Quick catch up and Composite charts

I am sitting at my new desk now and, although tired, feels great.

Since I came back from my (extended) time spent in Brazil I have been leading a nomadic life, again.

The difference this time though, reflected by my solar arc ascendant (plus progressed Mars) shifting from Sag to Capricorn, is that I was not feeling the adventurous spirit anymore. I was rather looking forward to moving to the right home so I can focus on work and my masters’ thesis!

All I want is to work, be productive, and take my life more seriously than before.

I do not want to waste time anymore with basics like constant moving from place to place, or shopping for food and getting acquainted with yet another kitchen, or trying to find something to wear inside my suitcase.

No.

Last Thursday I moved into my new home in London and I feel truly grateful as I also seem to have found a nice little community – the people I am sharing the house with are friendly and funny and I feel surprisingly at ease around them already.

(Transiting Jupiter is conjoined my Progressed Moon in Aquarius in the 4th house!)

As I begin to catch up with all the big (and the little) important things surrounding settling down, I start to shift my awareness back to astrological work. Slowly I can concentrate again.

My next webinar is planed for mid October (I might have to postpone the date as I haven’t had time to advertise it properly) and it will be about midpoint composite charts.

I love composite charts!

Relationship astrology was one of the things that really got me hooked into astrology many years ago. I was thrilled to discover clues and the opportunity to deepen my understanding of something so profoundly complex like love relationships. (by love, I also mean family ties, friendships, etc).

It fascinates me how much the midway between both people’s Sun, Moon, etc, can be surprisingly revealing about the dynamics of the relationship itself, and more importantly, how the relationship potentially affects each person individually.

For instance I had a relationship with somebody that the composite Sun was right on my natal Venus. It was really obvious how much of a Venusian character I would become every time we were hanging out. I felt really attractive and prone to celebrate my femininity. The relationship’s vital energy and purpose (the Sun) was putting the spot light on that point in my natal chart. It almost felt like I became Venus herself, the goddess of love and beauty, every time I was around that person, even long after we broke up.

A few years later, I had a relationship with somebody that the composite Sun would be right on my natal Saturn and the experience was entirely different, as one would expect. It was so clear how different the whole thing felt! Most of the time I would feel defensive and protective of myself, having a tremendous resistance to relax and surrender. And the funny thing is, I really liked that person.

Strange as it seems, and with all the mystery that still surrounds the why/how or when people get together, composite charts and astrological symbolism in general can be helpful to give us insight into the magic of relating. Insights into who we are becoming and what is valuable to us in that moment.

It is important not to try and impose astrological interpretations instead of looking within and checking in with yourself, but the food for thought is almost always welcome.

And I write these words as a reminder to myself: use it wisely!

New Moon and Venusian things

Happy New Moon everyone!

This one is quite a powerful one personally as it activates my natal Venus (which happens to be in the midpoint of my Sun-Moon, and also square to Neptune-Jupiter).

I actually have been overly aware of everything Venusian, together with my already mentioned eagerness to have a home. In fact, they’re both connected as my natal Moon is ruled by Venus.

Dreaming about having a beautiful home (that’s a good phrase for the Venus-Neptune-Moon combo…) and I guess that it won’t be much longer until I move into my new flat. I am so excited about that, I could scream!

Perhaps this is the beginning of my midlife crisis, me wanting to settle down a bit more and being tired of travelling much. Or maybe that’s my progressed/solar arc ascendant moving to Capricorn. All I wanna do is to have my beautiful base and to work and study. At least for now, that’s how I feel.

Regarding the New Moon Venus stuff, with also lots of trines from the Capricorn transiting planets as well as progressed Venus conjoined my natal Saturn, I feel more pragmatic and rational when it comes to love. At least so it seems.

It’s like I have taken down my rose tinted glasses for a bit and it feels good. My new mantra is: from now on, they will have to EARN (I can hear Saturn here!) my respect, time and attention. No more freebies! No more projecting my worth; validation needs to come from within.

I guess that I will always be a Venus Square Neptune person, but throughout life I believe that we can fine tune our natal aspects into a more refined way of expression. I enjoy the potential for compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love that the Venus-Neptune combo can reflect; and I also love art and beauty.

I am planning to learn how to play the guitar when Neptune opposes my natal Venus in a couple of years; maybe that’s a good way of negotiating with the universe in order not to fall into a massive delusion again and again and again… ? Have you ever ‘negotiated’ challenging transits to difficult points in your natal chart before? How did that go?

Venus-Neptune rant

After much tension for the last couple of weeks here I am to write another blog post. This one I think is more of a need for self expression than anything else.

I feel confused and not sure about how to proceed, where should I be or how should I deal with my situation now. My natal Venus Square Neptune has been transited by Pluto and Saturn for some time, with my progressed Venus just about to conjoin natal Saturn, and I do feel this is potentially a big time of learning. Learning about boundaries and self worth, learning about my self-delusion tendencies in love, etc. Learning to get hold of my longings and to not project into a potential partner.

But these days I met an ex lover and all of that knowing and self awareness sort of went down the drain. I’ve always made a point in meeting past lovers after sometime just to complete the process of getting over someone. Just to see how much that person does not have a hold on me anymore. Banishing someone I like from my life forever, has never been my way of dealing with a broken heart.

But what do we do when even after not seeing someone for 5 years you realise that you still have strong feelings for that person? How can that even be possible? I feel like I’ve had so many lives for the past five years, so much travelling, moving cities, jobs, doing a masters, different relationships, etc. So much has happened, so much growth. How is it possible to still have strong feelings for someone that I thought I left behind long ago?

He is one of the only people I’ve met that I felt completely comfortable sleeping beside me, I didn’t feel restless and could manage to go into deep sleep quite easily. Many of his personal planets fall into my 12th house and I have the feeling that that reflects an access that he has to my unconscious, which is quite nice for sleeping. I don’t know. It actually feels like he has free access to my soul, and that’s the trouble. How can you let go of a connection of this kind?

Although a lot of good things are happening in my life at the moment, I feel sad. I wonder what is the point of having such a strong and deep link with someone if you’re not able to pursue and explore it further. Grow together. Why? What is the point in learning about letting go of someone you like so much, knowing that they feel similarly towards you?

Not meant to be? What does that even mean? …

Full Moon in Aquarius and Authenticity

Im not sure how I missed out the fact that the coming full moon will be exactly conjoined my natal IC in Aquarius this coming Monday.

I guess that when you start studying astrology you become so keen that you never miss something like that, but once you have been studying it consistently for a few years, you then start to take the fast moving transits a bit for granted. Or maybe you just realise that every month there will be a new moon, and a full moon, etc…

But lunations do trigger long lasting transits, solar arc directions and secondary progressions. They have a way of emotionally intensifying whatever it is that you are going through.

I am working on my last assignment before my masters’ thesis and it happens to be a sky journal, a piece of phenomenological research on my observations of how the weather affects me emotionally. One of the themes that came up from the exercise is the awareness of a strong connection between weather x culture, home and belonging.

Lots of food for thought and it amazes me that for my last essay I am doing such a personal piece of work which enables me to explore an issue that feels so urgent to me right now. What and where is home? All of the internal work that took place during the transit from Pluto to my natal Moon still hasn’t given me the answer. I feel closer to finding it out maybe, but the concept of home still eludes me…

Back to the full moon though.

I have the feeling that this full moon will be triggering and challenging to reveal the amount of authenticity in our lives at the moment. Are we really in the right place? Are we really being ourselves in whatever situation that we are going through?

The full moon will be square to Uranus in Taurus and Venus (ruler of Taurus) might have some clues on how to solve the dilemma represented by this t square. Venus is in Gemini and very close to the North Node, so allowing people the space needed to find out what they need to find out, rationality and open communication afterwards might be what we need. Perhaps there is something that we will need to communicate regarding the process that Venus retrograde was reflecting earlier this year as well. Also these days Venus formed the last of 3 squares to Neptune (which started in May), and some resolutions regarding previous confusion might be a possibility with this full moon as well.

What are your values, what is important to you in order to feel loved? Are you happy with the flow of give and take in your relationships or are you giving more than receiving? And if that’s the case, why? These are some of the questions worth asking ourselves now..

Pluto-Moon transit update and roots

In less than a month I will be heading back to the UK after almost 6 months living in Brazil. I have mixed feelings and think about how much the decision of living outside your home country changes things for good.

Where then is home?

For many years I rejected Brazil as my place of origin and adopted the foreigner identity, but now this seems to be changing again. I don’t feel completely Brazilian in a cliche sort of way, but I also don’t feel ‘not Brazilian’ anymore either.

These feelings made me think about writing a sort of update on my long lasting/ongoing Pluto-Moon transit.

For the last 5 years much has happened in connection to transiting Pluto forming a square to my natal Moon.

(if you’re curious about this whole process just click on the tag ‘Pluto Square Moon’)

I now find myself a lot more balanced and emotionally honest, giving more space for healthier emotional bonds in my life, and the list really goes on. Feeling more secure within myself, more solid, living what seems to be a more authentic life, more courageous in lots of different levels, with a transformed relationship with my mother but also the inner mother has changed a lot… (the list really goes on…) but…

I still find myself without a home.

Since I moved out from London in early 2015 I’ve travelled a lot and experimented a lot. I’ve developed myself through moving around, also through gathering the courage and guts to move on my own. I lived in Bristol, in Thailand for 3 months, I hitchhiked for 3 months, I’ve worked on summer festivals by myself, I moved to a community in the Forest of Dean for a year and a half, I came back to sense myself in Brazil for 6 months… I’ve put down roots just to shortly pull them up again.

I think I did a lot. (A lot of moving around, definitely)

Now, as I stare into my temporary keyring which is once more with multiple sets of keys (one for my mom’s, one for my friend’s where I currently live, and one from the guy I’ve been dating)  I wonder how long it will take until I’m able to have a home that’s not so much temporary…

How long until I can put down roots which will grow a little further than usual?

I am looking into buying a flat in Sao Paulo with my father and my intuition says that perhaps my 12 year chapter in England is coming to an end…

At the moment transiting Pluto is forming a trine/sextile to my ASC-DSC axis and trine to my natal Venus, but it will eventually conjunct my IC in Aquarius. And I wonder what will be the condition of my roots by then…

I also find interesting the fact that my Progressed Moon is in Aquarius, the sign of my IC, and in 6 months it will be crossing over it and into my 4th house, exactly when Im thinking about coming back to Brazil to spend another 6 months, but by then, possibly with a flat of my own.

Piscean Mercury Retrograde 2020

For a while I’ve been meaning to come here and write a little about this cycle of retrogradation of Mercury in Pisces which begins today.

We usually attribute imagination to the symbolism of Mercury in Pisces but as I look into the chart for the moment that it will start moving backwards later on today, I have the sense that much of the themes emerging back will have something to do with rebalancing the emphasis we put on relationships and other people’s needs versus our own.

How did I get to that idea?

Both the Moon and Mercury will be forming an almost exact square, from Sagittarius to Pisces, and I see here a conflict between merging (Pisces) and freeing yourself in order to pursue what is meaningful to you (Sagittarius). Both are ruled by Jupiter in Capricorn somehow reflecting the need to be grounded and take responsibility for working with this duality.

Venus is in Aries, quite close to Chiron also in Aries (speaking of dealing with the different layers of our wounded sense of self?), emphasising individuality, and Mars just recently moved into Capricorn. Here our awareness is brought back to the Stellium in Capricorn which has being under the spotlight for a few months now (comprised of Saturn, Pluto, South Node and Jupiter).

What is it that we better take responsibility for?

Mercury in Pisces has a resonance with intuitive thinking, dreams, imagination, but the final dispositor for this cycle of retrogradation is Saturn in Capricorn, a symbol reflecting separation, inner authority, hard work and maturation. I feel that this could be a wonderful 3 weeks to regain focus on what truly matters to us as individuals, even if in a creative and intuitive manner, as opposed to what other people expect from us, including our partner.

As usual, during the Mercury retrograde period we do well in revisiting, rethinking, reassessing, etc… and also, not to forget to always bring the symbolism of transits into your natal chart in order to figure out how “exactly” and in which area of your life this process is bound to take place, and in this way, achieve further insight.

Use your imagination and go beyond!

Synastry is one of the astrological techniques that has deeply interested me from the very beginning of my journey with astrology.

Since a young age, maybe when I was 9 or 10 years old, as we didn’t have internet yet, I used to read those cheap astrological magazines available in Brazil on the basic sun sign romantic combination and felt like I was uncovering some secret truth that was kept away from the majority of people.

With that said, the mystery of chart combination and astrological compatibility still hasn’t ceased to amaze me!

The other day as I was dancing around the living room and having corporeal insights into the subject (sometimes that happens with me), when suddenly it became clear to me something that I had heard during one of John Green’s lectures about synastry and the importance of always considering each astrology chart individually before making any further assumption on compatibility.

I was thinking about two different people currently in my life and how each affect me in very distinct ways, which also brought me the thought that attraction can have many facets and be very individually experienced as well.

In all of the astrological cookbooks one of the most well-known interaspects indicating magnetic sexual attraction between two people is Venus from one person activating Mars of the other.

(Im sure that I have already written about this when a co-worker in the past had his Mars in a tight conjunction to my Venus and all that that reflected was that we could work really well together, but definitely not in a romantic way as I didn’t feel any sort of sexual attraction towards him)

Anyway, here is another opportunity for me to uncover what it seems to be one of the ‘absolute truths’ of the astrological cookbook literary world!

I have been seeing someone for a few weeks and things are developing quite nice and slowly (I currently have transiting Saturn forming a trine to my natal Venus and DSC).

One day we went out together and I met one of his friends which I felt a magnetic attraction towards almost immediately. The physical vibrations I was feeling when he sat at our table serving himself a glass of beer sort of reflected to me that that was reciprocal, I think.

It was weird and uncomfortable even to talk with each other at first and I was at times feeling paranoid that my behaviour was too obvious and revealing. I did not feel very good about the whole thing.

Days later, when I was dancing and having astrological insights, I had the thought that that guy’s Mars closely trining my natal Venus was actually activating my natal Venus square Neptune combo and it was pretty uncomfortable rather than a ‘wonderful magnetic physical smooth sexual chemistry’. I felt awkward (my Venus is also in Virgo!) and very inadequate a lot of the time when this person was around, whereas with the current guy I am going out with there is a very strong friendly energy and I feel that I can be myself much more freely.

There are many other details that I have analysed about both synastries and both people in question, for instance the guy Im going out with have done many years of therapy already, a fact I feel that is of paramount importance in how a person can express more consciously the energies reflected in the birth chart, but I am not going to go into it right now.

My point is that we have to always analyse the whole chart and the level of awareness of each person before making assumptions on how the relationship will evolve. And in my opinion, we can’t know that without listening to the person in question.

So, cookbooks yes, they are an important step in order to start understanding what the symbolism can mean. They are part of a fundamental stage in our development and gathering of basic knowledge. But don’t get stuck with them, use your imagination and go beyond!

Full Moon in Taurus, and the importance of conscious lightness…

Today I’ve been working on my first assignment for the current module Im taking for my MA and was checking the astrological weather for the coming weeks.

Mercury still moving backwards in Scorpio reflecting an invitation for non-action and for deeply rethinking about our emotional patterns and shadows. Communication only if deeply honest and tempered by psychological awareness.

Where is Scorpio in your chart?!

This is the area where all of this soulful reassessing is happening…

My ASC is in Scorpio and as I write this post, Mercury is starting to make its way back into the 12th house of my natal chart until it reaches my natal Saturn, in the exact degree that Mercury will be stationing to go forward again on the 21st of November.

I feel that much of the themes that this Mercury retrograde is reflecting personally to me is quite recognisable, all the emotional honesty kind of stuff, including addressing my fear of it as well (as Saturn in my case is involved in this cycle).

I do love what Scorpio stands for though, even if sometimes is a bit too much, or too intense, I have a real appreciation for it. This too reflects something of my own nature / natal chart. The dichotomy between the Scorpio placements and the strong disruptive tendencies symbolised by the prominent Uranus in my chart.

So then I tend to attract people with a very similar split, not to say with the same astrological symbolism in their charts, (even if slightly shuffled). This is an interesting phenomena I’ve seen repeating again and again not only in my life.

Then I was checking this coming full moon which will be taking place on November the 12th in Taurus. Couple of things called my attention.

Firstly we do well in keeping in our minds that this is the culmination of the disruptive New Moon conjunct Uranus we had this month, so somehow the continuation of that story.

The other thing I noticed is that Mars, the traditional ruler of Scorpio, will be aspecting Jupiter in Sagittarius and Venus, the ruler of Taurus, will be placed in Sagittarius also. This somehow makes me think that keeping things humorous and being in tune with your capacity for laughing at yourself and at life’s situations in general, could be of great aid here. Friendship rather than intense possessiveness could also be a way out from the dilemas potentially reflected by this intense lunation.

The moon in Taurus and the Sun/Mercury in Scorpio will also be harmoniously  aspecting Saturn/Pluto in Capricorn, a potentially positive and productive aspect if we are willing to take responsibility for ourselves, especially our emotional needs, and avoid blaming others or projecting our wellbeing on another person’s presence. Making sure boundaries are well set (paying attention not to exaggerate here, if overdoing boundaries is your pattern?) could be very helpful in order to make the most of these energies available!

 

Mercury Retrograde in the underworld…

Mercury is stationing at 27 degrees Scorpio today and will be moving backwards for the next 3 weeks.

Im feeling an introverted energy in the air compelling to reevaluate and revisit values regarding relationships, sharing and love in general. I think that last week’s new moon in Scorpio opposing Uranus was already calling us to do this work during this lunation, and Mercury retrograde seems to be reinforcing it.

Mercury is stationing conjunct Venus, reflecting the Venusian tone of this cycle of retrogradation.

With Venus and the Sun also in Scorpio I think that we will be able to get in touch with subterraneous intense emotions giving us clues about hidden patterns of behaviour that might be hindering real intimacy and connection with others, and ultimately, with ourselves.

For Scorpio the process of maintaining or reclaiming power is of paramount importance, and a very common tactic for preventing loss of power and vulnerability is by, willingly or unwillingly, stepping into psychological games with others. Manipulative techniques might be necessary in order to get what one wants, but at the same time, is a huge obstacle for what Scorpio mostly craves and needs: deep connections where one is able to be truly seen.

At the time of my Saturn return, my progressed Moon entered Scorpio, making a conjunction to my ASC, and that was the first time that I became consciously aware of these games we play with people in order to hide our heart and true motives.

I suddenly began asking myself what was the point on doing that, on saying no when you really mean yes, and that kind of stuff. I realised that we must make an effort in order to be real so people can also have a chance to be themselves, and as a result, a genuine relationship might be born…

Now with Mercury retrograde in Scorpio I feel the echoes of that time coming back, slightly different, but bringing up a similar theme nevertheless. I am a different person, in a different situation, living a distinct phase of my life, but Im a witness of the fascinating spiral cycles of growth reflected by astrological symbolism.

It never fails to amuse me!

The astrologer Steven Forrest in one of his books, or maybe in an article I can’t fully remember, wrote that Scorpio stands for (radical) psychological honesty. I think that keeping this idea in mind, just like a mantra, during this Mercury retrograde could be of great help to us all…

Scorpio New Moon trick or treat!

Once more trying to keep up with information on lunations…

Truth is that because it’s so cyclical it somehow bores me to write about full moon-new moon stuff.

But never mind that, because I do understand the importance of cycles (I feel that a huge part of astrology’s benefit is enhancing awareness on life’s cycles!) and I also understand how much easier is for us, in general, to connect meaning with the lunar cycles rather than the other planetary ones.

So here it goes…

This month’s new moon (which happens in the early hours of the 28th of October) resonates a little with my restless tendencies of natal Uranus in the first house (hence the boredom I talked earlier…) as the sun and the moon in Scorpio will be forming an exact opposition with Uranus in Taurus.

As I stare into the astrological map of this new moon I realise how much Mars and Venus are prominent in each other’s rulership sign: Venus in Scorpio (the sign ruled by Mars) and Mars in Libra (the sign ruled by Venus).

Traditionally they both are in fall, which would be interpreted by some people as an unfavourable position. Venus, which talks about our values and capacity for sharing and loving would feel uncomfortable in suspicious and protective Scorpio. At the same time, Mars which is about how we fight for what we want is less direct in Libra, the sign associated with relationships and sharing.

The way I see this interesting mutual reception between these planets during the new moon, is reflecting a need to work creatively within our capacity to relate and relationships themselves.

An echo of this idea is the axis of Scorpio (Moon and Sun) and Taurus (Uranus) which talks about, amongst other things, intensity and attachment (either emotional or physical/material), and with Uranus making its presence in the mix, I feel that challenges on letting go will feature strongly here.

Possessiveness or impulsiveness on breaking loose from someone could be part of the drama during this month (lunation). The old conflict, which I have written about in here a few times, between freedom and commitment.

A few years ago, during a very challenging time in my Saturn Return (which by the way is in Scorpio!), I read the book ‘Eastern body, Western Mind’ by Anodea Judith and had a great insight into the theme I believe this new moon to be about. The author linked this split with the second chakra and she talked about how the soul needs commitment and the spirit needs space and freedom. According to her the secret is in balancing these two needs because if we identify with only one side then the other person naturally compensates by playing the opposite. So, the more I want someone to commit to me the more the other person craves his freedom.

During this new moon I have the feeling that it is a great time for setting intentions for healing and balancing our two needs, being conscious of them both and not fully projecting one side of it into our significant other in order to avoid extreme situations.