Insightful eclipse season

The current eclipse season has been an interesting one so far.

I know people struggling with different things and different areas of their life. And I also know that some are feeling rather inspired lately.

During this liminal space between new and full moon, in eclipse season, there is so much that we can do or become aware of. This time is a potentially powerful one, if you care to pay attention to.

What feelings have been coming up to you? What thoughts or needs are becoming insistent?

Since I finished my master’s dissertation, my time management has changed completely. The freedom to think about and learn new things has been exhilarating, until the feeling of overwhelm hit me the other day.

I’ll explain.

I was focusing a lot of my thinking on business, marketing and money mindset things. I felt I had enough of being so informal with my astrology practice, since this is the only thing I can see myself doing. For some reason, no, I am not normal and able to have a ‘side job’.

Perhaps the Scorpio rising ‘all or nothing’ attitude dictates how I do things. Perhaps not having kids or financial responsibilities of that sort enables me to. I don’t know.

What I know is that I could never just have a regular job and do my passion on my spare time. That never worked for me.

So there I was, feeling excited, learning a lot about business, and launches and money mindset, when a sudden feeling of overwhelm took me over. It was intense. So much so that I had to drop everything and go to my yoga mat and meditate.

Anything that would help me regain balance was welcomed.

And that’s when I realised the solar eclipse was happening in my twelfth house and on my natal Pluto. I was dealing with things that were deeply unconscious and part of many generations’ story in my family.

The days went by, with the intense emotional release of that day still in my awareness.

Then boom, another massive insight!

I realised that I am a highly sensitive person.

Have you heard about HSP and Elaine Aron’s work? This is such a huge game changer for me, that I will have to write a whole post about it.

For now, I just want to say, eclipse season can be powerful for insights and clarity around your path and purpose in life. Watch those intense feelings and events, they have something to tell you that can be utterly empowering. If you care to pay attention to…

Slowly coming back

I finally completed my master’s degree.

(Nothing else to be done other than wait for my dissertation to be marked)

I am so happy to have managed it, but then, at the same time, it is also such a strange feeling. To finish something that you were dedicating your full attention and commitment for 4 years is bittersweet. On one hand the great feeling of accomplishment: you managed, you did it, after so many sleepless nights and stressing over deadlines and whatnots. But at the same time: what now? I feel a little empty…

Have you experienced anything like that before too?

It hasn’t even been a month since I submitted my thesis and I’m already feeling anxious with the need to be busy again. To have my sense of purpose validated by external activities.

And that leads me back to astrology.

Life is cyclic, seasonal. We breath in, breath out. Why do we so easily forget that and keep trying to ‘breath out’ all the time?

Back to astrology: new moon, transits to the IC, planets progressing into the twelfth house, progressed new moons, retrograde planets…

Life is also about resting, about quietly gestating or preparing the ground for a new phase.

Let there be balance. (a reminder to myself)

October is such an interesting month astrologically. Many planets still moving retrograde, with Mars in Gemini joining in the backwards motion soon, and the start of eclipse season. We are in a period for evaluation and creative envisioning. What would you like your life to look like? What direction do you want things to go?

I am here writing this to remind you (and myself) that these times of contraction and introspection are valuable and necessary for creation. The conception of an idea is as important as its execution.

I’ll be back soon with more, and I wish you all a great time of rest.

New Moon Eclipse musings

Happy new moon solar eclipse!

I have wanted to come here and write a blog post for a while now, but have been so busy that it was almost impossible.

I’m all packed and ready to go again. London still feels like home, but the world is calling me. Next destination: Athens.

Let the digital nomadic life begin!

I heard that some astrologers talk about eclipses not being a good time to begin anything, but I am a strong believer of connecting with your instincts and feelings as a way of knowing better. A way of knowing what is better for YOU.

When it comes to natal charts, no astrological rule can be absolute.

Eclipses are not always traumatic, as observed by Bernadette Brady, sometimes eclipses can reflect very happy changes. This is how I personally feel now. This is a very happy change for me and my partner, who btw has the new moon eclipse right on his Venus and DSC, talk about timings!

No, I didn’t plan or calculated to move countries on a new moon eclipse. Although a professional astrologer, I don’t always keep an eye on the ephemeris when it comes to making decisions. Maybe I should, but oftentimes I see beautiful synchronicities in life events happen naturally.

Like this one now, for example.

Anyhow, this new moon eclipse has a very beautiful energy with Venus and Jupiter conjoined in Pisces (at the very degree of Venus’ exaltation!). Abundance, forgiveness, healing, moving on to the next stage of our lives, cleaner from emotional debris. Inspiration, artistic and spiritual as well, are also potentially a great part of this configuration.

What would an inspiring life look like to YOU? How could you bring that to fruition?

Today is the day to ponder on that. To love yourself and to hold your deepest values close to your heart. To think of ways where you can align all different dimension of your life (your job, your relationships, your daily routines, etc) with those values. A perfect time also to inhabit you body – to nourish, look after and enjoy the pleasures of having one.

Give yourself a massive hug and whisper to yourself how much you appreciate all the effort.

The sabian symbols for this new moon configuration is also massively inspiring. For 10 degrees Taurus is ‘A woman sprinkling flowers’ and 27 degrees Pisces ‘A fertile garden under the full moon’.

What flowers would you like to see growing in the garden of your life? The ground is fertile now, be wise and present with the seeds you will be sprinkling.

Happy gardening everyone.

Transiting Nodes part 2

And here comes the lunar nodes again!

Over the years I have noticed a great interest in one of my blog posts called ‘Transiting Nodes’ , I just recently re-read and (apart from some typos :/ which my Virgo planets couldn’t help but notice) it dawned on me that here I am going through another interesting transit from the Nodes that I could share.

At the risk of sounding a bit ageist, (I am not!), I have to say that there is something quite interesting that happens when you’re interested in astrology for long enough as an adult.

(no, doing astrology when you’re 10 years old does not count here, sorry)

You get to see, little by little, all sorts of transits happening and being reflected by circumstances in your life. You learn astrology from another, more experiential, angle.

For example, in the article mentioned above, I was writing my observations when transiting North Node of the Moon made a conjunction to my ASC back in early 2013. That happened simultaneously with my Saturn return and a lot of lessons surrounding the Scorpio archetype and my personal experience of those symbols in my chart.

Now, transiting North Node in Taurus is making an exact conjunction to my DSC, the opposite transit to the one I had back in 2013.

What do I observe here? How is this playing out now?

A lot of it seems to be about relationships, at least in my life because my natal lunar North Node is in the 7th house anyway. So as much as I believe in the connection between the nodes and karmic relationships in general, I’m still not a hundred percent sure if this is because of my natal signature or not. And also, obviously, these transits were activating the ASC-DSC axis, the relationship axis.

But here are my insights nevertheless:

When I had my lunar node return, just a few months before the transit I’m having now, I was getting involved with a person that I’m still currently in a relationship with. Mind you, isolating transits is never a great policy, if there is something big happening to you, it might be worth checking everything that’s going on in the sky.

(In many occasions I see people commenting on an intense full Moon and how emotionally difficult it feels but they are also having a challenging transit from Pluto to their natal Moon. Yes, the full Moon might reflect an enhanced emotional atmosphere, but the Pluto transit is reflecting a challenge and change that is a lot deeper and more endurable.)

So I would say always keep an eye in every transit to your natal chart, know your planet’s degrees by heart, etc.

My other transits are also pointing out to changes in relationships, Pluto is trine my natal Venus, progressed Venus was conjoined Saturn, etc. But also the lunar node is conjoined my DSC – the way that this seems to be playing out for me is very much connected with changing the type of people that I get involved with.

Yes, the relationship seems to have a more karmic feeling as well, the amount of compatibility I have with this person is very different from what I felt before. There is no glamour or an overly romantic aura this time. Instead, there seems to be something very fundamentally human and ‘easy’.

I don’t mean easy as not having difficult feelings being triggered, I mean easy as to how we deal with those feelings together, how we can easily communicate with each other, etc.

So from 2013 when I was learning how to refine my attitudes and choices regarding relationships, for example how my own behaviour had an impact on my happiness or how to take more responsibility for the choices I made, I now came to the other side. How much can we grow when we make these choices based on actual compatibility, the lesson isn’t so focused on dealing with the consequences of my actions in relationships, but simply to relate.

When you are finally with the ‘right person’ the lessons and growth won’t stop there. What happens is that another kind of growth begins, a growth in togetherness. The old scripts are uncomfortably challenged again and again, old traumas are triggered, but there is someone else there with you. The dynamic is different.

So I still believe that transits from the lunar nodes point out to important developments and some kind of karmic growth. Relevant people seems to show up. (nodes in synastry seems to have the same effect)

Have you noticed the nodes transiting something in your chart? How did that play out for you?

Last Full Moon in Leo, the IC, insights, and novelty.

Last week there was a full moon in Leo, square the nodes, and it only dawned on me now that it was opposing my progressed Moon in Aquarius.

I have been keeping super busy, trying new mediums and ways to channel creativity and fill my days with astrology work. It has been truly exciting but it’s so easy to lose track of balance and end up overdoing something – in particular, overworking and not paying enough attention to the need for conscious down time.

I had a mini health crisis on the day of the full moon, with food poisoning and a lot of purging and lacking energy to do anything else other than rest. The situation then got me thinking, what was I not paying attention to?

Looking into the symbolism of the IC for a talk I gave to the AFAN yesterday was so insightful (again). Growth is remembering, as we spirally move from stretching out of, to falling back into our patterns again and again.

One of my favourite things about astrology is its relationship to cycles. The beauty and reassurance of cycles. Everything has its right time, don’t you worry. This too shall pass, etc.

Gardening can be really useful in that way too, as we interact with land and weather, we see the ciclic motion in which life unfolds. No need for anxiety, no need to rush or resent. There is a right time for everything.

Astrology too, can help us with that, and as I worked on my presentation for yesterday’s talk, the importance of the IC was highlighted as, amongst other things, our place of rest. And by rest here, I don’t mean going to sleep every night. I am thinking of conscious rest, ritualistic down time as opposed to closing our eyes and drifting away.

(nothing wrong with that, we obviously need a good night of sleep in order to heal and recharge daily)

How many of you out there have given importance to down time as much as you do to productivity? Do you place those activities in your calendar as you do with the other ‘more serious’ ones?

After this insightful, even if painful, full moon in Leo (which rules creativity, inner child and self expression) I was reminded to hear and consider those needs more seriously.

Novelty also deserves to have an important place in our busy schedules.

Jupiter, Mars in Capricorn and professional developments

This post is really meant to be a short one.

With the current energy of Mars moving to Capricorn (as well as my progressed Ascendant just on the edge of that very same shift – from Sagittarius to Capricorn), I felt the urge to use my creative energy more wisely and productively. To harness and make something more tangible with it.

Transiting Mars is also very close to my natal Jupiter in the second house, the house where values and resources are found, and at the same time, transiting Jupiter is opposing my Sun-Mercury conjunction in the 10th house of career and visibility.

Anyway, I am loving the new guts that I just found within myself to (finally) start posting videos on my YouTube Channel AND begin a podcast all by myself. Phew, so much new stuff happening to me professionally, I am truly excited and I hope that you enjoy the new format and content.

For now I am planning on keeping the podcast short – 15 or 20 mins max – and mainly focus on reflections and personal thoughts/experiences with astrology coming out every Monday, whereas the videos will be more teaching based. Case studies, classes, tools and tips on how to work with astrology every Tuesday.

I still want to write here more regularly (Thursdays) as well as it is such a passion of mine. (a kind of love and hate one)

On top of all of this, I am beginning to be more hands on with my masters dissertation/research, the reading and planning and applying phase is sort of over for now, and I finally got my questionnaire’s first draft ready and sent to my supervisor! Hurray!

(In fact, I literally just got his positive feedback and I’m moving on to a pilot study – I feel so excited that I could jump and dance around my room, if only I had space to do that…[my room is so tiny])

Smiles.

Hope you are enjoying and making the most of the current Jupiter in Pisces and Mars in Capricorn too.

Mercurial Wanderings under Venus Retrograde…

Venus has turned retrograde with the last full moon in Gemini and has been hovering around Pluto for quite some time now and this post is a reflexive product of it somehow. As usual a mix of personal experience and food for thought which I hope you might find useful, or inspiring, or at least entertaining. 

Mercurial wanderings…

I sometimes find it amusing the way that our society works. Not that I am completely outside of it, of course not. But with the strong Aquarian, Uranian, 11th house and out of bounds emphasis in my natal chart, I confess that it feels like I am ‘out of bounds’ myself most of the time. I don’t think I always fully understand the logic behind some of our taken for granted agreements. 

I see a powerfully strong Capricorn theme when it comes to work ethics, productivity, goals, and visions of success. Ambition is very high rated, material gratification too. But I am also especially thinking about the idea of ‘professionalism’ here. 

When did we stop valuing humanness and buying into this concept that absolute detachment equals a more ‘professional’ and capable approach? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for ethics, in a deeper sense, I would say. But the coldness that usually accompanies the generally accepted ‘professionalism’ really hugs me, no, I mean bugs me. 

Another thing that comes to mind is how value is attributed to money and how much not having money has a detrimental effect on self-esteem. It is difficult to value yourself if not having enough money prevents you from having a voice, from making choices and being considered important by other members of society. 

As my secondary progressed ascendant slowly transitions from Sagittarius into Capricorn (it has already made the shift in Solar Arc direction last year), the more I see myself valuing professionalism and the material realm without losing sight of some of the questions stated above. I have most of the time considered myself a freedom loving and informal type of person – always hated the hypocrisy that sometimes being ‘professional’ makes you comply with.

But now I see myself getting increasingly tired of the hippish approach to life and really feeling the need to gather all my professional experience (which by now is kind of considerable as I’m no spring chick anymore…) and put it into one place. Have a brand – (did I really say that?!) – and make a proper income (whatever that means) solo from astrology work. Get myself deeply involved with the potential productivity, which is quite vast considering the possibilities that the internet and digital era offers us.   

You see, these words seem like a great example of what we could be doing during this cycle of retrogradation from Venus in Capricorn. Ask ourselves where we are going and if that place is truly aligned with our core values. I would also say, as I think about the shift that my progressed ascendant seems to be reflecting, this could be a great time for catching up with your shifting values too. What important and major themes in your life are slowly fading and losing their grip on you now? How aligned are you with your natural changes and the resulting new-born values within it? 

Recently, while I was trying to relax and enjoy the holiday season, I decided to reread my last journal – another great thing to do during one of the fast-moving planets’ cycles of retrogradation. It can be wonderfully insightful to be able to see your process and how (surprisingly) congruent it usually is with how you intuitively feel from moment to moment. 

This time I was surprised to see how much had been written about my search for a fulfilling relationship (another relevant topic for this Venus retrograde period) and how to get there by being clear about what I really want – my natal Venus/Neptune square has been transited by Pluto, whilst progressed Venus conjoined natal Saturn.

There is no healthy relationship without healthy boundaries. 

I can’t remember where I read this, or who mentioned it to me, but it is so true. 

In one entry from my journal, I wrote: 

‘Is this what self-worth looks like? Making difficult choices that puts your mental/emotional/physical wellbeing first? I guess so. His love life is a mess that I don’t want to be part of – There is no role for me there, at least, there isn’t a role that I am willing to play.’    

And later I wrote:

‘It is exciting to be able to be more myself and less of what people want me to be’, with the conclusion that more validation coming from within gives space for authenticity to be truly expressed out there. 

If you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around someone, or if that person does not support your authenticity and shows no appreciation for who you are, always making demeaning comments or trying to change you into what they want you to be, it is a sign that this might not be the right relationship for you. 

Remember, you are nobody else’s dream! (that used to be a little note to myself, natal Venus-Neptune’s things…) 

And these thoughts also remind me of psychotherapist Mark Vernon’s great article ‘What is Love?’ where, amongst other things, the author discuss the idea that love grows through conflict – and that in fact, the secret of a successful relationship many times is in our capacity to deal with disagreement and not necessarily in our capacity to love. In his words ‘an inability to handle conflict is a good predictor of divorce’.

According to Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ‘experience shows us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction’, and for that to happen, we have the obligation (with ourselves, more than anyone else) to know our values! To be (absolutely) aware of the importance and urgency of asking ourselves: what do I value the most in life, partnerships, career, daily choices, etc?! With Venus retrograde this is the perfect time for you to seriously (Capricorn) and deeply (conjoined Pluto) ask yourself these questions, get to the bottom-line of your core values and how much they might be changing. Cath up with them, ponder on them. Befriend them, for in a way, your values define who you are.

Rules with no absolutes

I thought that with the approaching retrogradation of Venus (December 19, the same day of the full moon), I could write a little about planetary dignities and relationships.

As usual, I can’t help but observe astrology playing out through my life and perspective. In fact, one of the things that excites me most about the subject is this: being a kind of lens which enables the extraction of meaning.

Some kind of mining meaning?!

Anyway,

It is commonly said that planets in the opposite sign of its rulership or exaltation are in a sort of ‘bad’ placement (for example when the Moon is in Scorpio or Mars in Taurus etc). I have been reflecting on that these days, particularly on how much I disagree with this idea.

I always go on and on about this with my students and fellow astrologers, that you can never tell how an astrology chart will be played out by its owner.

(I was going to write ‘until you meet them’, but not even then I don’t think.)

Human beings are complex creatures, and we might express the inherent symbolism in our charts differently at different times, or in different ways with different people, etc. There is no absolutes and no way to tell anything ‘for sure’ really.

I believe that astrological symbols are best used (when reading a person’s chart) as a way to brainstorm potential meaning rather than narrowing down into absolutes.

So here is an example from my experience to express my point.

Not long ago I was going out with someone who had natal Mars in Scorpio, a planet considered very powerfully placed in the sign of its rulership. That Mars did conjoin Pluto, that is true, but other than that, it only aspected Venus and Sun by sextile, so not massively debilitated.

Anyway, the individual in question did not have an ‘accomplished life’ in a traditional sense, did not harness his discipline (although being a Capricorn Sun as well!) and his trajectory was also somewhat chaotic (perhaps having his chart ruler conjoined Neptune had its influence here too).

The second individual I would like to mention had natal Mars in Cancer, the sign of its fall. This position has a bad rap and there is usually plenty of stories about passive aggression, drama, lack of direction in life, etc. Well, well, well, the man in question happens to have a lot of drive and ambition, had actually accomplished a lot professionally and, on top of that, had a very assertive and direct energy about him.

I truly admired and enjoyed the energy of that Mars in Cancer – assertive in a sensitive and receptive way rather than the coarseness and explosive anger I saw in the Mars in Scorpio person. Would that be true of every Mars in Scorpio or Mars in Cancer individuals? Obviously not.

Personal responsibility and accountability, when it comes to growth and emotional intelligence, still the main thing – much more than planets in exaltation or rulership or detriment.

This is just a simple and small example of how we are better off not making assumptions based on certain placements – the chart and the person that holds it need to be seen in its totality as much as possible. Even through our inevitably limited eyesight… if at least we can be aware of it…

Quick catch up and Composite charts

I am sitting at my new desk now and, although tired, feels great.

Since I came back from my (extended) time spent in Brazil I have been leading a nomadic life, again.

The difference this time though, reflected by my solar arc ascendant (plus progressed Mars) shifting from Sag to Capricorn, is that I was not feeling the adventurous spirit anymore. I was rather looking forward to moving to the right home so I can focus on work and my masters’ thesis!

All I want is to work, be productive, and take my life more seriously than before.

I do not want to waste time anymore with basics like constant moving from place to place, or shopping for food and getting acquainted with yet another kitchen, or trying to find something to wear inside my suitcase.

No.

Last Thursday I moved into my new home in London and I feel truly grateful as I also seem to have found a nice little community – the people I am sharing the house with are friendly and funny and I feel surprisingly at ease around them already.

(Transiting Jupiter is conjoined my Progressed Moon in Aquarius in the 4th house!)

As I begin to catch up with all the big (and the little) important things surrounding settling down, I start to shift my awareness back to astrological work. Slowly I can concentrate again.

My next webinar is planed for mid October (I might have to postpone the date as I haven’t had time to advertise it properly) and it will be about midpoint composite charts.

I love composite charts!

Relationship astrology was one of the things that really got me hooked into astrology many years ago. I was thrilled to discover clues and the opportunity to deepen my understanding of something so profoundly complex like love relationships. (by love, I also mean family ties, friendships, etc).

It fascinates me how much the midway between both people’s Sun, Moon, etc, can be surprisingly revealing about the dynamics of the relationship itself, and more importantly, how the relationship potentially affects each person individually.

For instance I had a relationship with somebody that the composite Sun was right on my natal Venus. It was really obvious how much of a Venusian character I would become every time we were hanging out. I felt really attractive and prone to celebrate my femininity. The relationship’s vital energy and purpose (the Sun) was putting the spot light on that point in my natal chart. It almost felt like I became Venus herself, the goddess of love and beauty, every time I was around that person, even long after we broke up.

A few years later, I had a relationship with somebody that the composite Sun would be right on my natal Saturn and the experience was entirely different, as one would expect. It was so clear how different the whole thing felt! Most of the time I would feel defensive and protective of myself, having a tremendous resistance to relax and surrender. And the funny thing is, I really liked that person.

Strange as it seems, and with all the mystery that still surrounds the why/how or when people get together, composite charts and astrological symbolism in general can be helpful to give us insight into the magic of relating. Insights into who we are becoming and what is valuable to us in that moment.

It is important not to try and impose astrological interpretations instead of looking within and checking in with yourself, but the food for thought is almost always welcome.

And I write these words as a reminder to myself: use it wisely!

Musings on the IC, home and heart.

I received an invitation from the AFAN to give an astrology masterclass in February. I was thrilled to receive it, as even though this moment feels very ungrounded to me (I guess for the last 7 years?!), I am still progressing in my work. Astrology is definitely one of my passions in life.

As I wondered about a potential topic for discussion, I had to check in with myself and ponder on what themes are important to me at this point. (I can only research or talk about something that truly resonates with me in the moment)

Where did I get so far? The IC! I find the IC such an important point in the chart, the most hidden and private, but also where we connect with our soul. And with psychology being the study of the psyche, or the soul, I realised how much this topic really interests me.

My IC is in Aquarius, I have long noticed a strong resonance with the detachment and coolness of Aquarians as a sort of homecoming to me. Leave me alone and I feel at home with you…or sometimes sharing a sort of silent presence, togetherness and spaciousness combined. There is something about the cool friendliness of Aquarius and its quiet acceptance that I find most nurturing. The odd and weird is familiar and nourishing to me. Friends are family. (I guess this also resonates with my Moon in the 11th and in the Aquarian decan! Whatever is truly important, it will be repeated in the astrology chart over and over again).

But what about the IC? The place of soul making and rest, where we go back to recharge. The place also where we come from, where our roots are. The beginning and the end – like the ouroboros. The IC is where we eat our own tale as well, the promise of completion. Where we come from and where we are heading to at the same time.

Apparently, according to astrowiki, Hellenistic astrologers considered the IC ‘the home of the underworld’. This invokes such powerful imagery for me. Our ancestral line is below us in the IC, and at the same time, what sustains us is down there too.

Polly Wallace wrote that ‘The IC, the undersky, is reflected by invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment. The MC, the middle of the heavens, flourishes out into a visible canopy that reaches for the sky.’ I have natal Sun and Mercury in the 10th house, the house related to the MC, and I have been on a mission, for most of my life, to try and reach for the sky. It has been quite a recent realisation, as Saturn transits my IC (and my progressed moon also makes its way through the natal 4th house) that without having a solid foundation and connection with a sense of home in here (pointing at my chest) not much can come to fruition.

I then wonder about the phrase ‘home is where the heart is’ – I noticed myself coming across that so many times since Pluto transited my natal moon and I started my journey searching for home. Since I left my home in London back in 2015 I haven’t been able to truly settle anywhere for long enough. Anxious feelings always get the best of me and moving has become the rule…no bond can be developed long enough or a sense of belonging somewhere. Then I wonder, is home really where the heart is? Because I sure struggle to connect with ‘invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment’ in the constant disruptive pattern I find myself in.

Astrologer Dawn Bodrogi (if you haven’t checked her blog yet, is one of my favourites!) said: ‘the IC contains the consciousness roots of the psyche which must be mined by the MC in order for there to be a creative flow between ‘in here’ and ‘out there’. We can only create with the material within us, and the IC is representative of that material.’  So according to her, we do need to be in touch with our IC in order to have something to offer, in order to have a sense of collective role.

Another engaging, inspiring and profound account of the IC was written by astrologer Anne Whitaker, particularly on how having an outer planet transit to your IC might manifest as deep change within and without as well.

I have experienced Uranus transiting my IC in 1998-1999 and I remember that around that time my mother found a new boyfriend – her and my dad tried to stay together for many years in a very passionate but turbulent relationship full of betrayal and jealousy and feelings. That was a shift, and although she kept this new relationship a secret from my father, things were never the same again. (those years were also when she began to go out clubbing – I believe that was part of my mother’s midlife crisis).

After that, Neptune crossed my IC in 2003 when I was 18 years old. That was the year I entered university to study History, became a sort of adult (at least that was how I was feeling back then, little did I know!) But also, and specially, this is the year that my brother moved to London with his Austrian girlfriend at the time. A year earlier he had gone to Australia to learn English and, up to that point in 2003, I was still thinking that he would be back eventually and life would keep on as it always was. So that was definitely a huge change for me, suddenly I became a sort of ‘single child’ for the following five years, until I moved to London myself and joined my brother in the international life. Home was never the same after those two transits, that’s for sure.

But something else has been gained, and for me, being of such tender age when that happened, it was also about being initiated into adulthood somehow. Realising that things can change in profound and irreversible ways was part of my experience – home, which used to always seem so unchangeable and secure, was transformed for good as I grew in awareness. I was never going to be the same either.

Perhaps our sense of self is very much buried in the IC, intertwined with it. And if, astrologically, home is where the IC is, then the heart must be somewhere around there too…