Again its been ages since I wrote something..
Winter is coming here in England and I feel the darkness more and more.
The urgency reflected by transiting Pluto square to my natal Moon seems to be slowly fading away and I am still trying to see clearly what is left within myself.
Perhaps the seasonal darkness can help me making sense of who I am now; but lately I have had people coming to visit and stay with me and its been difficult to spend quality time on my own.
My brother came to visit this weekend. He is gone now and I am feeling a little nostalgic and somewhat sad.
5 years without going back to Brasil or seeing my parents starts to weigh on me I think..
I have a few ideas for new talks and a short course on astrology that I want to put together for early next year, but the darkness and emotional digestive process that I am going through now seem to be holding me back a little.
Is funny how much we seem to have lost touch with the natural processes of gestation and death, with the natural cycles of life.. with the seasons..
Our conditionings, that are supported by technological discoveries (electricity for instance), tells us repeatedly that we should be productive at all times. It tells us that only summer is great, with its long days full of laughter and social times.
It tells us that only the fruit is great, and that we should be ripping them constantly. But what about the seeding? Or taking care of the soil? Those activities are not as glamorous in our society..
I am writing this post in an attempt to dialogue with the voice in my own head that keeps nagging me for not being productive enough.
The darkest time of the year is supposed to be the time to go inwards isn’t?! A time for recoiling and pondering everything that has happened so far and identifying where you’re at in the process of becoming..
This is the time for reassessment and hopefully deeper understanding… why so much pressure to be doing things all the time?!
The human condition (modern life) sure tears us from the natural balance we probably should have.
I, too, feel the darkness and sadness of the season, including depression felt after brief meetings with family like friends (but not friends).
Do not let the modern world push you to be anything you are not already nor milk you of your goodness. I have been saying this often, already: I love the song Carol of the Bells, but it gives haste to the winter holiday season; it presses people to work faster. And, it’s used often for that reason, to sell and sell faster. But, haste often leads to waste.
It’s sad? that the dark season is when I find myself in most need of action and assistance. I cannot simply “hunker down” and endure the winter. I am a bit of the ant and a bit grasshopper.