Reflections in the darkness

(Written last night)

There was a thunderstorm here earlier today and we are still out of electricity, it has probably been around 5 hours and a half already (already?) and time moves very slow. These words just made me think about the energy reflected by the symbolism of Uranus, which is usually linked to electricity and lightning bolt speed insights.

Uranus and boredom don’t go very well, in my vision.

Interesting to see myself without all of these gadgets that electric power enables us to have on our daily life, our daily routines. How much of my experience of reality changes, how much more presence can I feel versus how much more boredom? Or do I feel as much boredom in my daily life but just have a myriad of different options of gadgets that serves best as a distraction for myself and, at the same time, a distraction from myself?

For now, I still have my laptop, though with only 20 per cent of battery, so a few more ‘not sure how many minutes’ moments for me, and I just caught myself writing this and moving my thoughts again to ‘when will the electricity finally come back’?

It’s helpless.

But another interesting idea that just came to my mind is observing how much more limited having a laptop without wifi is. What really is the internet? This blob of connections with a massive capacity for keeping information, sort of like a giant invisible brain that forms and keeps connections. Infinite connections. Infinite combinations and possibilities?

And then there is me here, disconnected. But I somehow hear the sounds of my neighbours more clearly, and the children laughing at a distance, I think they might be playing on the street? Sounds like they’re having fun. There is electricity on that side though and I wonder if the laughter is caused by a distraction or by more presence in playful games. Sounds like they’re running.

And I listen. And I also hear my thoughts, and my feelings seem to be a little louder by candlelight. I’m not really sure.

Coming back to what perhaps my first idea in writing this piece was on and the relationship to astrology and some material that I’ve been recently reading on ‘Deep Ecology’. I read a very interesting paper where the author critically discusses the relationship between ‘Social justice’, ‘Mysticism’ and ‘Deep Ecology’ and different possible combinations between the three. For example, sometimes criticising mysticism and at other times arguing that the feeling underlining mystical experiences is the same feeling described by Deep Ecology and is a requirement for a change of paradigm powerful enough to promote the social changes we are so much in need for. (or is this the idealism of Uranus speaking through me here?)

I excitedly ask myself if astrology can promote a mystical experience by reconnecting us with the cosmos and the sense of unity which always seems to be importantly present in the description of these kinds of experiences. Maybe I will pursue this question in my dissertation.

Anyway, my insight is that this year of 2020 seems to be an important one regarding ecology and collective change especially reflected by Saturn and Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius that will happen later on this year. And how can we make these necessary changes without changing ourselves first? Impossible I believe.

How can we become greener in our psyches? And I don’t mean here becoming greener by only cutting down your consume of meat or plastic, although these changes on routine and priorities are also an important part of the process. I mean doing the inner work at the same time. Changing our old patterns of thinking and behaviour, becoming more conscious and elevated in our self-awareness and relationship to each other and to the world around us.

And how is that process going for you?

Only 15 per cent of battery left for me and still no sign of electricity. Dogs are now barking in the background. And I listen.

Not just another Saturn-Pluto post…

The building up of the conjunction between Saturn and Pluto is happening and Im feeling more and more excited about ideas and compelled to write more as well. (The stellium in Capricorn is transiting my third house at the moment!)

The other day I had orgasmic sensations, not joking, when I had the thought that I would like to write my dissertation on mystical experiences, astrology and deep ecology. Im in the process of communicating with my tutors and enquiring about the feasibility of my ideas, at the moment it looks like is too much of a big theme for a master thesis. On another hand, I still have time to reformulate and polish it up so it hopefully becomes more achievable. I love the idea of including deep ecology into my dissertation for this is such an important theme right now.

I think that the conjunction between Pluto and Saturn also reflects the importance of thinking and contributing with research that can enlighten and enhance our relationship with nature and mental health as well… I have very strong feelings towards this. And Im thinking about researching on what might be the role of astrology in this process, if any.

After I wrote my last essay on ‘peak experience’ and astrology I realised that one of the main ideas that connects both is a sort of dependency on a feeling of interconnection between everything. In a similar way, I think that deep ecology’s backbone also relies on the premise that everything is part of a greater system, regardless the illusory sense of separation that we have most of the time. Based on this premise, investing our energy in a system that prioritise competition above cooperation is a fallacy and a threat to, not only our physical and mental health, but also to the myriad of existing ecosystems.

What can we do about it? I think that this question is one of the most pertinent ones during this great conjunction between Pluto and Saturn in Capricorn… and I also feel that whatever this conjunction is activating in your chart is reflecting where you can contribute the most for the changes that we are collectively in need of making. The changes that you successfully facilitate in yourself now will have an impact on the collective change.

This is our responsibility (Saturn) in the regeneration (Pluto) of our social structures and values (Capricorn).

How are you doing after yesterday’s eclipse? Im feeling wonderfully excited. Hope you are all doing well.

 

This week’s powerful astrology…

I feel the need to write something about this powerful week that it’s about to start. Not only we are still full on in a super Capricorn season, with lots of planets and points in the sky in Capricorn, but we are also just about to have another eclipse, a full moon in Cancer this time, and the much talked about conjunction between Saturn and Pluto will be exact on the 12th.

I don’t think that the exactitude of this encounter between Saturn and Pluto will necessarily create something that we haven’t been feeling all along, probably especially since last year already. But when aspects get exact, in my experience, there is usually something big that happens which symbolises the changes that have been brewing underneath. Many astrologers are talking about this in relation to Trump and what is happening between the USA and Iran.

Im not much of a mundane astrologer myself so I’d rather write about personal processes and what this configuration might be reflecting about our individual journey.

A full moon is usually considered a culmination, with an eclipse symbolising a kind of ‘rebooting the system’ energy. With many planets in Capricorn, including the South Node, one of the things that I feel will become clear is connected with ambitions versus how we treat ourselves and each other. The old ‘self care’ theme which I feel belongs to the Moon and naturally resonates with Cancer will come out strongly again. In this context I also think that much on how we care for the planet and nature in general will also be under the spotlight here.

Our survival as a species sort of depends on that! And with this in mind, I think that the encounter between Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn will be reflecting a fundamental and necessary change regarding the structures of our society and how power is distributed (or rather how it is not distributed).

Pluto talks a lot about survival, and in Capricorn is survival by the death of what does not work anymore regarding all of the known Capricorn themes of ambition, authorities, organisational structures like for instance big corporations etc… What feels like a cancer will have to go. And bringing this theme back to the individual, celular level, we have to reassess where in our lives there is an unhealthy pattern connected with the archetype of Capricorn.

Are we taking on too much? In what area of our lives are we prioritising activities that does not promote well being and true fulfilment? What beliefs regarding commitment, ambition (also reconsidering our ambitions!) and material success are we holding dear to us? Are there any misplaced values in need for reviewing so we can let go of the ‘rat race’?

Fear is also another common theme connected with both Saturn and Pluto, so being in touch with our fears wherever these planets are falling in your chart and whichever aspects is doing to our natal chart, it is symbolising this huge, and much needed, detoxing in this more specific area/dimension of life reflected in the astrology map.

Saturn and Pluto conjunction is falling in my third house and I feel that ideas and communication was taken to a whole new level since I started my MA in 2018. Regarding aspects, it is only forming a trine to my DSC, sextile my ASC, and a wider trine to my Venus. This is also feeling like the journey to me is very much connected with self worth and personal values, big time!

With a Venus Square Neptune in my natal chart (Neptune in the 2nd house!) my life has been this huge lack of clear self image and boundaries, with a tendency to just give myself away really cheaply. These two heavy planets, Saturn and Pluto, about to aspect my Venus is reflecting a process where it seems like I can see myself a little clearer and I am resolute! I won’t be repeating those patterns anymore by making sure that I take my time regarding relationships, flings, romance, etc. More solidity is needed in this area of my life and I want to dedicate my energy to consciously and slowly building a solid foundation within myself…

Also regarding the third house I am feeling more and more compelled to writing and public speaking, to perhaps finally leaving my shell and coming out into the world professionally speaking. And I know how much this MA is playing an important part in building up my confidence and clarity of mind.

What about you? How are you all feeling regarding this powerful process that we are going to witness the astrological culmination of this week? Where is the Saturn Pluto conjunction falling in your chart and how do you feel about that?

Saturnian times, no time to waste…

At the moment we have so many planets and points in Capricorn or Saturn ruled: Sun, Mercury, South Node, Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto in Capricorn and Venus in Aquarius, which is traditionally ruled by Saturn.

This is a massive Saturn time and I can really feel it. No mater how much in theory I should be celebrating and enjoying some sort of summer holidays here in Brazil, Im just struggling not to feel the seriousness of this moment. All I want to do is work on my astrological practice, on my master, or whatever else career and commitment related.

I wonder if anyone else out there is feeling the same?

Now is also my Jupiter return, which is in the 2nd house trine my natal Sun/Mercury conjunction, and from the cliche astrological cook book perspective, this is an amazing time of growth and optimism, but I just feel burdened and deadly serious. Would that be because my Jupiter is in fall? Some would probably say yes to that, but I just think that this is Saturn/Capricorn energy in general. The seriousness and goal oriented tendency is very much part of this dimension of life.

I woke up today and all I can think about is setting intentions for making my living solo with what I love doing, no more odd jobs please!

I don’t care where Im going to be on New Year’s Eve, if it’s going to be a good party with interesting people, I don’t even care if Im on my own to be honest (like I have done a few times in the past).

I just want to make sure that I do the important stuff, that I take responsibility for my future success. That I take charge of my life and do something of substance with it.

It feels life Im a hundred years old without any time for frivolous things right now… and I truly wonder how people are feeling out there with such an emphasis on Saturn’s archetype? Could people be really gay and truly lighthearted right now? Maybe they are projecting their Saturn elsewhere… I don’t know.

I secretly envy people’s lightness and carelessness … or would that be Saturn’s archetype taking possession of me?!

Wishes for the coming new decade…

We are heading towards a new decade in couple of weeks and I thought that I should somehow honour that by writing something.

When I look back, from 2010 until now a lot of important things have happened in my life, first it was during this decade that I decided to take astrology and esoteric studies seriously and became a professional astrologer. What a journey this has been…

I also had my first conscious experience of multiple transits and the depth of transformation that this reflects, and feeling the intense pain that was brought up with it… and surviving it all, feeling stronger and renewed.

There was so much growth, sooo much!

What will this coming decade be about, I wonder?

I am currently having my Jupiter return, which is activating my natal Jupiter-Sun/Mercury trine and I have started experimenting with doing videos on social media. I’ve been doing stories on instagram, sharing some ideas and it’s been really enjoyable. After a long period of transformation with a lack of clarity regarding my identity and voice it seems like I am slowly stepping into another place, another phase is slowly dawning and I feel excited.

It seems like what I enjoy doing is to bring the academic discussion into a more popular format, when I did a video on the full moon it somehow didn’t resonate much with what I want to be doing. Im not entirely sure what will be, but that is how I feel for now.  I would like to focus on sharing some of the information I am coming across in the MA with other fellow astrologers and the general public. Bring in the deeper, bigger, questions so we can discuss the nature of our art and work.

I know that I can be inconsistent sometimes, so I will go with the flow and see what comes out of it without expectation. What is really important to me is the authenticity of it all. I don’t want to fake anything just to have more ‘followers’. It has to be real!

So cheers to this decade for teaching me so many difficult lessons, and welcome to the new! May the coming 10 years bring us much growth, understanding, healthier values (collectively speaking) and love.

Love al-ways!

 

Housing crisis

I have a few minutes for catching up with processes that are happening here.

Some posts back I talked about my progressed moon moving to Aquarius, the same sign on my IC, and the continuation of my journey in search for home, but this time,  reconnecting with my Brazilian roots.

During the New Moon in Sagittarius I moved to a friend’s house here in Sao Paulo so now Im living most of the week with her and couple of days with my parents. I was just packing some of my stuff to go back from her place to my mother’s where I will see a client later today for an astrology session.

As I was packing my things I thought about the amount of traveling and moving around that I have been doing since 2015 when Pluto did the first exact square to my natal Moon. At that time things were so emotionally intense that travelling from place to place gave me some sort of solace from all the intensity that was coming up to me.

This time is different, I am more balanced and less haunted by the emotional detox reflected by the Pluto Moon stuff, but I do notice myself feeling a little tired of all of the moving around (at least today?).

Yesterday night I was asking myself where is home?  I get bored indeed and have been consistently moving houses, jobs, cities, etc, but I wonder, is there a time when I am going to be able to settle down a bit more? Will I ever have a home of my own?

I am used to temporary situations, I am used to being quite mutable and taking one day at the time and building a momentary home with whatever I have available, but I am wondering more and more (perhaps the progressed Moon/IC thing) when is this going to end… if ever? Will I have a bit more stability regarding housing?

I have no answer to these questions yet, but it was a great relief to move out from my parents (again) and spend a few solid days on my own. As we grow older it becomes clearer how much space we need for ourselves, to do our own cooking, to decide how to get on with our day without being judged…

These last few days reflected how important for me is to be regularly alone, how necessary is to withdraw from activities and outside stimuli so I can process my feelings and understand what is going on with me. It has been 2 months since I arrived in Brazil and I did not have quality time on my own to feel my feelings, to catch up with myself properly.

I say no to this world populated by extroverted people constantly achieving and doing things out there. I want to achieve and do things in here. Inside me.

 

Mercurial and Jupiterian questions…

Im taking a little break from the editing essay for MA frenzy.

Mercury is now slowly moving forward again and I was boarding craziness. This was a particular intense cycle personally speaking and I wonder how everyone is doing?

A lot of the material available that has been written about Mercury retrograde in Scorpio talks about revisiting traumas and difficult emotions from the past, including traumatic relationships or anything traumatic to do with relationships and intimacy. This resonates with me and what was going on in the last 3 or 4 weeks and it left me wondering, once again, about the nature of astrology.

The old question about free will and fate. How much is fated and how much is totally up to us and our actions?! Personal responsibility is something extremely important to me and in my work with astrology.

The planets are not doing anything to you!

But, at the same time, how do we explain the synchronism between this Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio and the deep processes that took place during this cycle? I have more questions than answers at this point in my life, specially after being exposed to a lot of material in my masters that brings many different points of view, including some of the sources of our ideas. Ideas that we think are fresh and new when in reality a lot of them comes from Plato or Aristotle… and many other sources throughout history as well.

At the moment Im doing a module entitled Sky and Psyche where Im reading a lot of material about the history of psychological astrology, which is really interesting, but also makes you realise that it is an interpretation amongst other interpretations.

It is not ‘the truth’!

It also makes you realise how much our ideas and concepts of reality are embedded in the ‘weltanschauung’ or what Jung called ‘The spirit of the age’. It doesn’t seem like there is scape from it, even if you’re an astrologer and believe to be outside of the box, well, the box is much bigger than we think! …

 

Full Moon in Taurus, and the importance of conscious lightness…

Today I’ve been working on my first assignment for the current module Im taking for my MA and was checking the astrological weather for the coming weeks.

Mercury still moving backwards in Scorpio reflecting an invitation for non-action and for deeply rethinking about our emotional patterns and shadows. Communication only if deeply honest and tempered by psychological awareness.

Where is Scorpio in your chart?!

This is the area where all of this soulful reassessing is happening…

My ASC is in Scorpio and as I write this post, Mercury is starting to make its way back into the 12th house of my natal chart until it reaches my natal Saturn, in the exact degree that Mercury will be stationing to go forward again on the 21st of November.

I feel that much of the themes that this Mercury retrograde is reflecting personally to me is quite recognisable, all the emotional honesty kind of stuff, including addressing my fear of it as well (as Saturn in my case is involved in this cycle).

I do love what Scorpio stands for though, even if sometimes is a bit too much, or too intense, I have a real appreciation for it. This too reflects something of my own nature / natal chart. The dichotomy between the Scorpio placements and the strong disruptive tendencies symbolised by the prominent Uranus in my chart.

So then I tend to attract people with a very similar split, not to say with the same astrological symbolism in their charts, (even if slightly shuffled). This is an interesting phenomena I’ve seen repeating again and again not only in my life.

Then I was checking this coming full moon which will be taking place on November the 12th in Taurus. Couple of things called my attention.

Firstly we do well in keeping in our minds that this is the culmination of the disruptive New Moon conjunct Uranus we had this month, so somehow the continuation of that story.

The other thing I noticed is that Mars, the traditional ruler of Scorpio, will be aspecting Jupiter in Sagittarius and Venus, the ruler of Taurus, will be placed in Sagittarius also. This somehow makes me think that keeping things humorous and being in tune with your capacity for laughing at yourself and at life’s situations in general, could be of great aid here. Friendship rather than intense possessiveness could also be a way out from the dilemas potentially reflected by this intense lunation.

The moon in Taurus and the Sun/Mercury in Scorpio will also be harmoniously  aspecting Saturn/Pluto in Capricorn, a potentially positive and productive aspect if we are willing to take responsibility for ourselves, especially our emotional needs, and avoid blaming others or projecting our wellbeing on another person’s presence. Making sure boundaries are well set (paying attention not to exaggerate here, if overdoing boundaries is your pattern?) could be very helpful in order to make the most of these energies available!

 

Mercury Retrograde in the underworld…

Mercury is stationing at 27 degrees Scorpio today and will be moving backwards for the next 3 weeks.

Im feeling an introverted energy in the air compelling to reevaluate and revisit values regarding relationships, sharing and love in general. I think that last week’s new moon in Scorpio opposing Uranus was already calling us to do this work during this lunation, and Mercury retrograde seems to be reinforcing it.

Mercury is stationing conjunct Venus, reflecting the Venusian tone of this cycle of retrogradation.

With Venus and the Sun also in Scorpio I think that we will be able to get in touch with subterraneous intense emotions giving us clues about hidden patterns of behaviour that might be hindering real intimacy and connection with others, and ultimately, with ourselves.

For Scorpio the process of maintaining or reclaiming power is of paramount importance, and a very common tactic for preventing loss of power and vulnerability is by, willingly or unwillingly, stepping into psychological games with others. Manipulative techniques might be necessary in order to get what one wants, but at the same time, is a huge obstacle for what Scorpio mostly craves and needs: deep connections where one is able to be truly seen.

At the time of my Saturn return, my progressed Moon entered Scorpio, making a conjunction to my ASC, and that was the first time that I became consciously aware of these games we play with people in order to hide our heart and true motives.

I suddenly began asking myself what was the point on doing that, on saying no when you really mean yes, and that kind of stuff. I realised that we must make an effort in order to be real so people can also have a chance to be themselves, and as a result, a genuine relationship might be born…

Now with Mercury retrograde in Scorpio I feel the echoes of that time coming back, slightly different, but bringing up a similar theme nevertheless. I am a different person, in a different situation, living a distinct phase of my life, but Im a witness of the fascinating spiral cycles of growth reflected by astrological symbolism.

It never fails to amuse me!

The astrologer Steven Forrest in one of his books, or maybe in an article I can’t fully remember, wrote that Scorpio stands for (radical) psychological honesty. I think that keeping this idea in mind, just like a mantra, during this Mercury retrograde could be of great help to us all…

Scorpio New Moon trick or treat!

Once more trying to keep up with information on lunations…

Truth is that because it’s so cyclical it somehow bores me to write about full moon-new moon stuff.

But never mind that, because I do understand the importance of cycles (I feel that a huge part of astrology’s benefit is enhancing awareness on life’s cycles!) and I also understand how much easier is for us, in general, to connect meaning with the lunar cycles rather than the other planetary ones.

So here it goes…

This month’s new moon (which happens in the early hours of the 28th of October) resonates a little with my restless tendencies of natal Uranus in the first house (hence the boredom I talked earlier…) as the sun and the moon in Scorpio will be forming an exact opposition with Uranus in Taurus.

As I stare into the astrological map of this new moon I realise how much Mars and Venus are prominent in each other’s rulership sign: Venus in Scorpio (the sign ruled by Mars) and Mars in Libra (the sign ruled by Venus).

Traditionally they both are in fall, which would be interpreted by some people as an unfavourable position. Venus, which talks about our values and capacity for sharing and loving would feel uncomfortable in suspicious and protective Scorpio. At the same time, Mars which is about how we fight for what we want is less direct in Libra, the sign associated with relationships and sharing.

The way I see this interesting mutual reception between these planets during the new moon, is reflecting a need to work creatively within our capacity to relate and relationships themselves.

An echo of this idea is the axis of Scorpio (Moon and Sun) and Taurus (Uranus) which talks about, amongst other things, intensity and attachment (either emotional or physical/material), and with Uranus making its presence in the mix, I feel that challenges on letting go will feature strongly here.

Possessiveness or impulsiveness on breaking loose from someone could be part of the drama during this month (lunation). The old conflict, which I have written about in here a few times, between freedom and commitment.

A few years ago, during a very challenging time in my Saturn Return (which by the way is in Scorpio!), I read the book ‘Eastern body, Western Mind’ by Anodea Judith and had a great insight into the theme I believe this new moon to be about. The author linked this split with the second chakra and she talked about how the soul needs commitment and the spirit needs space and freedom. According to her the secret is in balancing these two needs because if we identify with only one side then the other person naturally compensates by playing the opposite. So, the more I want someone to commit to me the more the other person craves his freedom.

During this new moon I have the feeling that it is a great time for setting intentions for healing and balancing our two needs, being conscious of them both and not fully projecting one side of it into our significant other in order to avoid extreme situations.