I’m in Little Dean now (just near the forest of Dean) at the lovely community I spent last year’s summer.
It’s really amazing to be back here, this is one of those really special places in the world. The kind that you always want to go back to.
Yesterday we had dinner together, big table and many blessings. Abundance. Laughter.
Then we improvised a little ritual for the summer solstice/full moon in Sagittarius.
They were asking me what should they write it down. Me, the astrologer.
So I briefly said some stuff about the solstice and full moons and Sagittarius/Gemini flavours.
It was difficult to translate the symbols to each and everyone without being able to get personal.
As an astrologer you really have to, not only master your understanding of what those symbols could possibly mean, but also have the sensitivity and flexibility to translate the meanings back to a language that each individual can relate to.
I’m specifically speaking about a very mixed crowd of people. (different than teaching a group of people that somehow are on the same “page”)
Anyways, the situation made me think about the slow pace that my astrological career is taking. It made me think of how I’m really binding my time when it comes to “putting myself out there”.
Connecting this with what I wrote on my last post (and the conflicting dialogue between Saturn and Neptune in the sky) I am reluctant to getting out there as the “mystic astrologer” kind of thing. The airy fairie type that keep always speaking of changes and letting go and everything that is also nothing at the same time.
I thought about it. I’ve questioned myself if this is an ego trip (the need to be recognised for doing a serious intellectual work) and I’m really trying to peal my ego by having almost nothing at the moment.
But my conclusion is that this isn’t really about my ego. (or is it?!)
I just need to be authentic and true to myself.
That way of doing it (selling myself hard, advertising that I can help you find your purpose or whatever, or perhaps making my practice into a business) doesn’t seem to resonate with me.
I’m resistant. I just want things to unfold organically.
And I am hoping that I’m not deluding myself.. the whole Saturn/Neptune thing again..
(and this full Moon was bang on on my natal Neptune in the second house..)