Jet legged

Is now 3:15 in the morning in Thailand and I’m super jet legged and having troubles to sleep. Is also hot as hell and I guess I’m not used to these temperatures anymore. It doesn’t feel necessarily bad, is just weird. I’m trying to feel my way, sort of trying to recognise how my energy works here so I can consciously align myself.

When I woke up around 11pm thinking that it was the day after already I decided to go to the backyard of the hostel to get some fresh air. Tired and confused I noticed that an anxious feeling was  growing inside my chest.

In the beginning of my travels I had a goal that was still much too far, or so it seemed. It was keeping me going, it was like the promised land or something like that. And so I caught myself feeling insecure now that I have almost arrived at my destination (I haven’t got to the island I wanna go to yet).

But then something happened, I saw this french guy curled up on his own with people talking to him and trying to help because he wasn’t feeling well.  I think he had thrown up and stuff like that. Anyways, I felt compelled to do something to help him so I offered  and gave him some Reiki.

At the end he was feeling much better and the situation, and I guess channeling Reiki as well, has also helped me to achieve yet another level of clarity about this trip and my path. My anxious feeling have dissolved into a certainty that this is the moment to take spirituality more seriously. Surrendering my ego to a much bigger process of becoming who I truly am is paramount now. Money, travel bureaucracy and etc are just details from now on. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

I think that this hot weather and the energies in this country are going to play a strong part in my alchemical process.

(And Pluto is approaching to make a second exact square to my natal moon in Libra! I really need to write a post only on this topic actually.) Next time.

Symbolifed

Excuse me the weird tittle for this post, but yesterday I’ve had one of the most interesting synchronicity here in Istanbul regarding how astrological symbols pervades real life. This is actually one of the themes that truly fascinates me about astrology, how the symbols come out, how the archetypal energy gets manifested.

Since I’ve had a phase of exploring one night stands searching for myself I started to get curious about what astrology could speak in terms of attraction in each specific case. For instance we know that interaspects between Mars and Venus usually light up a spark between two people. But I wanted more than that, I wanted to see and understand how I feel the different nuances between each attraction and connection I would have with someone. It has been quite a fascinating journey and I definitely should write some more stuff about that.

But anyways, yesterday I decided to go out on a date with myself. It was one of these days that I just crave my own company. And so I went in search of a bookshop that would sell books in English.

As I was walking in the street I saw this guy sitting on a step listening to a turkish old man playing the flute. I don’t really know how to explain, but I just felt this urge to sit down beside him and have a chat. I didn’t really know exactly why as I didn’t really fancy him or anything like that. But because I’m making sure that I connect more and more with my instincts and wild self I simply turned around and sat beside him asking if he speaks English. He was surprised and asked me if I was from Turkey and was even more surprised to find out that I’m from Brazil because so was he. We went for coffee and shared many stories and feelings. After couple of hours we said good bye and when I got back I was curious to see the synastry or anything that could enlighten me about that sudden attraction. I was searching for meanings, like I usually do. Didn’t find anything in the synastry, so decided to check his progressions and found out that his progressed chart at the moment is exactly the day of my birthday. So most of the planets of his progressed chart is in the same degree and configuration of my birth chart. I don’t know what my conclusions are about this happening, but that made me think a lot about vibration and resonating yet from another perspective. Were we just meant to be some kind of mirror, but very literally at this point in time, to each other for couple of hours in such apparently random situation?

Turkish delight

The winds of change are blowing hot in Istanbul. I just went for a walk and saw many plastic bags floating around the sky like American Beauty. There is a lovely feeling of peaceful freedom inside my chest and is almost like I can taste the changing air with my lungs.

We made it, all the way from Amsterdam only hitchhiking. 69 days are gone and I feel different. I feel closer to myself.

Moon in Aries has hooked up with Uranus  and both are opposing Venus in Libra, which is making a conjunction with my natal Moon right now.

I somehow feel the electricity of uranian energy coming back to me. With a strong sense of wakefulness and presence I can almost see from inside a different twinkle in my eye.

I’m leaving Europe after been here for almost 8 years and that old sense of home is once again lost. But, from the distance, I can already see a tiny little home that is newly being born within …

Back on track (?)

I’m trying to get back on track with my writings now. I haven’t posted anything for over a month and there is so much that has happened really, as you all can expect. We did manage to hitchhike all the way from Bavaria to Komotini in Greece,  where we currently are. We haven’t spent a penny on transport or accommodation, which is grand, but mostly what is truly worthy is the adventure and the amount of stories that I’ve been collecting for the past two months. I obviously won’t be able to write them all down at once here, but hopefully if I manage cultivating a little discipline and patience I can slowly feed this blog with some of them.

Talking about patience and discipline, Saturn is now crossing over my natal Mars-Uranus conjunction and I thought I would die of frustration and boredom. We’ve been at this place just outside of Komotini for about 2 weeks now and there isn’t much to do around here. The guys here are great people, truly nice and giving, but if I spend another month here I would either literally die of boredom or write a whole book. Yes, I’ve been writing a lot lately, which is great I guess. Also spending a lot of time on my own company, which I was craving so much after being full on with my traveling companion for the whole time we’ve travelled. As time goes by I become more and more aware of my need for space and solitude.

I’m also getting ready for the next stage of this trip, flying to Thailand. In two days we are hitching to Istanbul (hopefully not taking longer than 1 day to get there!) and back to having some adventure in my veins. Im truly looking forward.

Holy cows

Ashram/Hare Krishna community in Bavaria and Mars opposing Neptune in the sky. I guess this has been an interesting combination for me, especially because some of my personal planets are being picked up by this transit. I’ve been thinking about all of the religious rules and pondering how much discipline is required in order to achieve some sort of spiritual understanding versus the danger of stiffing up too much of our natural need for individual freedom. I don’t really have any answer yet, but I guess that the atmosphere here and my journey are being conducive to what this Neptune transiting is reflecting now.

One thing that I can say is that some of the beliefs here doesn’t please me very much (or rather doesn’t resonate with me?), like sex only after marriage or women in their period not being allowed to touch the food. My Uranic side can’t really take these kind of things. Too many rules and my rebellious side gets stirred up…

Following the road..

Spending our last night in Mainz in Germany, such a nice city. It really reminded me of Bristol. Maybe because we were hanging out with some activists that go skipping regularly. I’m not sure. We went to a very cool party with Madalena’s friend in what used to be a squat. I felt happy and in a partying mood like I haven’t felt in a while. So many cool stuff happening at the same time. I truly like german people.

Marco, our previous host (such a lovely, amazing man), drove us down near Frankfurt and drop us off at a petrol station on the highway. We got our card board sign out and waited for around an hour until someone finally spoke to us. It was so clear how much stranger people’s behavior get when we are near a big city. People would avoid even to have some eye contact with us. We also noticed lots of posh cars. I don’t think that Frankfurt is a city for me to visit.

Anyways, after some waiting and playing the ukulele, a nice turkish man offered us a ride and dropped us off at the city centre. Very nice of him because his final destination was a few km before Mainz.

Tomorrow we are heading to a little village after Stuttgart. I couldn’t possibly write the name of it right now. But we already have our hitching plan done. We will see what life brings…

Waking up in Germany

Just had my breakfast here in Geseke at our lovely new host’s home. Yesterday we hitched from that little village in Netherlands to here. We had a ride with a lovely german man that brought us all the way here. It was quite special. He came back to pick us up, he couldn’t stop at first because we were standing in such a bad place. It has been quite special to get out into the world and see how many nice people are there. I am also enjoying the sense of adventure and freedom that this kind of trip brings you.

I would also like to state here that the healing centre wasn’t that bad. I did have some powerful healing experiences over there and Im thankful.

We are going to be here for maybe about a week and then probably heading south of Germany. There is an Ashram/community that we want to go to in Bavaria.

Second stop

Here at our second stop and having a laugh with Madalena. Great that we’re both sharing the same ideas about this place that is supposed to be for healing but send volunteers back home if they have too much negative energy instead. The lady here was telling us how extraordinary the healing gardens are and how privileged we are just to be able to walk around them for free (after very strict 8 hours of mainly cleaning jobs?). We are now sitting in the leaving room feeling hungry (dinner is at 5:30pm) but with no access to the food as they lock the fridge and cupboards. A very spiritual practice. Maybe we should try to stop laughing and meditate instead?

Amsterdam…

Here we are in Amsterdam.  We spent most of the day walking around the city and getting wet under the rain. I thought about how much this trip isn’t about tourism. I just could not get myself excited about all of the sightseeing. Everything revolves around spending money, so many stores and cafes and restaurants and silly things to purchase. A bit boring for me at the moment to be honest. But Amsterdam seems to be a great city.

The end of our day was more exciting as we were planing our next step. Tomorrow we are heading north of Netherlands to volunteer in a kind of healing community for about a week. Deciding where we are hitching from and how to get there was the thrill for today.

Then having dinner while Ru shared some of his adventures hitchhiking in Europe was a true delight and inspiration.

One week to go…

This is my last week in London after seven long years.

Saturn, the planet symbolically connected with the process of maturing, has a seven year cycle. I’ve also heard that every seven years our body cells are completely replaced. I truly feel that whatever my mission in London was it has been accomplished. Good to use words like “mission” when Im just about to step into what it feels like a “Hero’s Journey”. Me and a friend are traveling around Europe for couple of months and then heading to Thailand. One way ticket only. Not sure how long we’ll be traveling around Asia. Our plan is to find and live in self sustainable communities on the way.

Yes, I do feel that I might literally shit my pants every now and then. (The classic diarrhea caused by leaving comfort zones behind.) But the dissonance between who I am becoming and the life I had in London only six months ago somehow seems scarier than that. I think I’d rather shit my pants than settle for a life that feels stale.

Curiously, although this trip is about finding myself I already feel a stronger sense of Self… getting ready for the road..