Mercury Retrograde in the underworld…

Mercury is stationing at 27 degrees Scorpio today and will be moving backwards for the next 3 weeks.

Im feeling an introverted energy in the air compelling to reevaluate and revisit values regarding relationships, sharing and love in general. I think that last week’s new moon in Scorpio opposing Uranus was already calling us to do this work during this lunation, and Mercury retrograde seems to be reinforcing it.

Mercury is stationing conjunct Venus, reflecting the Venusian tone of this cycle of retrogradation.

With Venus and the Sun also in Scorpio I think that we will be able to get in touch with subterraneous intense emotions giving us clues about hidden patterns of behaviour that might be hindering real intimacy and connection with others, and ultimately, with ourselves.

For Scorpio the process of maintaining or reclaiming power is of paramount importance, and a very common tactic for preventing loss of power and vulnerability is by, willingly or unwillingly, stepping into psychological games with others. Manipulative techniques might be necessary in order to get what one wants, but at the same time, is a huge obstacle for what Scorpio mostly craves and needs: deep connections where one is able to be truly seen.

At the time of my Saturn return, my progressed Moon entered Scorpio, making a conjunction to my ASC, and that was the first time that I became consciously aware of these games we play with people in order to hide our heart and true motives.

I suddenly began asking myself what was the point on doing that, on saying no when you really mean yes, and that kind of stuff. I realised that we must make an effort in order to be real so people can also have a chance to be themselves, and as a result, a genuine relationship might be born…

Now with Mercury retrograde in Scorpio I feel the echoes of that time coming back, slightly different, but bringing up a similar theme nevertheless. I am a different person, in a different situation, living a distinct phase of my life, but Im a witness of the fascinating spiral cycles of growth reflected by astrological symbolism.

It never fails to amuse me!

The astrologer Steven Forrest in one of his books, or maybe in an article I can’t fully remember, wrote that Scorpio stands for (radical) psychological honesty. I think that keeping this idea in mind, just like a mantra, during this Mercury retrograde could be of great help to us all…

..”unconditional cosmic acceptance”..

I am preparing a little introductory talk that I will be giving tonight to the 24 Indian girls that are staying with us for 3 weeks. They are attending to a program on becoming “peace ambassadors” the we offer here where Im currently living and working.

While I was printing their charts I’ve noticed that more than half of the girls have either Moon in Scorpio or the Moon forming a major aspect to Pluto. Some of them that don’t, have either Pluto on the angles or other personal planets in Scorpio.

Im thinking that it is interesting to see such a plutonic signature in a group of young Indian women that are here to learn different skills to bring back to where they come from in order to promote positive change.

Interestingly, although I am off from work officially, today one of the trustees came for lunch and she was brought into my house by the founder of this organisation to have a quick look on something.  When she met me she was told that Im an astrologer and, as soon as she heard that, she placed the palm of her hand right up into my nose asking me what I see.

As I explained her I didn’t read palms she impatiently asked me what do I do then. When I mentioned astrology charts based on the date and time of birth she just quickly told me her birthday and the hour of her birth. I then went on explaining that I actually needed a computer program and it would take a little time for preparing the interpretation…

Out off politeness I wrote down her details and the two other women that showed up with her also wrote down their details on my book. The situation made me chuckle inside for a few different reasons, but the main one was the synchronicity between what happened today and all the questions I’ve been asking myself while reading “The Astrologer, the Counsellor and the Priest” written by Liz Greene (the one I mentioned on my last post).

In the beginning of this seminar she speaks about the archetypes that might be unconsciously played out by the astrologer and one of them is Prometheus and stealing fire from the gods. Liz says that like in the myth, we also have to be punished, and she believes that this might be in the root of many common struggles that astrologers usually have. The lack of material wealth, the underlying feeling of guilt that prevents us from charging a proper price for our work or to value our time, and the feeling of loneliness and separation from society. Most people don’t get what it is that we do!

The situation today was the manifestation of some of these symptoms, the women barging in and expecting me to just freely give my time, the palm thing, the lack of boundaries and respect for my professionalism?

Anyway I haven’t got much time left to finish this post so I would like to end with a quote from the same book I’ve been talking about.

Liz Greene is speaking about what we do as astrologers (definitely not necessarily the only definition, but interesting food for thought) :

“Much of what we do for the client has nothing to do with the specific configurations we are looking at, but rather, with the fact that the chart, and ultimately God or the gods through the patterns of the chart, affirm the right of that person to be what he or she is. In this sense the astrologer  acts as intermediary for the cosmos, affirming the individual’s identity regardless of parental expectations imposed on it. A chart reading can be a revelation of unconditional cosmic acceptance.”

 

Reviewing rebirth

Mercury is about to go retrograde in Aries tomorrow.

Spring has also arrived and Im allowing myself to take a break to review the (constant) changes happening in my life.

With the majority of planets in mutable signs in my chart, Im doing one of the things I do best, Im adapting.

My daily routine is already pretty organised, with meditation in the morning and yoga in the evenings, and my work as a chef in between.

I feel that feeding people does bring me some joy and contentment, perhaps the Moon in the 11th house could be related to that. But I still have my sense of call strongly connected with astrology work.

In the midst of changes, (moving houses and cities, getting a full time job after a long time working either part time or for myself only), I felt the urge to focus on my daily routines and spiritual practice to keep myself balanced (or perhaps not to loose my mind…).

I have managed well I think. But was wondering how long would I last working on something that isn’t my true passion.

Then, last Saturday Buddhafield festival in the city was on, and I went to read tarot, but it turned out that I had my laptop on me and Wifi available, so I could also offer astrology readings to people.

It went amazingly well and I was fully booked pretty much the whole time I was there.

Having half an hour slots turned out to be a stimulating and interesting challenge to me, for I still prefer offering an opportunity for depth and empowerment rather than a brief list of ego praising characteristics.

New ideas came up, skills and things, and as a result, a review on what I can offer to my clients.

I also see (again and again) how much my process of growth is tied together with how effective my work can be, there is no separation here.

This is a great reminder to let go and trust. To stop comparing myself to others. To realise (again and again, again) that we are all unique and so is our path.

No rules or racing, for success is to be peaceful, healthily centred and content.

I have been contacted by two different people yesterday offering me work, one of which is a talk about Tarot, Astrology and Archetypes (excitement) and the other a potential opportunity for writing to a new astrology website.

Mercury’s retrogradation in Aries is perhaps reflecting an opportunity for rethinking strategies and plans of action, let’s make the most of it.

Splits in the psyche

Im almost all settled down in my new home in the Forest of Dean.

It’s interesting to see that, albeit somewhat painful, the process of moving really keep us in check with how much we have accumulated in our lives.

I don’t mean only material stuff but also stories and feelings…

Every time I move (and I have been moving quite a lot, compared to my childhood, in the last 10 years) I always make that a ritual for getting in touch with my deeper self.

The unchanging self that keeps me going.

I do that through reading passages of my (many) journals while I put them in a box to take with me.

Even though the rational-analytical in me is very strong, I can also sense a powerful emotional undercurrent happening in the process.

With many of my personal planets in Mutable signs I see changes as an important and necessary part of life. But in a strange way they also trigger a feeling of getting closer to death.

I can see my Ascendant in Scorpio playing its part in how I initiate things.

Death and grief are mixed up with the joy and excitement that guided me in making the decision to change in first place…

Mutable signs versus fixed signs in the astrological chart can reflect one of the potential splits in our psyche.

And Im writing this post in an attempt to give voice and integrate these two distinct sides in me.

 

In between worlds

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.

 

Never give up to feel your way…

Capricorn season is on and interestingly I’ve been seeing a few different posts on social media advising never to give up or stating that there is never the “right time”, it’s all about forcing your way through.

I understand that cultivating will power and determination can be empowering, especially for the strong Capricorn/Saturnian people out there.

But my intuition says that there is a fine line between the positive and the more shadowy manifestations of it.

I feel that many of the transformative lessons reflected by current Pluto transiting Capricorn is somehow connected with the other end of the axis, Cancer and self-care.

Cancer is the astrological sign that I mostly connected with the archetype of the great mother, it is ruled by the Moon which, in the sky, is our most obvious reflection of natural cycles and changes.

It’s no news that the 28 days cycle of the Moon resonates with the 28 days of the female cycle.

Every month it reminds us that we also wax and wane, and that expecting to be productive and strong willed every day is unrealistic and potentially damaging.

How many years, I, oblivious to my cyclic nature, have felt guilty and tried forcing activity when what I needed most was resting and paying attention to my inner visions.

Same about seasons.

How many fruits can you reap during winter time, when the trees are resting and concentrating energy in its roots under the ground?!

We are not machines, we also need our restful phases and I do believe that, like everything in the natural world, there is a right time to do things.

Reconnecting with our intuition, the feminine within, will provide us with guidance. But for that to happen, we need to learn how to shut our overly busy minds up and listen to our body.

 

Shadow work cast the light

I have presented a talk about the shadow in the horoscope on the 21 of December. The theme was chosen in relation to the season, it just made sense to talk about the shadow on the darkest day of the year.

When I was back at home I did my own private Yule ritual to honor and welcome the Sun’s rebirth.

And that’s when I fully realised that for the past month, whilst preparing my presentation (this time I had a projector available to use), I was doing intense shadow work myself.

{It is amazing to see how we naturally start resonating with whatever subject we decide to put our minds into.}

The last month has been one of the quietest, with no other occasional work to do, and I felt thrown back at myself.

A lot of anxious feelings and many of my insecurities came out to stare me in the face.

It was interesting to be going through yet another layer in this process, which, even though very challenging, seems to be strongly offering me an opportunity to grow and find my sense of self and solidity within rather than without.

(I truly feel that Pluto in Capricorn transiting my second house, and aspecting my Moon from there, symbolises my search for a different, perhaps more authentic, sense of security…)

With Saturn moving into Capricorn in the winter solstice as well, I also had the realisation that my ambitions were somehow being tested and needing reassessment.

My natal Sun is in the 10th house and vocation does seem to be the arena where my light shines the brightest, but it must come from the heart, not from an ego seeking validation!

My spiritual values and integrity have also been challenged throughout this shadow work period. The choices that I have been making so far, based in what I believe rather than “social ideas of success”, versus the incredibly intense insecurity and fear of being “wiped out” and not surviving in this world.

The whole thing got me thinking about community living once more and with a strong urge to move closer to nature again.

Liz Greene said in one of her Pluto webinars that when you are going through a Pluto transit, all of the profound changes that you experience individually are part of your role in the collective changes that Pluto’s cycles are actually reflecting.

Our personal drama gives us the guts and impulses that later on will compound the social transformation.

We are talking about survival here.

And with Pluto in Capricorn (and Saturn as well) I really feel that our survival depends on changing many of the basic values that our society is built upon, and that Donald Trump seems to be the personification of it, in a rather exaggerated form.

I am talking about patriarchy here.

The lack of connection and devaluation of the feminine (objectification of women, lack of connection and caring for the environment, profit coming before wellbeing, etc) and a distorted manifestation of masculinity, if not changed, will destroy us.

All of these rather important questions are the foundation of my need for reassessing ambitions.

How do I want to develop my astrology business in this world? What kind of contribution can I truly make without changing my life style?  How can I put my skills into service without feeding the patriarchal structures in our society?

A little note on doing rather than being..

Again its been ages since I wrote something..

Winter is coming here in England and I feel the darkness more and more.

The urgency reflected by transiting Pluto square to my natal Moon seems to be slowly fading away and I am still trying to see clearly what is left within myself.

Perhaps the seasonal darkness can help me making sense of who I am now; but lately I have had people coming to visit and stay with me and its been difficult to spend quality time on my own.

My brother came to visit this weekend. He is gone now and I am feeling a little nostalgic and somewhat sad.

5 years without going back to Brasil or seeing my parents starts to weigh on me I think..

I have a few ideas for new talks and a short course on astrology that I want to put together for early next year, but the darkness and emotional digestive process that I am going through now seem to be holding me back a little.

Is funny how much we seem to have lost touch with the natural processes of gestation and death, with the natural cycles of life.. with the seasons..

Our conditionings, that are supported by technological discoveries (electricity for instance), tells us repeatedly that we should be productive at all times. It tells us that only summer is great, with its long days full of laughter and social times.

It tells us that only the fruit is great, and that we should be ripping them constantly. But what about the seeding? Or taking care of the soil? Those activities are not as glamorous in our society..

I am writing this post in an attempt to dialogue with the voice in my own head that keeps nagging me for not being productive enough.

The darkest time of the year is supposed to be the time to go inwards isn’t?! A time for recoiling and pondering everything that has happened so far and identifying where you’re at in the process of becoming..

This is the time for reassessment and hopefully deeper understanding… why so much pressure to be doing things all the time?!

 

Multifaceted transiting Pluto..

I just came back from visiting my boyfriend in Wales.

He is staying at an Ashram on the top of a hill in the countryside.

With Neptune activating a strong configuration in his natal chart, which includes his Moon, he has decided to go on a journey in search for home and his purpose in this world.

He is also a number five in numerology. And so am I.

My knowledge in numerology isn’t very vast, but I know a little about number 5 being strongly connected with freedom and travels (which in turn, in my astrological mind, resonates with the archetypal energy of Sagittarius).

This visit has given me some food for thought.

As Pluto slowly makes its way back in the sky (in our perspective), heading to form the last almost exact square to my natal Moon, I realise that the huge transformation (which includes my search for home) hasn’t finished with me yet.

The strong call I felt in the beginning of this transit, back in early 2015, to go and live in a community of like minded people came back to me rather strongly while I was in Wales.

Living in nature and gardening almost daily, chanting and practicing yoga together, sharing the space with people that are somehow in a similar wave length felt closer to home than being in the city.

Eating fresh food from plants that you can potentially form a relationship with, by caring daily and communicating with them, gets you in touch with your centre much more than going to supermarkets.

We really are what we eat!

I know that one of the manifestations of Pluto transiting my Moon in the last few years has been a big and gradually change in my diet and relationship with food. (This is my second month experimenting with/eating Vegan food and the awful period pain that I used to get every month has improved a lot.)

I now have the feeling that I will be going back to the road in a few months.

But it is interesting to see that the earlier feelings of destruction and despair inside me has given place to something else, a stronger “Me”, so this is a different phase in the process of searching for home.. and I somehow look forward to it..

Pain(s) and beauty(s) of self-employment..

Im having a bit of an issue getting in touch with a client that still has to pay for my service and doesn’t get back to me.

And I wonder, has every astrologer/freelancer gone through something similar?! Do we have to ask for guarantees beforehand and mistrust people’s sense of integrity?

Maybe this person is very busy… with a very sick mother.. and/or the telephone sank in the toilet.. who knows?!

To be honest isn’t even the lack of payment that bothers me, but the potential lack of respect.

Anyways, apart from this situation, things are developing well for me.

I have recently set up another talk at the same spot here in Bristol and feel excited about it. The first one went pretty well and I felt so energised afterwards.. also with great feedback from people.

Public speaking seems to be a very strong part of my call and I am looking forward to doing more and more of it.

With my progressed Moon currently in Capricorn I am finding great pleasure in getting on with “To do” lists like never before.

More fun than dancing or having idle time… very appreciative of increasing productivity at the moment ..