Musings on the IC, home and heart.

I received an invitation from the AFAN to give an astrology masterclass in February. I was thrilled to receive it, as even though this moment feels very ungrounded to me (I guess for the last 7 years?!), I am still progressing in my work. Astrology is definitely one of my passions in life.

As I wondered about a potential topic for discussion, I had to check in with myself and ponder on what themes are important to me at this point. (I can only research or talk about something that truly resonates with me in the moment)

Where did I get so far? The IC! I find the IC such an important point in the chart, the most hidden and private, but also where we connect with our soul. And with psychology being the study of the psyche, or the soul, I realised how much this topic really interests me.

My IC is in Aquarius, I have long noticed a strong resonance with the detachment and coolness of Aquarians as a sort of homecoming to me. Leave me alone and I feel at home with you…or sometimes sharing a sort of silent presence, togetherness and spaciousness combined. There is something about the cool friendliness of Aquarius and its quiet acceptance that I find most nurturing. The odd and weird is familiar and nourishing to me. Friends are family. (I guess this also resonates with my Moon in the 11th and in the Aquarian decan! Whatever is truly important, it will be repeated in the astrology chart over and over again).

But what about the IC? The place of soul making and rest, where we go back to recharge. The place also where we come from, where our roots are. The beginning and the end – like the ouroboros. The IC is where we eat our own tale as well, the promise of completion. Where we come from and where we are heading to at the same time.

Apparently, according to astrowiki, Hellenistic astrologers considered the IC ‘the home of the underworld’. This invokes such powerful imagery for me. Our ancestral line is below us in the IC, and at the same time, what sustains us is down there too.

Polly Wallace wrote that ‘The IC, the undersky, is reflected by invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment. The MC, the middle of the heavens, flourishes out into a visible canopy that reaches for the sky.’ I have natal Sun and Mercury in the 10th house, the house related to the MC, and I have been on a mission, for most of my life, to try and reach for the sky. It has been quite a recent realisation, as Saturn transits my IC (and my progressed moon also makes its way through the natal 4th house) that without having a solid foundation and connection with a sense of home in here (pointing at my chest) not much can come to fruition.

I then wonder about the phrase ‘home is where the heart is’ – I noticed myself coming across that so many times since Pluto transited my natal moon and I started my journey searching for home. Since I left my home in London back in 2015 I haven’t been able to truly settle anywhere for long enough. Anxious feelings always get the best of me and moving has become the rule…no bond can be developed long enough or a sense of belonging somewhere. Then I wonder, is home really where the heart is? Because I sure struggle to connect with ‘invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment’ in the constant disruptive pattern I find myself in.

Astrologer Dawn Bodrogi (if you haven’t checked her blog yet, is one of my favourites!) said: ‘the IC contains the consciousness roots of the psyche which must be mined by the MC in order for there to be a creative flow between ‘in here’ and ‘out there’. We can only create with the material within us, and the IC is representative of that material.’  So according to her, we do need to be in touch with our IC in order to have something to offer, in order to have a sense of collective role.

Another engaging, inspiring and profound account of the IC was written by astrologer Anne Whitaker, particularly on how having an outer planet transit to your IC might manifest as deep change within and without as well.

I have experienced Uranus transiting my IC in 1998-1999 and I remember that around that time my mother found a new boyfriend – her and my dad tried to stay together for many years in a very passionate but turbulent relationship full of betrayal and jealousy and feelings. That was a shift, and although she kept this new relationship a secret from my father, things were never the same again. (those years were also when she began to go out clubbing – I believe that was part of my mother’s midlife crisis).

After that, Neptune crossed my IC in 2003 when I was 18 years old. That was the year I entered university to study History, became a sort of adult (at least that was how I was feeling back then, little did I know!) But also, and specially, this is the year that my brother moved to London with his Austrian girlfriend at the time. A year earlier he had gone to Australia to learn English and, up to that point in 2003, I was still thinking that he would be back eventually and life would keep on as it always was. So that was definitely a huge change for me, suddenly I became a sort of ‘single child’ for the following five years, until I moved to London myself and joined my brother in the international life. Home was never the same after those two transits, that’s for sure.

But something else has been gained, and for me, being of such tender age when that happened, it was also about being initiated into adulthood somehow. Realising that things can change in profound and irreversible ways was part of my experience – home, which used to always seem so unchangeable and secure, was transformed for good as I grew in awareness. I was never going to be the same either.

Perhaps our sense of self is very much buried in the IC, intertwined with it. And if, astrologically, home is where the IC is, then the heart must be somewhere around there too…

A little on the current Saturn-Uranus square

Finally I am coming here to publish my first post since I got my new website. Excitement!

Transiting Saturn square Uranus keeps doing its thing to my MC-IC (plus my natal Saturn) and I can really see the need for coming out into the world in a more authentic and creative way. What is my social role? Also, the question that has been following me for years now, where is home?

In general, when we think about a square between Saturn and Uranus we think about a clash between tradition and progress. From the perspective of mundane astrology this configuration reflects a lot of social unrest for example.

But what does it mean from a more individual perspective?

I think that issues between progress and tradition are playing out within each one of us. The next question to be asked is, are you naturally more of a Saturnian or Uranian character?

Our natal charts will reflect where our preferences are, what kinds of energy we feel more comfortable expressing it. For instance I do have a powerful and prominent Uranus which then relates to how much Saturnian lessons I am having at the moment. I guess that if I had a particular preference for Saturn, Uranus would be prevailing as a transit right now because of its relationship with the unknown in my psyche.

Do you see what I mean?

I’ve heard a lot of people talking about fear as a way to see where your growth is, and a similar principle works here. For instance, if you are more familiar with discipline and structure and tradition, Uranus will be reflecting a time where more balance is needed via exploration, uncertainty and some sort of awakening. On the other hand, if sudden changes, impatience and a low boredom threshold has been the rule, this is the time for you to build a little staying power, patience and discipline.

The midpoint between Uranus and Saturn right now is 28 degrees Pisces – the place where some kind of integration can happen between these two principles is, at best, connected with compassion, empathy and serving a higher source. Pisces as the last sign of the zodiac, and with a natural connection to the 12th house, reflects the place where some transcendence can occur. The place where we intuitively know that there must be more to life than its material and ego driven aspects.

I also just thought that 28 degrees Pisces is the degree of Venus’ exaltation! Another pointer to resolving the conflict through unconditional love, creativity, and the importance of relating. Interdependence pops into my mind now.

If you have natal planets at 28 degrees Pisces, or any of the mutable signs (Virgo, Sagittarius or Gemini), it gives further clue for how you can best integrate the conflict reflect by the Saturn-Uranus current square.

Have you checked where this transit is falling in your natal chart yet?

Another short praise to Saturn

As I prepare myself to go back to the UK I silently watch the build up of anxiety within.

These sure are strange times that we are currently witnessing.

One thing calls my attention as I watch the symbolism of my transits right now – I have transiting Saturn bang on my IC – and I think about the current situation in both my homes, Brazil and the UK. They were both two of the three countries where new variants of COVID were detected, and I can’t avoid but think about my Saturn-IC transit…

None have done really well in responding to the pandemic, with Brazil being obviously the worst amongst the two. I think that the UK is doing much better now and I see my friends sharing some pictures of the beautiful spring and their happiness anticipating the slow coming out of lockdown that they are about to go through. On another hand, I see Brazil getting worse not only with the rising numbers of people getting the virus but also politically.

Everything seems quite messy now and I don’t know if I can see myself truly settling down here ever.

However, I am not in a rush to make a decision about where will definitely be my home.

For now I have my flights booked (wish me luck!) and I will be heading back to England in less than a month if everything goes right.

Saturn transiting my IC is also square my natal Saturn, an important step in Saturn’s cycle – seven years after our Saturn return we are then called to take up the challenge (whichever challenge relates to when you had the return) a little further. For me it has definitely manifested as career decisions, it was around my Saturn return that I decided I wanted to become a professional astrologer and now, during the first square, it really seems like I am reaping some rewards from my hard work.

I not only feel much more confident about my work, but I am also beginning to slowly be recognised in the astrological community. And I haven’t even reached my progressed full moon yet! (this will happen in a few years time, I wonder what will be happening, but have the feeling that it might be corresponding with finishing my masters)

Anyway, the older I get, the more appreciative of Saturn’s symbolism and principle I am. (as we would expect)

The real solidity, the silent hard work, the true confidence (a different kind of confidence from Mars or the Sun I think, somewhat less cocky perhaps).

Gravitas!

I am finding older people much more appealing right now too, enjoying their silent presence, because the older we get (hopefully if we do the work) the less validation from outside is needed. I simply love that feeling!

So people, do not be afraid of Saturn. Instead, take responsibility for yourself, for your process of growth, and you will then see the magic happens…

Jupiter (etc) on the IC

Today there was no thunderstorm.

Instead, just a gentle rain, one of those still somehow illuminated by the sun, some kind of rainbow weather.

As I watched it through my window, eating a piece of freshly cut watermelon I felt a warmth in my chest and smiled thinking to myself: ‘I’m in Brazil’

‘I am Brazil’ or ‘Brazil is me’, probably both.

With Jupiter conjoining my IC in Aquarius to the degree right now, I strangely feel a sense of belonging.

The last full moon was activating my MC-IC and a huge release of emotions happened to me, I had to begin letting go of the UK and the last (almost) 13 years of my life. Another chapter is beginning to unfold, and the pandemic and collective general chaos is affecting my options and the choices I have to make.

In the last few years I went through a Pluto hard transit to my natal Moon and a conscious quest for home sort of began, in the process I went through a lot of purging, moving around and challenging myself, perhaps all in order to discover a new sense of security within. But now it seems that I am closer to having an actual home to put my roots down a little deeper this time.

I am aware that the effects of a Jupiter transit lasts a lot less in comparison to the outer planets’, and for this reason it somehow reflects opportunities that are somewhat more fleeting. Saturn will then make its way backwards and forwards over my IC while Uranus squares it. I know that I need to change how I present myself into the world and I also feel that in order for that to happen I need some solid ground. I need to have a secure space to do my work from.

The amazing thing is, the more I listen to the voices coming from the depths of my IC the more I seem to be thriving in my work. Many people are seeking my services lately, with a few different talks lined up, including a short course I designed introducing Synastry, I am beautifully busy. There is also my masters’ thesis which I am just about to start. My professional dreams seem to be slowly coming true and I’m loving it.

My mind is sharp at the moment.

But for now, I silently eat my watermelons gazing out the window…watching the water nurture my surroundings.

A note on Mars retrograde

I officially moved into my flat on Saturday night and yet I feel strange. The current energies seem to be so heavy that I can almost touch it with my hands.

During the day I felt sad, nostalgic, lonely, irritable, I don’t know what else…

Retrograde Mars in Aries is coming up to square Saturn again, followed by a square to Pluto and Jupiter, all in Capricorn. In addition to that, Mercury in Libra is also coming to an opposition with Mars.

We better brace ourselves!

If you feel angry and frustrated the probability is that you are also picking up on these tense, to say the least, energies. Better not to act out unconsciously. This isn’t the best time to set your boundaries, to tell someone off or to go with road rage.

Be cool, be calm, this should be the mantra!

The best we can do with retrograde planets is to go inwards rather than outwards, is to reassess how we express the archetype reflected. In this case, with Mars, how do we deal with anger? How do we express frustration? What triggers irritation? These are some of the questions that are worth asking ourselves now until the end of November. Ask yourself but try not to take action right now as when the planet moves forward again we tend to regret what we did during its retrogradation period.

Wishing you (me included) all peace, patience and calm as much as possible during the most challenging moments until the energies shift again.

Be well everyone.

New Moon and Venusian things

Happy New Moon everyone!

This one is quite a powerful one personally as it activates my natal Venus (which happens to be in the midpoint of my Sun-Moon, and also square to Neptune-Jupiter).

I actually have been overly aware of everything Venusian, together with my already mentioned eagerness to have a home. In fact, they’re both connected as my natal Moon is ruled by Venus.

Dreaming about having a beautiful home (that’s a good phrase for the Venus-Neptune-Moon combo…) and I guess that it won’t be much longer until I move into my new flat. I am so excited about that, I could scream!

Perhaps this is the beginning of my midlife crisis, me wanting to settle down a bit more and being tired of travelling much. Or maybe that’s my progressed/solar arc ascendant moving to Capricorn. All I wanna do is to have my beautiful base and to work and study. At least for now, that’s how I feel.

Regarding the New Moon Venus stuff, with also lots of trines from the Capricorn transiting planets as well as progressed Venus conjoined my natal Saturn, I feel more pragmatic and rational when it comes to love. At least so it seems.

It’s like I have taken down my rose tinted glasses for a bit and it feels good. My new mantra is: from now on, they will have to EARN (I can hear Saturn here!) my respect, time and attention. No more freebies! No more projecting my worth; validation needs to come from within.

I guess that I will always be a Venus Square Neptune person, but throughout life I believe that we can fine tune our natal aspects into a more refined way of expression. I enjoy the potential for compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love that the Venus-Neptune combo can reflect; and I also love art and beauty.

I am planning to learn how to play the guitar when Neptune opposes my natal Venus in a couple of years; maybe that’s a good way of negotiating with the universe in order not to fall into a massive delusion again and again and again… ? Have you ever ‘negotiated’ challenging transits to difficult points in your natal chart before? How did that go?

Catching Up

Here I go again, in two days I will be flying across the Atlantic once more. I feel like I have to give one step backwards in order to go forwards again; at least that’s how I perceive the current transits activating my MC-IC axis.

I need to have a solid home to work from.

Since I left Brighton almost a month ago I could barely focus and be productive. Feels weird not to be focusing on work after going through 2 months and a half of being busy like never before with my masters and astrological talks/teaching/consultations.

I also did not manage to send my books to my flat in São Paulo because of the COVID situation. Another pandemic postponing of plans… It seems like I will have a solid base, with my belongings in it, only when Saturn will be transiting my IC by conjunction later next year. That’s ok, I have to learn how to be patient. Another Saturn lesson to my Mars-Uranus…

When I bought my tickets to go back to Brazil I thought that Mars retrograde could be a good significator of me going back and redoing what I started when I left, my new base. I am looking forward to start decorating my flat and to have the feeling, for the first time, of finally having a home. Let’s see what happens.

I also currently have transits from Pluto/Saturn/Jupiter to my natal Venus, with progressed Venus almost conjoined natal Saturn, and my values seem to be becoming more visible to me. The coming new Moon is on my natal Venus as well and I plan to make a little ritual to consolidate this process of self possession that I seem to be going through right now.

I think that’s it for now. I hope you are all doing well out there.

Grand Cardinal Cross

As I organise myself to send my boxes to Brazil, I think about the current energies and the full moon in Pisces.

At the exact moment of the full moon there was a grand cross in the sky involving Mars in Aries, Saturn/Pluto/Jupiter in Capricorn, Venus in Cancer and Juno in Libra. What do we commit to, how, and the motivation behind it, might be the theme of this intense month. The grand cross is in cardinal signs and I can imagine plenty of energy being available for us to tap into and problem solve.

Cardinality asks for action; so one way of channeling the intensity is exercising a bit more than usual.

Another thing I was thinking about is the challenge regarding compromise; do we know when to compromise and when not? With Mars stationing to move retrograde soon, we better revisit how we assert ourselves and where resentment might still be present, even without our conscious awareness. Buried anger is another one that might come up in the next few months.  How have you been using your libido? How do you get what you want? Do you know what you want or do you get confused in the middle of everybody else’s wishes? These are some of the questions worth asking ourselves now.

Cardinality also speaks of taking initiative, so I can imagine this grand cross reflecting a big amount of energy compelling us to get out of whichever stagnant situation we’ve got ourselves involved in. The important thing to remember though, with Mars just about to go retrograde, is to rethink our strategies rather than just impulsively create more conflict. Rationality goes a long way with so many tense astrological aspects.

Wishing you all a happy full moon!

On the current Mars’ transits

The last few days have been mental and beyond intense. Somehow I got dragged into a drama that does not have much to do with me, apart from being the friend of one of the persons involved. I don’t really want to get into the details of everything as it isn’t worth it, but I was locked out from my house at 10 in the evening and the shock and absurdity of that situation for me was absolutely maddening. It was traumatising, to say the least, and it made me think about all of the people out there suffering in abusive relationships.

My heart is with you and I hope that you can heal and manage to break out from whichever pattern of hurt and suffering you feel you’re stuck in.

Astrologers know and have been talking about the myriad of challenging astrological transits for 2020 for quite sometime already, and we are currently navigating the energies reflected by Mars in Aries in square to Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn in Capricorn.

They manifested in quite a real way in my case, with a touch of physical violence included, but it doesn’t have to be that way. What I think is that whatever intensity and anger that came up to us now is pointing out to the changes that we are contemplating and aware of their need for quite sometime already.

We have to be brave to be the best we can be, to leave behind whatever, or whoever, feels familiar but does not embrace and support this best version of ourselves.

Raise up to the challenge!

Use the current energies to embrace courage (Mars in Aries) and to take constructive action towards a better life. Learn about healthy boundaries, and about not blaming other people for your shortcomings. Take responsibility for your process, and your process only. You can’t take anyone else with you, you can’t change anyone or ‘make’ them behave in one way or another. It’s about you and what you want in your life.

May we all find creative and constructive ways of working with the challenging changes ahead!

Full Moon in Aquarius and Authenticity

Im not sure how I missed out the fact that the coming full moon will be exactly conjoined my natal IC in Aquarius this coming Monday.

I guess that when you start studying astrology you become so keen that you never miss something like that, but once you have been studying it consistently for a few years, you then start to take the fast moving transits a bit for granted. Or maybe you just realise that every month there will be a new moon, and a full moon, etc…

But lunations do trigger long lasting transits, solar arc directions and secondary progressions. They have a way of emotionally intensifying whatever it is that you are going through.

I am working on my last assignment before my masters’ thesis and it happens to be a sky journal, a piece of phenomenological research on my observations of how the weather affects me emotionally. One of the themes that came up from the exercise is the awareness of a strong connection between weather x culture, home and belonging.

Lots of food for thought and it amazes me that for my last essay I am doing such a personal piece of work which enables me to explore an issue that feels so urgent to me right now. What and where is home? All of the internal work that took place during the transit from Pluto to my natal Moon still hasn’t given me the answer. I feel closer to finding it out maybe, but the concept of home still eludes me…

Back to the full moon though.

I have the feeling that this full moon will be triggering and challenging to reveal the amount of authenticity in our lives at the moment. Are we really in the right place? Are we really being ourselves in whatever situation that we are going through?

The full moon will be square to Uranus in Taurus and Venus (ruler of Taurus) might have some clues on how to solve the dilemma represented by this t square. Venus is in Gemini and very close to the North Node, so allowing people the space needed to find out what they need to find out, rationality and open communication afterwards might be what we need. Perhaps there is something that we will need to communicate regarding the process that Venus retrograde was reflecting earlier this year as well. Also these days Venus formed the last of 3 squares to Neptune (which started in May), and some resolutions regarding previous confusion might be a possibility with this full moon as well.

What are your values, what is important to you in order to feel loved? Are you happy with the flow of give and take in your relationships or are you giving more than receiving? And if that’s the case, why? These are some of the questions worth asking ourselves now..