That was really nice and encouraging as I feel that my sense of self and personal potential gets a bit blurred somehow.

Im also currently writing an article about Saturn in general plus a bit about what happened during my Saturn Return for an online magazine. What an interesting symbol, Im beginning to really love Saturn and its potential for pondered growth, discipline and maturity.  I think that, to my surprise, I am pretty saturnian myself.

Anyway, this blog post was intended to be more about the changes that are happening soon in my life though.

I have given the notice at my job in the community as I realised that I can’t dedicate so much of my time to something that I don’t really want to do it anymore. I want to have more time for my masters and also astrology work, which has never stopped completely but I have been pushing it to the side a bit because Im so busy with other things.

As I was brainstorming about what to do next, Brazil just spontaneously came to my mind, and I decided to go to Brazil at the end of September probably for a longer period than usual. And then I realised that my progressed moon will be shifting to Aquarius in September and my natal IC is in Aquarius. How wonderful symbolism is that? For the first time in almost 12 years I genuinely feel the urge to explore and see with my own eyes, rather than my mother’s, where I come from. I feel that somehow I need to reconnect with that land through like minded people rather than my past only.

It will be interesting going back after Pluto transited my natal Moon and so much transformation and personal work has taken place within myself.

Excited to see what will happen…

Saturnian growth pos Plutonic apocalypse…

by with 2 Comments Astrological InsightsAstrology and meSearch for home

Saturn is transiting around 14 degrees Capricorn and just about to form the first of 3 or 4 exact squares to my natal Moon in Libra. I can feel this transit reflecting couple of different processes within myself.

On one hand I felt the urge to communicate my need to cut down my hours at my current job as a chef so I can dedicate more of my time to what I believe is my call and vocation: astrology.  Saturn is currently transiting my second house so material issues and my values in general have been taken under consideration before I made this decision.

Interestingly, people have been in touch with me inquiring about my services, and when I was travelling in Brazil earlier this month, I had about 6 clients (plus 3 that I did not have time to see before coming back to the UK), which in a way is telling me to get back on track and follow my bliss!

(I also did a successful talk for the Psychedelic Society in Bristol at the end of November last year in which a scholar from Bristol University was present, and later on he contacted me saying how much he appreciated my talk and invited me to participate of one of his projects about paganism and well being!)

Last week I also started to go to the gym, for the first time in my life, and Im actually really enjoying it! I feel so good after exercising (I used to cycle regularly when I lived in London but not anymore since I’ve moved to the forest) that I don’t really need to eat all the sugar and comfort food that I needed in order to make me happier. It’s interesting that just the act of exercising more seems to naturally make you want to choose healthier foods. This is also a lunar theme, the daily routine and diet, which seems to be going under transformation at the moment.

Saturn in Capricorn reflects the gift of discipline and the potential to develop will power. Im doing my best to take this moment as an opportunity to strengthen and bring myself closer to the kind of life that I want to live rather than wait for people to change or opportunities to be given.

I believe this is a DIY time!

Another theme connected with the Moon in Libra is love relationships.

Me and my partner have been living together for a few months and Im realising more and more that this relationship isn’t fulfilling my needs (Moon again) and that I have been oblivious to this fact for quite some time. The feeling that I’ve been having lately is strongly motivating me to fill up the gaps myself and to move out eventually (when is the right time I suppose, I don’t really want to rush anything under a Saturn transit…).

I am not sure how this process is going to unfold, but Im feeling a strong urge not only to be self contained but also to be self motivated enough to create my own happiness instead of expecting someone else to change.

I feel like I have done my homework when Pluto was transiting my Moon and a lot of the challenges that came up were met head on. Many of my “libran” fears connected with relationships, including the fear of being alone (fear of doing things on my own, like travelling or moving houses, etc), was addressed in the last 5 or 6 years and I feel so much stronger now.

I feel that I can do anything by myself! Hah!

We shall see how things unfold, with new awareness and my commitment to the process of individuation and growth, and I hope that all of you out there are making the most of the energies available for your individuation and growth as well.

An Astrologer’s wishes for 2019

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

The heat in Brazil is so strong that for most of the day I cannot do much. Sometimes it feels like my brain is melting.

For the last five or six years I consciously went through a Pluto transit to my natal Moon and this is the first time that I came back since. Everything looks and feels strange and familiar at the same time.

That strange familiar feeling of not belonging strongly remains.

I miss my home in England.

I am enjoying some things here, but after couple of weeks its clear to me that many of the structures, customs, opinions, ideas, ideals, cultural identity… have all changed to me? Sao Paulo somehow feels largely small?

Since 2012 I went through multiple transits, I’ve had my first Saturn return and transits from all 3 outer planets to my personal planets. I’ve been dissolved, dismembered and initiated into adulthood. Much pain and suffering was met on the way, but looking at myself in the mirror I can see that it was worth it.

I believe that if we don’t adapt to the seasons we can’t make the most of it. The idea of intermittent happiness to be pursued in life is a fallacy. But being stuck in a loop of sadness for too long can also be damaging.

Nature and its cycles have much to teach us. Accepting and taking action that is aligned with our personal cycle is one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learnt in the last 5 years. (Not that it was easy or that I have ceased to struggle with it. But I feel incredibly aware of it now.) Even if the action is by not taking any action. (something that can also be very challenging in a society that emphasises doing and achievement so strongly!)

So in this New Year Eve, close to a New Moon in Capricorn, my wish is that we can all learn how to be deeply rooted in ourselves, how to feel, trust, and follow the natural wisdom of our cycles, and, in this way, develop more authenticity in a mature and solid manner.

Then, and only then (I feel), we are going to be able to, genuinely, have a positive impact in our society, planet, cosmos, universe… whatever needed.

Happy new year!

 

Transit after transit…

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner life

Mercury is retrograde at 13 degrees Sagittarius, very close to make a conjunction to my natal Uranus/Mars in the first house and a lot of the current theme for me has been connected with personal freedom and individuation.

I believe that Jupiter in the early degrees of Sagittarius is also echoing this message.

During this last period of Venus moving retrograde I have been questioning and feeling a strong urge to find more space within my relationship. (with the times when Venus opposed Uranus as a peak of realisation about this need)

Now what is strongly coming up to me is not only the need for personal freedom, but also lots of questions about our conditioning when it comes to relating with one another.

Last week we had a training course on life coaching and the group of people that came here for the training were amazing. I connected with many of them in such a beautiful way. The dynamic between the group reminded me of one of those conscious summer festivals that I used to go when Pluto was transiting my natal Moon.

It felt like home!

In the last night we did an angel walk together (basically walking in a corridor of people whispering beautiful messages into your ears) and had a very long group cuddle for at least an hour. My heart was so open and the love I felt was so strong that it felt like being high on drugs.

I was in such a powerful and beautiful state that even saying no and asserting myself became easy and loving as well. I felt empowered.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the general conditioning of being supposed to love only one person, or being protective and caring only towards family members, etc. Why is that? Why can we not allow love to flow and increase itself by giving it freely?

Why are we not allowing love to ebb and flow organically?

I have read once that love is the only thing that does not work mathematically in the way we know, the more you give the more you have to give. You never run out of it. (talking about unconditional love here)

Then I thought that if my personal experience of transiting Pluto to my Moon is connected with my role in the collective change that we are going through, my new sense of security within is what will enable me to love more and to help breaking old patterns that do not foster growth in positive ways.

I would really like to find new ways of relating, with more authenticity and the willingness to be vulnerable and communicate openly.