I’m in Little Dean now (just near the forest of Dean) at the lovely community I spent last year’s summer.
It’s really amazing to be back here, this is one of those really special places in the world. The kind that you always want to go back to.
Yesterday we had dinner together, big table and many blessings. Abundance. Laughter.
Then we improvised a little ritual for the summer solstice/full moon in Sagittarius.
They were asking me what should they write it down. Me, the astrologer.
So I briefly said some stuff about the solstice and full moons and Sagittarius/Gemini flavours.
It was difficult to translate the symbols to each and everyone without being able to get personal.
As an astrologer you really have to, not only master your understanding of what those symbols could possibly mean, but also have the sensitivity and flexibility to translate the meanings back to a language that each individual can relate to.
I’m specifically speaking about a very mixed crowd of people. (different than teaching a group of people that somehow are on the same “page”)
Anyways, the situation made me think about the slow pace that my astrological career is taking. It made me think of how I’m really binding my time when it comes to “putting myself out there”.
Connecting this with what I wrote on my last post (and the conflicting dialogue between Saturn and Neptune in the sky) I am reluctant to getting out there as the “mystic astrologer” kind of thing. The airy fairie type that keep always speaking of changes and letting go and everything that is also nothing at the same time.
I thought about it. I’ve questioned myself if this is an ego trip (the need to be recognised for doing a serious intellectual work) and I’m really trying to peal my ego by having almost nothing at the moment.
But my conclusion is that this isn’t really about my ego. (or is it?!)
I just need to be authentic and true to myself.
That way of doing it (selling myself hard, advertising that I can help you find your purpose or whatever, or perhaps making my practice into a business) doesn’t seem to resonate with me.
I’m resistant. I just want things to unfold organically.
And I am hoping that I’m not deluding myself.. the whole Saturn/Neptune thing again..
(and this full Moon was bang on on my natal Neptune in the second house..)
You have a gift. If you are grateful for the gift, and use it to serve others, there is no ego in it whatsoever. However, knowing exactly how to apply the gift, and using it in the way it was intended to be used can take some time………
Thank you for your comment, yes I totally agree. Having a genuine daily spiritual practice can help with that one (surrendering etc). What has been pushing me is the financial side of it, I need to make some money in order to be in this reality. As much as I don’t like to think of that, I have to..
I understand where you are coming from I think. It took me a long time before I put myself out there, promoting myself as an astrologer- not really until I was 38, and then more so when I was 39 and ever since. I’ve thought before I could have done so when I was younger, but for whatever reason I waited until it more naturally just happened for me. Astrologers do need to guard against ego, but the fact you are aware of it is a good sign as it doesn’t need to involve so much inflated ego to do the work. Letting things develop naturally and authentically sounds great.
Thank you for you comment and for sharing your experience with this. I am really allowing things to unfold naturally and trying to listen to my intuition more and more. For me, the secret is in my spiritual practice. The more I devote myself to it, the more balanced and centered I feel so I don’t question the pace or direction of things as much. ♡
I *hear* you. I especially like your title ~
Boy, can I relate, as an astrologer, too. I identify with being all the other things I am, so what to promote? Eh. I don’t wanna. Meanwhile I practice Advaita and ego dissolution. Plus I actively run away from people who want me to look at their charts, and to pay me. Explain that one? Sometimes, I’m just not wanting to know that much. It’s a lot of information! Sometimes people want me to answer questions I just cannot answer. That frustrates me, when I see people’s frustration. “What does *that* mean?” Is an endless series of questions. Since i’ve been practicing astrology virtually all my life, and originally closeted, I’d say I’m definitely a bit “Professionautistic” about it, and well, yeah, maybe even legitimately a little autistic, too.
Sometimes, my intuitive faculties pop up and they are far more “voiceless voice” than I am ready for and astrology goes out the window because it’s a cerebral space. It’s language. Astrology is a spiritual practice, and sometimes it’s the tension of perception that we hang our hat on, and then gravity takes our heads off. See, I could probably have clarified my sentence. This comment could be shorter. I’ve been blogging for 5 years. I was given the “go” by the universe in 2011 when Uranus entered Mars: “do astrology public.” Well, I’m still working it out…
Here’s to doing your thing! Our clients and tribe keep changing along with us, and they come from all different orientations. As we grow, so will our craft, our language… This is something you won’t need to promote. It’s its own attraction.
I just think: Keep with flowering your being. Your style is you and
yes, the flexibility thing is what we have to do. Take up your business wherever it is, and sometimes it is still astrology but looks like something else. It’s always astrology, though, you can’t help but be one of us, and yet we are all different.
I’m sure we connected for a reason, and I thank you.
Hello there Ka, thank you so much for your comment. Your words have really warmed up my heart! It feels really good to know that somehow I’m not alone, there are people around the world sharing similar feelings and experiences, even if different (thank God we’re all different!:) ).
I’m fairly new to the world of blogging and I’m falling in love with it more and more. It’s great to feel a part of some kind of community . And I love making the connections with people. I haven’t really shared my blog with many people that I know, so in a way, you guys are getting to know a part of me that I don’t really share with a lot of the people in my life.. ♡♡♡ thank you again for your words. ♡
<3 <3 <3
Came over from J. Buss’ site. How closely your feelings echo my own! I am a visual artist who has worked for decades as a graphic designer, now with an opening to do more of my personal work and… just as you said– so confused. Lack of faith? Biding my time, not wanting to go the typical self-promotion route, but is that Yintegrity or denial? Trying to be open to love letters from the Universe and patient with uncertainty as I step into this new Self (or finally open the door to my True Self). That you were asked to speak a few words from your knowledge sounds like a gentle invitation to “come out and play”! Best to you from across the Pond.
Thank you for dropping by and for your comment as well. It is really nice to know that you resonated with what I wrote.
This is a difficult question if we try to reply with our minds (if what we are doing is denial or not), I strongly feel that only by going inwards and reaching the core we can know the answer or even what step to take. Thank you for your words and I’m sending you some positive energy also on your path ♡
I also came from jBuss- and what you said here rang so true for me I was amazed. I’m kind of thinking now that we’re all moving toward a purpose with our awareness and the abilities that brings, and that maybe is not…quantifiable in the ways of the past…like marketing yourself is something that’s eluded me, at least, for EVER. Yet, we go on, blossom, expand….and the good news is there are more of us out there than we might have known….it begins to feel, even when it’s dark, as though there really WILL be light. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your feelings and for reading my post also. It’s such a great feeling to be able to share these deeper concerns and to feel understood and heard. Yes, I really believe that the concept of putting yourself into a format in order to advertise and reach more people is somewhat old and needs to be somehow overcome (I think). Who we are truly becoming will keep attracting the people and situations that best serves our higher purpose. Deep inside that’s how I feel. Thank you for your words again ♡
just thank you thank you jbuss for bringing us’ins beautiful ones together. wow. xo keep writing everyone and sharing your beautiful canvas! i’m catching all the good vibrations over here in the pacific northwest. much love.
Thank you thank you for your lovely message and vibes! ♡♡♡