Saturnian Quarantine, times of change!

I’ve been back in the UK for the past 5 days and things here (regarding the corona virus) are more heated than it was in Brazil when I left (apparently the panic is beginning to catch up there too).

My friend has left to Brazil and I’ve decided to live in Brighton, a small town on the beach 50 minutes by train from London. Im currently staying at his bedroom until the girls in the bedroom next door (which is meant to be mine) are able to travel (they were planning to go to USA and Spain, both have their boarders shut at the moment).

In moments like this I think of what Liz Greene said about the outer planets talking about collective movements of change related to survival and how much we individuals have little to say regarding that. Some things are beyond our control and we would do good in keeping our peace and mental health in any way that works for us. Meditation, prayer, drawing, painting, dancing, jogging… you name it. Whatever works!

This is actually what I wanted to write about in here. We are in a situation where a quarantine is somehow ‘forced’ upon us, take that as an opportunity to go back to yourself. To reflect upon your life, your choices, your values and who you are in the most authentic way. Who are you? What do you truly need? How can you best contribute with the transformation that we (collectively) and the world seems to be going through?

Jupiter and Mars joining in the conjunction of Pluto and Saturn in Capricorn seems to be reflecting this ’emergency crisis’ in the forefront and I feel this to be symbolising what has been going on in the last few years, a big political and economic crisis. It seems like we are hitting a point where we cannot ignore what is going on anymore. The structures that organize our society are purging and in need for massive transformation.

How can we contribute in this process?

This is one of the questions that we could ask ourselves during the quarantine. What would we like to see more in the world? It’s another one.

By the end of the year Saturn and Jupiter will conjoin in Aquarius marking the beginning of a long cycle in the air element (it will be a change from earth to air) and a 20 year cycle focusing in the aquarian archetype.

Aquarius at best connects with humanitarianism, how individuals can best contribute with the group, progress in a digital sense and acceleration of time (more?). As Jessica Murray said, we will be moving from materialism to idealism.

How is the best way that we, as individuals, can take responsibility in this process?

I think that the answers to some of these big questions could come up as we take advantage of this quarantine to do some soul searching rather than wallow in fear and panic.

What kind of society would you like to see manifesting, starting from your neighbourhood?!

Reflections in the darkness

(Written last night)

There was a thunderstorm here earlier today and we are still out of electricity, it has probably been around 5 hours and a half already (already?) and time moves very slow. These words just made me think about the energy reflected by the symbolism of Uranus, which is usually linked to electricity and lightning bolt speed insights.

Uranus and boredom don’t go very well, in my vision.

Interesting to see myself without all of these gadgets that electric power enables us to have on our daily life, our daily routines. How much of my experience of reality changes, how much more presence can I feel versus how much more boredom? Or do I feel as much boredom in my daily life but just have a myriad of different options of gadgets that serves best as a distraction for myself and, at the same time, a distraction from myself?

For now, I still have my laptop, though with only 20 per cent of battery, so a few more ‘not sure how many minutes’ moments for me, and I just caught myself writing this and moving my thoughts again to ‘when will the electricity finally come back’?

It’s helpless.

But another interesting idea that just came to my mind is observing how much more limited having a laptop without wifi is. What really is the internet? This blob of connections with a massive capacity for keeping information, sort of like a giant invisible brain that forms and keeps connections. Infinite connections. Infinite combinations and possibilities?

And then there is me here, disconnected. But I somehow hear the sounds of my neighbours more clearly, and the children laughing at a distance, I think they might be playing on the street? Sounds like they’re having fun. There is electricity on that side though and I wonder if the laughter is caused by a distraction or by more presence in playful games. Sounds like they’re running.

And I listen. And I also hear my thoughts, and my feelings seem to be a little louder by candlelight. I’m not really sure.

Coming back to what perhaps my first idea in writing this piece was on and the relationship to astrology and some material that I’ve been recently reading on ‘Deep Ecology’. I read a very interesting paper where the author critically discusses the relationship between ‘Social justice’, ‘Mysticism’ and ‘Deep Ecology’ and different possible combinations between the three. For example, sometimes criticising mysticism and at other times arguing that the feeling underlining mystical experiences is the same feeling described by Deep Ecology and is a requirement for a change of paradigm powerful enough to promote the social changes we are so much in need for. (or is this the idealism of Uranus speaking through me here?)

I excitedly ask myself if astrology can promote a mystical experience by reconnecting us with the cosmos and the sense of unity which always seems to be importantly present in the description of these kinds of experiences. Maybe I will pursue this question in my dissertation.

Anyway, my insight is that this year of 2020 seems to be an important one regarding ecology and collective change especially reflected by Saturn and Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius that will happen later on this year. And how can we make these necessary changes without changing ourselves first? Impossible I believe.

How can we become greener in our psyches? And I don’t mean here becoming greener by only cutting down your consume of meat or plastic, although these changes on routine and priorities are also an important part of the process. I mean doing the inner work at the same time. Changing our old patterns of thinking and behaviour, becoming more conscious and elevated in our self-awareness and relationship to each other and to the world around us.

And how is that process going for you?

Only 15 per cent of battery left for me and still no sign of electricity. Dogs are now barking in the background. And I listen.

Embodying the planets

Im currently writing a research project for the MA about the outsider’s perspective of astrology with a target group that came to ASHA for a training course on Holistic Education.

My search for literature review on Holistic Education turned out to be quite inspiring. Im finding many of its themes really interesting, particularly the idea that knowledge could and should be experienced through different channels, not only through the mind.

In traditional/formal sets, education is mainly connected with thinking and developing logic, but we also have our emotional bodies, our spiritual bodies as well as our physical bodies!

This quote from one of the papers I’ve read for my project summarises really well:

‘Education is longing for a deeper more connected, more inclusive, and more aware way of knowing. One that connects heart and hand and head and does not split knowledge into dualities of thought and being, mind and body, emotion and intellect, but resonates with a wholeness and fulness that engages every part of one’s being.’

With that in mind, yesterday, with the help of a lovely actress that has been coming to ASHA for a while now, I gave a session on embodied astrology to the group of EVS volunteers. I have been teaching them astrology for a while but it was the first time that I dared coming out of my comfort zone of brainy virgoan lectures into the fluidity of performance and feeling the knowledge.

The result was really positive!

I’ve been interested in experiential astrology for a long time but did not have the courage to experiment with it.

We worked with both the Sun and the Moon yesterday and after incorporating each we had a little chat and discussion about how that would personally manifest for each one of us by bringing the qualities of the star signs in, but also, a discussion about how it felt to embody each luminary.

It was very powerful and enlightening as another layer of understanding was added to our previous discussions. Even to me, who has been studying and reading charts for a number of years, it was quite mind blowing to play the planets like that.

At the end of our session I was really excited and thinking about eventually experimenting with a constellation exercise involving someone’s astrology chart, with each participant playing one of the planets of that particular chart.

I have heard of that before, I wonder if any of you have heard or experimented with it before?! Any experiences, tips or insights to share?  🙂

Relationship Anarchy and the next Full Moon

Today’s first quarter of the Moon (in Gemini) got me curious about the coming full Moon on  21 of March at 0 degrees Libra.

If we consider the full Moon as the continuation and outcome of the New Moon, it will have something to do with the feelings of last week’s Pisces New Moon, conjunct Neptune, with Mercury retrograde in Pisces and Uranus movement into Taurus. Last week was quite emotionally challenging in the community I live. People seemed to be extra sensitive to each others jokes and presence in general, with conflict arising between them more openly.

My period, which has been aligned with the New Moon for a few years now, came couple of days after and my level of sensitivity was very heightened as well. Something touched me very profoundly, awakening a strong sense of empathy and compassion. This all sounds very piscean/neptunian indeed, but I can’t keep my mind off Uranus moving into Taurus permanently (that is, for the next 7 years). The contrast between the two symbols, Taurus standing for stability and endurance and Uranus representing sudden changes, radical changes.

I have the feeling that the emotional atmosphere here also had something to do with people intuiting the big changes that are bound to happen (there are many members of the community with Venus in Scorpio, Ascendant in Scorpio and important planets in Taurus).

The most positive imagery for Uranus in Taurus that I think of right now is that of awakening (Uranus) inner resources and self-reliance (Taurus). We must somehow find ways of expressing our individual selves in a more authentic way within our relationships. Whichever relationship that has its foundations on wobbly, insecure and codependent fashion will be challenged during this period, big time.

Back to the full Moon then…

It will be taking place at 0 degrees of the Libra/Aries axis, the axis of relationships. Once more I feel the theme of authenticity within relationships ringing strongly. The planet ruling the full Moon is Venus which will be at 23 degrees Aquarius forming an exact square to the planet ruling the Sun, Mars, at 23 degrees Taurus. Give and take will be a major theme and challenge during this Full Moon.

But I have also observed that, on the day of the Full Moon, Venus forms a sextile to Jupiter in Sagittarius, and Mars a trine to Pluto in Capricorn. I feel that this could be symbolising also the old conflict between freedom and commitment, an aquarian/sagittarian versus taurean/capricornian difference in style of relating.

Aquarius and Sagittarius are known as the most freedom loving signs of the zodiac, and the earth signs (Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo) are known for their need for stability and commitment in relationships.

So Im already giving the heads up here for the potential intense emotional release of the coming Full Moon on 21 of March. I feel that we better start being more conscious about the need for space, freedom and friendship within our committed relationships. We better be aware of our need for individual autonomy and commitment, and look for ways of negotiating and balancing them out.

Transit after transit…

Mercury is retrograde at 13 degrees Sagittarius, very close to make a conjunction to my natal Uranus/Mars in the first house and a lot of the current theme for me has been connected with personal freedom and individuation.

I believe that Jupiter in the early degrees of Sagittarius is also echoing this message.

During this last period of Venus moving retrograde I have been questioning and feeling a strong urge to find more space within my relationship. (with the times when Venus opposed Uranus as a peak of realisation about this need)

Now what is strongly coming up to me is not only the need for personal freedom, but also lots of questions about our conditioning when it comes to relating with one another.

Last week we had a training course on life coaching and the group of people that came here for the training were amazing. I connected with many of them in such a beautiful way. The dynamic between the group reminded me of one of those conscious summer festivals that I used to go when Pluto was transiting my natal Moon.

It felt like home!

In the last night we did an angel walk together (basically walking in a corridor of people whispering beautiful messages into your ears) and had a very long group cuddle for at least an hour. My heart was so open and the love I felt was so strong that it felt like being high on drugs.

I was in such a powerful and beautiful state that even saying no and asserting myself became easy and loving as well. I felt empowered.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the general conditioning of being supposed to love only one person, or being protective and caring only towards family members, etc. Why is that? Why can we not allow love to flow and increase itself by giving it freely?

Why are we not allowing love to ebb and flow organically?

I have read once that love is the only thing that does not work mathematically in the way we know, the more you give the more you have to give. You never run out of it. (talking about unconditional love here)

Then I thought that if my personal experience of transiting Pluto to my Moon is connected with my role in the collective change that we are going through, my new sense of security within is what will enable me to love more and to help breaking old patterns that do not foster growth in positive ways.

I would really like to find new ways of relating, with more authenticity and the willingness to be vulnerable and communicate openly.

..”unconditional cosmic acceptance”..

I am preparing a little introductory talk that I will be giving tonight to the 24 Indian girls that are staying with us for 3 weeks. They are attending to a program on becoming “peace ambassadors” the we offer here where Im currently living and working.

While I was printing their charts I’ve noticed that more than half of the girls have either Moon in Scorpio or the Moon forming a major aspect to Pluto. Some of them that don’t, have either Pluto on the angles or other personal planets in Scorpio.

Im thinking that it is interesting to see such a plutonic signature in a group of young Indian women that are here to learn different skills to bring back to where they come from in order to promote positive change.

Interestingly, although I am off from work officially, today one of the trustees came for lunch and she was brought into my house by the founder of this organisation to have a quick look on something.  When she met me she was told that Im an astrologer and, as soon as she heard that, she placed the palm of her hand right up into my nose asking me what I see.

As I explained her I didn’t read palms she impatiently asked me what do I do then. When I mentioned astrology charts based on the date and time of birth she just quickly told me her birthday and the hour of her birth. I then went on explaining that I actually needed a computer program and it would take a little time for preparing the interpretation…

Out off politeness I wrote down her details and the two other women that showed up with her also wrote down their details on my book. The situation made me chuckle inside for a few different reasons, but the main one was the synchronicity between what happened today and all the questions I’ve been asking myself while reading “The Astrologer, the Counsellor and the Priest” written by Liz Greene (the one I mentioned on my last post).

In the beginning of this seminar she speaks about the archetypes that might be unconsciously played out by the astrologer and one of them is Prometheus and stealing fire from the gods. Liz says that like in the myth, we also have to be punished, and she believes that this might be in the root of many common struggles that astrologers usually have. The lack of material wealth, the underlying feeling of guilt that prevents us from charging a proper price for our work or to value our time, and the feeling of loneliness and separation from society. Most people don’t get what it is that we do!

The situation today was the manifestation of some of these symptoms, the women barging in and expecting me to just freely give my time, the palm thing, the lack of boundaries and respect for my professionalism?

Anyway I haven’t got much time left to finish this post so I would like to end with a quote from the same book I’ve been talking about.

Liz Greene is speaking about what we do as astrologers (definitely not necessarily the only definition, but interesting food for thought) :

“Much of what we do for the client has nothing to do with the specific configurations we are looking at, but rather, with the fact that the chart, and ultimately God or the gods through the patterns of the chart, affirm the right of that person to be what he or she is. In this sense the astrologer  acts as intermediary for the cosmos, affirming the individual’s identity regardless of parental expectations imposed on it. A chart reading can be a revelation of unconditional cosmic acceptance.”

 

Saturn stabilising energy

I have been meaning to come back here for quite a while but just didn’t manage.

In the last month I’ve developed a taste for the magazine “Womankind” (amazingly beautiful and ad free, full of really interesting articles and interviews), continued reading books and worked on developing my new routine in the community Im living and working since February this year.

Since Pluto has made the last square to my natal Moon things seem to have settled within and without.

My boyfriend also got a job as a cook and has moved here with me since around March. We’ve met in July 2016, when Pluto was making the third or forth square to my Moon, and we have been developing what for me is the most authentic, challenging and rewarding partnership that I’ve ever had.

Since Pluto moved from the 2nd to the 3rd house in my chart issues connected with money and self sufficiency are slowly fading. I feel secure and quite solid materially speaking, which is a very different place to be compared to the last 6 years of insecurity and little money to spend.

I can buy things now. I can also invest money in education or travels if I wish to do so. (Jupiter is placed in the second house in my horoscope, can you tell?)

It is very interesting to observe how feelings and themes are constantly shifting in a synchronous dance with the cosmos.

Going from these long lasting years of emotional breakdown and a tragic, and intense, feeling of insecurity and death to regained confidence and solidity.

From transiting Pluto square natal Moon to transiting Saturn trine natal Mercury and Sun (with Uranus heading towards a trine to those natal planets as well).

I feel strong and capable. I also see recognition being bestowed upon myself in the community and at work. Me and my boyfriend have been offered a little wonderful house in the grounds where we work. We are finally going to have the chance to live on our own within the community.

And the house is amazing, with beautiful big windows facing the forest.

We move in less than a month.

Life has a funny way of developing if we dare allowing it enough space to do so.

Now in the last few days I’ve been contemplating applying for a master in cultural astronomy and astrology. I somehow feel that this could be a wonderful way of expressing these supportive and earthy transits that I am going through.

At my job I also have the opportunity for writing projects for training courses and I feel that this master course will perhaps be giving me much needed food for thought and inspiration.

I had my eye on this master degree for a while but was put off by my lack of stability and material security. How can I concentrate and write essays when Im not sure if I can pay the rent in the end of the month?

 

 

Splits in the psyche

Im almost all settled down in my new home in the Forest of Dean.

It’s interesting to see that, albeit somewhat painful, the process of moving really keep us in check with how much we have accumulated in our lives.

I don’t mean only material stuff but also stories and feelings…

Every time I move (and I have been moving quite a lot, compared to my childhood, in the last 10 years) I always make that a ritual for getting in touch with my deeper self.

The unchanging self that keeps me going.

I do that through reading passages of my (many) journals while I put them in a box to take with me.

Even though the rational-analytical in me is very strong, I can also sense a powerful emotional undercurrent happening in the process.

With many of my personal planets in Mutable signs I see changes as an important and necessary part of life. But in a strange way they also trigger a feeling of getting closer to death.

I can see my Ascendant in Scorpio playing its part in how I initiate things.

Death and grief are mixed up with the joy and excitement that guided me in making the decision to change in first place…

Mutable signs versus fixed signs in the astrological chart can reflect one of the potential splits in our psyche.

And Im writing this post in an attempt to give voice and integrate these two distinct sides in me.

 

In between worlds

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.

 

Full Moon highlights

We just had a full moon in Cancer on the 1 of January and will be having another one on the 31.

The first one was mildly intense for me. I had my brother and 2 other old friends from school staying over at my place for a few days. It was really nice to have them around and we did have fun.

But I also caught myself worrying about everyone else’s wellbeing and feeling stressed out most of the time.

It is interesting to see how during a full moon things get really heightened depending on what gets activated in your natal chart. Whatever issue is being transformed in a longer process (reflected by a long term transit) gets very much under the spotlight in some kind of exaggerated form if activated by the full moon.

During the last few days I could really see the people pleaser in me (reflected by my moon in Libra) and how difficult it was to assert myself and my needs.

They went back to London couple of days ago and Im still recovering and indulging myself in my own company, aware that on the 31 of January there will be a full moon eclipse exactly conjunct my MC/IC axis.

Financial struggles and perhaps some inflexibility on my part seem to be pushing me to move again.

(Its funny to see that even though I have lots of mutability in my chart and a natural willingness to adapt, having the ruler of the 6th house conjunct Uranus in the first house reflects a side of myself that is very stubborn and peculiar when it comes to daily job and routine…)

I might be getting a job at a community in the Forest of Dean, still waiting to hear from them.

And here we perhaps come full circle.

With the starting point reflected by Pluto transiting my Moon in early 2015 and me leaving my London life behind in search for a more meaningful way to live.

That does not mean that I won’t be working on my astrological practice anymore.

But I can see big changes heading my way, highlighted by the coming full moon eclipse.