Musings on the IC, home and heart.

I received an invitation from the AFAN to give an astrology masterclass in February. I was thrilled to receive it, as even though this moment feels very ungrounded to me (I guess for the last 7 years?!), I am still progressing in my work. Astrology is definitely one of my passions in life.

As I wondered about a potential topic for discussion, I had to check in with myself and ponder on what themes are important to me at this point. (I can only research or talk about something that truly resonates with me in the moment)

Where did I get so far? The IC! I find the IC such an important point in the chart, the most hidden and private, but also where we connect with our soul. And with psychology being the study of the psyche, or the soul, I realised how much this topic really interests me.

My IC is in Aquarius, I have long noticed a strong resonance with the detachment and coolness of Aquarians as a sort of homecoming to me. Leave me alone and I feel at home with you…or sometimes sharing a sort of silent presence, togetherness and spaciousness combined. There is something about the cool friendliness of Aquarius and its quiet acceptance that I find most nurturing. The odd and weird is familiar and nourishing to me. Friends are family. (I guess this also resonates with my Moon in the 11th and in the Aquarian decan! Whatever is truly important, it will be repeated in the astrology chart over and over again).

But what about the IC? The place of soul making and rest, where we go back to recharge. The place also where we come from, where our roots are. The beginning and the end – like the ouroboros. The IC is where we eat our own tale as well, the promise of completion. Where we come from and where we are heading to at the same time.

Apparently, according to astrowiki, Hellenistic astrologers considered the IC ‘the home of the underworld’. This invokes such powerful imagery for me. Our ancestral line is below us in the IC, and at the same time, what sustains us is down there too.

Polly Wallace wrote that ‘The IC, the undersky, is reflected by invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment. The MC, the middle of the heavens, flourishes out into a visible canopy that reaches for the sky.’ I have natal Sun and Mercury in the 10th house, the house related to the MC, and I have been on a mission, for most of my life, to try and reach for the sky. It has been quite a recent realisation, as Saturn transits my IC (and my progressed moon also makes its way through the natal 4th house) that without having a solid foundation and connection with a sense of home in here (pointing at my chest) not much can come to fruition.

I then wonder about the phrase ‘home is where the heart is’ – I noticed myself coming across that so many times since Pluto transited my natal moon and I started my journey searching for home. Since I left my home in London back in 2015 I haven’t been able to truly settle anywhere for long enough. Anxious feelings always get the best of me and moving has become the rule…no bond can be developed long enough or a sense of belonging somewhere. Then I wonder, is home really where the heart is? Because I sure struggle to connect with ‘invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment’ in the constant disruptive pattern I find myself in.

Astrologer Dawn Bodrogi (if you haven’t checked her blog yet, is one of my favourites!) said: ‘the IC contains the consciousness roots of the psyche which must be mined by the MC in order for there to be a creative flow between ‘in here’ and ‘out there’. We can only create with the material within us, and the IC is representative of that material.’  So according to her, we do need to be in touch with our IC in order to have something to offer, in order to have a sense of collective role.

Another engaging, inspiring and profound account of the IC was written by astrologer Anne Whitaker, particularly on how having an outer planet transit to your IC might manifest as deep change within and without as well.

I have experienced Uranus transiting my IC in 1998-1999 and I remember that around that time my mother found a new boyfriend – her and my dad tried to stay together for many years in a very passionate but turbulent relationship full of betrayal and jealousy and feelings. That was a shift, and although she kept this new relationship a secret from my father, things were never the same again. (those years were also when she began to go out clubbing – I believe that was part of my mother’s midlife crisis).

After that, Neptune crossed my IC in 2003 when I was 18 years old. That was the year I entered university to study History, became a sort of adult (at least that was how I was feeling back then, little did I know!) But also, and specially, this is the year that my brother moved to London with his Austrian girlfriend at the time. A year earlier he had gone to Australia to learn English and, up to that point in 2003, I was still thinking that he would be back eventually and life would keep on as it always was. So that was definitely a huge change for me, suddenly I became a sort of ‘single child’ for the following five years, until I moved to London myself and joined my brother in the international life. Home was never the same after those two transits, that’s for sure.

But something else has been gained, and for me, being of such tender age when that happened, it was also about being initiated into adulthood somehow. Realising that things can change in profound and irreversible ways was part of my experience – home, which used to always seem so unchangeable and secure, was transformed for good as I grew in awareness. I was never going to be the same either.

Perhaps our sense of self is very much buried in the IC, intertwined with it. And if, astrologically, home is where the IC is, then the heart must be somewhere around there too…

Uranian new moon in Leo today

As Saturn made its way back into my 3rd house again recently, I have been feeling this strong urge to express myself through writing. I also realised, once more, how much I actually love words and playing around with them.

Today is the new moon in Leo, with a waning square to Uranus in Taurus. I don’t know about you people, but I have been struggling a bit with the disruptive energies reflected by that particular configuration. Interestingly, I do have a Sun-Uranus square in my natal chart, shouldn’t I be more familiar with that type of cosmic weather?

I guess this logic makes sense, but it is always important to see the natal chart as a whole, and the Sun-Uranus square in my chart is actually part of a t square which involves Chiron in Gemini in the 7th house and Mars in the first.

Ouch!

Yes, charged disruption, restless feelings, behaviours that although outdated have proven to still be extremely compelling. All of that fuelled (perhaps fuelling at the same time) by miscommunication with others.

But that have also thrown me back to writing. I find tremendous solace in the written word. I have the time and space to express myself more accurately, more eloquently, sometimes even poetically… a real achievement to my analytical mind.

Transiting Saturn isn’t only back in my third house, but it is also applying to trine my Chiron in Gemini (with north node conjoined it right now!). Yes, maybe this is a time where I can work with communication blocks differently.

Obviously, with the nodes activating my natal super charged Uranian configuration, I also sense this to be a big time, a great opportunity for me to rethink/reset some of my patterns. Why do I have this extreme urge to do what I want, when I want, and I don’t take a no as an answer? Or the voice in the back of my mind that wants to sabotage intimate relationships by being uncompromising in a disguised manner? It is daunting to see this side of myself in comparison to my moon in Libra and Venus square Neptune, all those two want to do is compromise all the time.

A tug of war within.

But now, with this new moon square Uranus, I believe this is an interesting time for setting intentions regarding expression of the Uranian dimension of our charts. I somehow really think about the Sun-Uranus people out there as the new moon takes place in Leo.

Everything in the chart seems to be charged with tremendous power (some configurations more than others, of course) and it is our job to fine tune it. It is our job to use awareness to direct that power.

Surely it is challenging to do that constantly, but I believe that consciousness it’s like a muscle. The more we train it, the stronger and more present it becomes.

So I will be using this new moon to envision how I could express that strong urge to be my own man in a more creative and conscious manner, somehow, and hopefully, less taxing on my connections. Perhaps more active on my astrology work and less urgently and compulsively expressed in my private life. I feel this is what the alchemists have talked about, about how nature isn’t finalised but requires our conscious dedication to transform the lead into gold.

The archetype of the magician…also the trickster, hence the difficulty…but I believe it is possible… Happy new moon everyone.

Saturn and Inner Wisdom

Ok, so this writing just happened to me.

I was listening to music and having a cry when these words just started coming to me, so here they are.

But before that, just an astrological note. I see my Saturn in Scorpio being reflected in the text below, and when I recently found out (or maybe realised) that this planet sits exactly in the midpoint between my natal Venus square Neptune, I am convinced of its importance. Getting to know this Saturn and daring to integrate it a bit further seems to hold an important key for me and the potential success of my relationships. I think that the text below encapsulate a bit of it, a bit of my Saturn in Scorpio in the 12th at best.

Feeling things intensely isn’t the issue, the real issue is how we manage and work with the powerful energy that gets released/triggered with powerful emotions. Having someone that supports this process is of utter importance to me, for my growth and self-understanding. It is also paramount to not project and blame another for those feelings, either when they’re pleasant or unpleasant. Either way, we need taking a position of ownership rather than victimhood and to not act out onto another. 

The respect has to be mutual. 

It is clear to me that I cannot be with someone that cuts off emotions, or that find it all a bit too much. People that shy away from tears as if they’ve seen the antichrist disturbs me. Emotions are just that, something in motion, changeable. It is just a powerfully healing and transformative force. And I do not take the power of emotions for granted. This is why it is necessary to be like some sort of samurai, some kind of martial art master – to be brave enough to master your emotions. To ride them and see where the destination is, at least in that moment, for it changes from moment to moment. 

Bravery to be an observer of the change.

I see emotions like a powerful chariot, like the one in the Tarot, with a white and black horse pulling it around. Happy or sad, emotions drag us around, it pushes us to do things, to take chances, to cry in the bathroom when no one is looking. One thing is for sure, emotion is what heals, inflames, possess us at all times, so getting to know them, making them your acquaintance is, in my view, a positive way of relating with it. It is a powerfully transformative way of relating with your deepest and authentic self, of getting to know you…    

Jupiter (etc) on the IC

Today there was no thunderstorm.

Instead, just a gentle rain, one of those still somehow illuminated by the sun, some kind of rainbow weather.

As I watched it through my window, eating a piece of freshly cut watermelon I felt a warmth in my chest and smiled thinking to myself: ‘I’m in Brazil’

‘I am Brazil’ or ‘Brazil is me’, probably both.

With Jupiter conjoining my IC in Aquarius to the degree right now, I strangely feel a sense of belonging.

The last full moon was activating my MC-IC and a huge release of emotions happened to me, I had to begin letting go of the UK and the last (almost) 13 years of my life. Another chapter is beginning to unfold, and the pandemic and collective general chaos is affecting my options and the choices I have to make.

In the last few years I went through a Pluto hard transit to my natal Moon and a conscious quest for home sort of began, in the process I went through a lot of purging, moving around and challenging myself, perhaps all in order to discover a new sense of security within. But now it seems that I am closer to having an actual home to put my roots down a little deeper this time.

I am aware that the effects of a Jupiter transit lasts a lot less in comparison to the outer planets’, and for this reason it somehow reflects opportunities that are somewhat more fleeting. Saturn will then make its way backwards and forwards over my IC while Uranus squares it. I know that I need to change how I present myself into the world and I also feel that in order for that to happen I need some solid ground. I need to have a secure space to do my work from.

The amazing thing is, the more I listen to the voices coming from the depths of my IC the more I seem to be thriving in my work. Many people are seeking my services lately, with a few different talks lined up, including a short course I designed introducing Synastry, I am beautifully busy. There is also my masters’ thesis which I am just about to start. My professional dreams seem to be slowly coming true and I’m loving it.

My mind is sharp at the moment.

But for now, I silently eat my watermelons gazing out the window…watching the water nurture my surroundings.

A little on midpoints

Astrology as a subject for research never ceases to amaze me.

I have currently been looking into midpoints a bit more and what a fascinating topic. My Moon in Libra, ultra sensitive towards symmetry and beauty, really seems to love the idea of a midpoint being a place where integration can happen.

For the ones reading this and thinking ‘what the hell are midpoints?’, it is a very simple concept, for instance every single point or planet in the horoscope, in relation to another, will have a half way – if mars in your chart is at 6 degrees Sag and your Venus is 26 Virgo the middle between the two is 1 Scorpio. Does that make sense? It is a simple mathematical calculation really. (there will be a further midpoint and a closer one, the closer is the most commonly used including to cast composite charts – another fascinating use of midpoints!)

In the astro.com website they say: ‘A midpoint marks the focal point at which the energies of two planets meet. If a third planet is conjunct this point it receives these energies and to a certain degree acts as a channel for them.’

Exactly!

It is very interesting, if you have a planet in the midpoint of two planets in an opposition (that would be a T square) or in between two planets forming a square, it could act not only as a ‘channel’ but also it could reflect a possible way out from the dichotomy and towards more inner integration.

I love how we can potentially discover new things as we continue our astrological learning journey, including discovering new placements and things about our own astrology chart that we did not notice before.

I have written about my currently progressed Venus forming a conjunction to natal Saturn and roughly how serious I have been feeling regarding love relationships and personal boundaries – well, as I researched the midpoints in my chart I realised that Saturn sits right in the midpoint of my natal square between Neptune and Venus!

How interesting! To me this placement is somehow quite hopeful. The more I work on my Saturn in order to integrate it further in my psyche, the more I can potentially become more solid and realistic in how I deal with others… I feel that my natal Saturn holds a potential key for practicing boundaries and realism when my Venus-Neptune combo gets too dreamy.

Has any of you found an important planet in between a natal square like this? Do you feel that that planet can help you out with the conundrum?

Reflections and realisations

The coming full moon eclipse on the 30th of November will be exact conjoined my natal Chiron in the 7th house. There are lots of different insights that I can have by observing the full moon’s chart in comparison to my own, but what strikes me is the reminder that most things astrological symbols reflect are rather process oriented than a ‘one off’ type of thing.

Another fellow astrologer wrote an interesting text regarding the coming full moon eclipse and linking it up to a lunation from May 2003, that’s when I was beginning my History degree in Sao Paulo. I can’t particularly remember anything else, nothing special in the relationship arena (which I would expect to see with a natal Chiron in Gemini in the 7th house). What about yourself, can you remember anything relevant that was going on for you in May 2003?

The Sagittarius-Gemini axis relate to information and education in general, how do you communicate your ideas and beliefs? How attached are you to them?

Since 2017 the big planets transiting Capricorn have been activating my natal 3rd house and a huge process of deepening and exploring ideas about astrology and how to communicate them has been taking place for me. Also, the Saturn-Jupiter conjunction will be happening there for me, in my 3rd house. It will be forming a trine to my North Node in Gemini in the 7th house as well as a square to my Pluto.

Ideas, communication, writing, reading, expressing myself, are some of the themes that have been under the spotlight for me recently, and it seems like it will be even more so in the years to come.

Regarding intense emotions and full moons and eclipses, I just realised how emotional I feel right now after having a melt down by myself for feeling really tired. I haven’t had a whole day off in ages, I can’t even remember when was the last one. I have always wanted to work on my career so badly in order to make sure that my job never feels like a ‘job’ in the boring/obligation kind of sense.

I have known that I can only dedicate myself to something meaningful and enjoyable for quite sometime.

But as I was crying and feeling the tension throughout my body today I suddenly realised that that too feels like ‘work’, like something serious and important, and that I need to find ways of relaxing and having lightness and fun in my life. At the moment I doubt my capacity for doing that, for enjoying myself without studying or working or being productive in some way. One of the only ways that I could do that was by having a romance and dating someone but the last thing I want to bring into my life now is frivolity, and dating seems very shallow to me at the moment (says the progressed Venus exact conjoined natal Saturn in the 12th).

I feel heavy. Hope you are feeling better out there.

Another Venus-Neptune post

We are all living in a liminal space at the moment, perhaps for this whole year. Around me I see people struggling with different things, some having financial problems, others psychological struggles, but everyone seems to be feeling the difficulties of a very charged moment of change (collectively and individually).

As I work on my dissertation’s topic and delve deeper into concepts like ‘peak experiences’, ‘enchantment’, ‘ecofeminism’, I realise how disconnected from each other and everything else we are as a society. I feel that it is exactly in the ‘illusion of separation’ that lies our troubles. And how are we going to work on that?! Are we even going to?!

Sometimes (most of the time) I think that our survival as a species depends on that, on this spiritual shift and realisation that we are all interconnected. The deep understanding that if someone is suffering in the room I too suffer. The notion that if we continue to exploit and usurp from the environment there will be consequences, as above so below – as within so without. The way we treat the environment reflects how we treat ourselves and each other.

Transiting Venus, the ruler of yesterday’s new moon in Libra, is just about to oppose Neptune and I feel flooded by these feelings and I somehow resent being in this world at this moment. I resent having to witness all the ugliness around me, the lack of solidarity and kindness. I feel alone and sad right now, hoping that I can transform this energy into fuel for something else…

Solar Arc Direction and inner shifts…

Yesterday my Solar Arc ascendant has officially shifted to Capricorn, which will last for the next 30 years, so I guess this is a big deal.

Amongst a variety of prognostic techniques in astrology, Solar Arc direction is the one I don’t use it so often but as a kind of a ‘scientist’ I like observing it.

Apparently, in Solar Arc direction (I would actually consider that in relation to any astrological prognostic technique), when there is a shift in astrological sign like the one mentioned, we better look at what we have in that sign natally to get some clues on how the next 30 years might play out.

I have only Jupiter and the part of fortune in Capricorn, and the sign is also on the cusp of my third house. Natal Jupiter is in a tight trine to my Mercury-Sun conjunction and this seems to have a similar message to the third house cusp thing.

My take is that perhaps this shift from Sagittarius to Capricorn will enable me to move and travel a little less and to focus instead on work and intellectual production.

I also hope that this process will reflect a change from emphasising my Mars (out of bounds) conjoined Uranus in the first house in Sagittarius (square Sun-Mercury) to, the already mentioned, Jupiter.

I feel that I could do not only with learning more about practicing patience, but also and specially dealing better with boredom, something that tend to sabotage many opportunities in my life (for work, relationships, etc).

Perhaps living on the fast lane isn’t for me anymore and I would really like to learn more about taking things slow, learn more about working steadily and patiently towards a goal, and feeling ok with being temporarily bored without the need to act out and create disruption.

(BTW, Solar Arc Pluto is one degree away from my natal Mars… so perhaps learning these lessons are in the cards for me anyway…)

Have you observed a shift of signs by Solar Arc direction in your chart? How did that play out for you? Did it help integrating your natal chart more?

New Moon and Venusian things

Happy New Moon everyone!

This one is quite a powerful one personally as it activates my natal Venus (which happens to be in the midpoint of my Sun-Moon, and also square to Neptune-Jupiter).

I actually have been overly aware of everything Venusian, together with my already mentioned eagerness to have a home. In fact, they’re both connected as my natal Moon is ruled by Venus.

Dreaming about having a beautiful home (that’s a good phrase for the Venus-Neptune-Moon combo…) and I guess that it won’t be much longer until I move into my new flat. I am so excited about that, I could scream!

Perhaps this is the beginning of my midlife crisis, me wanting to settle down a bit more and being tired of travelling much. Or maybe that’s my progressed/solar arc ascendant moving to Capricorn. All I wanna do is to have my beautiful base and to work and study. At least for now, that’s how I feel.

Regarding the New Moon Venus stuff, with also lots of trines from the Capricorn transiting planets as well as progressed Venus conjoined my natal Saturn, I feel more pragmatic and rational when it comes to love. At least so it seems.

It’s like I have taken down my rose tinted glasses for a bit and it feels good. My new mantra is: from now on, they will have to EARN (I can hear Saturn here!) my respect, time and attention. No more freebies! No more projecting my worth; validation needs to come from within.

I guess that I will always be a Venus Square Neptune person, but throughout life I believe that we can fine tune our natal aspects into a more refined way of expression. I enjoy the potential for compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love that the Venus-Neptune combo can reflect; and I also love art and beauty.

I am planning to learn how to play the guitar when Neptune opposes my natal Venus in a couple of years; maybe that’s a good way of negotiating with the universe in order not to fall into a massive delusion again and again and again… ? Have you ever ‘negotiated’ challenging transits to difficult points in your natal chart before? How did that go?

Venus-Neptune rant

After much tension for the last couple of weeks here I am to write another blog post. This one I think is more of a need for self expression than anything else.

I feel confused and not sure about how to proceed, where should I be or how should I deal with my situation now. My natal Venus Square Neptune has been transited by Pluto and Saturn for some time, with my progressed Venus just about to conjoin natal Saturn, and I do feel this is potentially a big time of learning. Learning about boundaries and self worth, learning about my self-delusion tendencies in love, etc. Learning to get hold of my longings and to not project into a potential partner.

But these days I met an ex lover and all of that knowing and self awareness sort of went down the drain. I’ve always made a point in meeting past lovers after sometime just to complete the process of getting over someone. Just to see how much that person does not have a hold on me anymore. Banishing someone I like from my life forever, has never been my way of dealing with a broken heart.

But what do we do when even after not seeing someone for 5 years you realise that you still have strong feelings for that person? How can that even be possible? I feel like I’ve had so many lives for the past five years, so much travelling, moving cities, jobs, doing a masters, different relationships, etc. So much has happened, so much growth. How is it possible to still have strong feelings for someone that I thought I left behind long ago?

He is one of the only people I’ve met that I felt completely comfortable sleeping beside me, I didn’t feel restless and could manage to go into deep sleep quite easily. Many of his personal planets fall into my 12th house and I have the feeling that that reflects an access that he has to my unconscious, which is quite nice for sleeping. I don’t know. It actually feels like he has free access to my soul, and that’s the trouble. How can you let go of a connection of this kind?

Although a lot of good things are happening in my life at the moment, I feel sad. I wonder what is the point of having such a strong and deep link with someone if you’re not able to pursue and explore it further. Grow together. Why? What is the point in learning about letting go of someone you like so much, knowing that they feel similarly towards you?

Not meant to be? What does that even mean? …