I have been truly busy.
I guess that’s no news since my last post (or maybe the one just before the last?)
I remember talking about how much I’m actually enjoying the energy that the entrance of my progressed Moon into Capricorn is reflecting at this moment in time.
Focus, grounding, practicality and the enjoyment of doing what needs to be done.
But everything has two sides, and yesterday I just realised how much I’ve been under the grips of my animus. The masculine in me has been repressing and beating my feminine up big time.
The realisation came after a heated argument with my boyfriend about statistics and astrology that went wrong.
Why was I so strongly attached in defending my point of view like that?
After crying a little and consequently allowing the feminine energy to flow back through me it was clear that the man inside me was just becoming a bit of a tyrant..
And going back to the magical ways that astrology works… right when my boyfriend left, a bit pissed off, I straight away went back to working on the 3 months forecast that I was writing to one of my clients before he arrived.
As Im back to the writings, feeling still quite angry myself, I realised that I was speaking about the Moon activating my client’s natal Chiron in Gemini opposing Mars in Sagittarius when my visitor interrupted me..
I have Chiron in Gemini making an opposition to Mars (conjunct Uranus) in Sagittarius myself and I knew that this configuration, which is the symbolic representation of my animus as well, was being activated at that very moment with the recent argument..
Not only that.
I then became aware that this configuration was somehow overtaking me in the last few days and I wasn’t sure what was going on, why I wasn’t feeling quite right, until that moment..
And now Im also reading a lecture by Howard Saportas on Subpersonalities and psychological conflict.
Seeing each different configuration in the astrological chart as one of your subpersonalities fighting for attention or sometimes possessing you..
Timed by transits and progressions, or perhaps activated by the influence of another person’s presence (which you can see with the synastry), these are the moments that you have the opportunity to reintegrate them and move further ahead on your individuation process.
So today, to bring balance, Im making a point on embracing my feminine energy again.
Sounds like you were about to enter the Congress of your ego and surrounding yourself with “representatives of conjunction.” Easy to get lost in all the possible reasoning for this and that. And, how does that help you with the boyfriend and clients?
Self knowledge/ self awareness, that is the point!
I think too much “self-awareness” could make us doubt or expect more of ourselves than we may feel able.
But, if you feel more fortified by what you read/saw and the effort didn’t cause a rift in your chi and/or relationship with the boyfriend, then, I guess, all is well.
I am not sure which is better: simply knowing I am having an internal conflict and sorting it out by trusting my gut instincts or trying to identify/label every voice in my head and dissecting them according to astrology resources. Sure, I may figure out some planet COULD be driving my thinking. But, what then do I do with that? Tell others, “Sorry, my Mercury just won’t agree with you, today?” [I’d sure like to try that with the boss, someday. “Sorry, I can’t come in to work today. Mars is just not in the right spot.” Not.]
When you speak of balance, I think the balance between what we indulge in satisfying our souls and what we must tolerate from the world around us which apparently is not in tune with our souls, unless you are so fortunate to be in such a neighborhood and likely turn yourself into some motivational speaking mogul. I may get excited by astrology, but I don’t have anyone around me who cares to sit down and discuss the details. [And, personally, I don’t get as “detailed” as you do.] So, I must spend a little time with astrology between coping with all the other energies around me which are driven by more mundane interests.
From what I read here, I would have recommended a tissue, a hug (if you can get one) and some chocolate to resolve the minor conflict, unless it was something more major. That oughta appease that feminine energy. And, as for the masculine, exercise seems to work. 🙂