Thoughts on 12th house

Yesterday I had an interesting day.

I’ve been volunteering at the library and connecting with people talking about astrology. Sometimes even giving them short readings when they show interest, which is proving to be very rewarding to me.

So at the end of the day and after taking a look on what is supposed to be a “very good  book in astrology” recommended by the swami at school, I decided to write a little about the 12th house. I think that the 12th house is the most mysterious and misunderstood house in the horoscope. Yes, you still find simplistic views on the other houses too, like 8th house other people’s money or second house your own money. But I think that no other house gets such a bad reputation in the usual explanation like the 12th does. People with jam packed 12th houses probably feel very disempowered, maybe scared even, after reading all those famous cook books in astrology and themes like mental illnesses,  prisons and hospitals, hidden enemies…and the disgraceful list goes on…

One thing that I find to be very important when you see 12th house planets in someone’s horoscope is solitude. That person in front of you really needs a great amount of quality time alone. If we think that the 12th house has a resonance with the piscean and neptunian archetype and what they all share is somewhat the dissolution and urge to transcend barriers, there are usually issues regarding boundaries for these people. It’s hard to separate your thoughts from other people’s when you have Mercury in Pisces or making a strong aspect to Neptune but also and specially if your Mercury is in the 12th house. It’s equally hard to discriminate your sense of anxiety or fear from what you’re picking up in the crowd when you have Saturn placed in the 12th.

The 12th house has also a connection with the womb and our experience inside our mothers so then again we have this sense of merging.

When I have clients with strong 12th house I always speak about their sensitivity to others and the environment, suggesting being more in tune with their need to be alone in order to reestablish a connection with themselves. I think that not realising this necessity is when the “hidden enemies” can show up, most of it unconscious behaviour that also connects with the classic theme of self undoing and the 12th house.

 

Mouldy peaches

I dreamt that I had missed my flight and woke up disturbed. The day started in a funny way but now it has gone from funny to frustrating at the very least. I’ve been spending most of my hours today trying to get rid of the mould that to my horror is growing everywhere in my room. It’s good that I just realised what was going on under my nose though, I think that I prevented myself from loosing most of my stuff. Man, everything had already a foul smell that somehow resembles the smell of mushrooms. Argh…

Well, with my Mercury in Virgo, this whole situation got me thinking about what Liz Greene said in one of her books (which one I can’t remember exactly now) about using daily life situations to be interpreted symbolically in the same way as with dream analysis. And suddenly I can totally see a symbolic relation between Pluto in Capricorn heading for the second square to my Moon in Libra and my mouldy room. Something that has grown in the darker corners of my (temporary) home must be dealt with! The feeling of powerlessness in the situation, the unpleasant surprise.

It also made me think about better ways of tackling the inevitable, or what could be my best conduct in this situation. For instance I could just have ignored the humidity and bad smell and in 2 months and a half I would have had the unhappy surprise of loosing everything for good, possibly including my passport that was inside my backpack. (Not considering my health also). How traumatic would that have been?

Another road is to not ignore and deal with the crap straight away. To be aware that there is no easy way out really, and the sooner I address the problem the better, for there is less mouldy material to get my hands dirty from at once. Now, considering that I’m in a shady and super humid place in Thailand I believe that the mould will keep coming out but my choice is to deal with it daily and slowly. I’m gonna take it as it comes for some things seems to be inevitable in life…

Wilderness

I’ve been meaning to write another post for a little while and because I didn’t the result is a mix and match of different ideas in one text.

First, a tip for anyone that thinks about living at a tropical paradise: beware and be ready to share your space with creatures of every sort. My first week living in this Thai island and I’ve had a few encounters that reminded me about how much life thrives in tropical weather. Almost eight years of european home and somehow I had completely forgotten that.

I had a bunch of ants mercilessly invading the cereal pack that I left on the table overnight, another big spider’s delightful visit (that one was quite huge for my standards), a little lizard surprisingly jumping on me out of a clothes rack, and the big brown spider that still sharing my room with me. I understood that the table/chair area here is hers and it seems that we have an unspoken agreement on leaving each other alone. I think I might eventually grow fond of her and start a beautiful friendship.

Then I got myself thinking, are we, human beings born and raised on tropical places, also naturally wilder than the others?  Im not sure what the answer is but I have to say that from my experience living in cold and mild England this seems to be so. Like that daring little lizard, I think that I did jump out of clothes racks onto people as well. But that’s another story.

I think is just interesting that I’m settling in a tropical place now, regarding that my natal moon is the ruler of the 9th in my chart. 9th house has to do with travels and living abroad, the moon has to do with home as well. So many memories from Brazil has been brought back to me. Obviously this is also and especially being triggered by that Pluto transit to my moon.

Another tip, for you people navigating the turbulent waters of an outer planet transit to a personal one: keep track of when the fast moving planets get involved in the picture. That’s when is more likely that something might happen or when you might be strongly in touch with the painful process of change. These days Mars made a conjunction to my moon and jeez, for two days I lost much of my perspective and capacity for detachment. I found myself clinging to what I thought I had understood and let go already. I somehow became those childish feelings and fears for 2 days. As Mars moved away, it felt like I came back to my body again. I’m in charge again and with more perspective.

This isn’t an easy process (the outer planets kind of change), but it’s vital in order to become oneself.

Its definitely a helping hand with the task of meeting the wilderness within.

Transiting me..

Alright, I thought maybe it is a good idea to write a little about transiting Pluto/Uranus over my natal Moon. (Perhaps I can get some perspective and peace of mind…)

I’m in Koh Phangan now, this is my second night here and I already got my room for the next 3 months. My tantric yoga course starts only in January but because is high season it was definitely a good idea coming earlier. Today has been my first official day here and I strangely managed to lock myself out twice. At the first time a random  guy helped me out but on the second time it was quite late and thunderstorming outside. I was surprised to notice the rush of fear running down my spine in such a silly situation. Of course, after struggling a little and almost falling out of the window, I found my way in again. Then, as I am talking to myself and recovering from the apparently “scary” situation I’m yet on another dreadful one: big brown spider inside the room. Obviously I couldn’t kill it and the creature is still roaming somewhere under my bed (hopefully staying down there).

I’m mentioning these two happenings in this post because is clear how much under powerful transits to our natal Moon the challenge of facing our childish fears becomes evident. In other words the challenge of becoming a self sufficient being. Mommy won’t protect you. The realisation that seeking mother under what seems a threatening situation isn’t appropriate anymore. You have to do it yourself. And more than that, also the realisation that many of those fears does not belong to you in first place. I thought about my mom when facing the spider, but my thoughts were really about how much she would be scared in my situation. About how much she is terrified of insects, and I could almost hear her voice in my head.

The process of separation from the “womb”state with mother is really a hard one and we all have issues with that. Without addressing those issues it is simply impossible to forge healthy emotional connections and relationships. And that’s where these powerful transits (by that I mean transits from Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) reflect an opportunity for all of us, an opportunity to work on our mother issues and patterns of emotional dependency. If we take it as an opportunity, rather than focus on the emotional pain that usually is triggered during these times, we can do our best and work on ourselves, then, and only then, we can hope to have a relationship that is not based on fulfilling our childish needs. Equality is then a possibility.

Symbolifed

Excuse me the weird tittle for this post, but yesterday I’ve had one of the most interesting synchronicity here in Istanbul regarding how astrological symbols pervades real life. This is actually one of the themes that truly fascinates me about astrology, how the symbols come out, how the archetypal energy gets manifested.

Since I’ve had a phase of exploring one night stands searching for myself I started to get curious about what astrology could speak in terms of attraction in each specific case. For instance we know that interaspects between Mars and Venus usually light up a spark between two people. But I wanted more than that, I wanted to see and understand how I feel the different nuances between each attraction and connection I would have with someone. It has been quite a fascinating journey and I definitely should write some more stuff about that.

But anyways, yesterday I decided to go out on a date with myself. It was one of these days that I just crave my own company. And so I went in search of a bookshop that would sell books in English.

As I was walking in the street I saw this guy sitting on a step listening to a turkish old man playing the flute. I don’t really know how to explain, but I just felt this urge to sit down beside him and have a chat. I didn’t really know exactly why as I didn’t really fancy him or anything like that. But because I’m making sure that I connect more and more with my instincts and wild self I simply turned around and sat beside him asking if he speaks English. He was surprised and asked me if I was from Turkey and was even more surprised to find out that I’m from Brazil because so was he. We went for coffee and shared many stories and feelings. After couple of hours we said good bye and when I got back I was curious to see the synastry or anything that could enlighten me about that sudden attraction. I was searching for meanings, like I usually do. Didn’t find anything in the synastry, so decided to check his progressions and found out that his progressed chart at the moment is exactly the day of my birthday. So most of the planets of his progressed chart is in the same degree and configuration of my birth chart. I don’t know what my conclusions are about this happening, but that made me think a lot about vibration and resonating yet from another perspective. Were we just meant to be some kind of mirror, but very literally at this point in time, to each other for couple of hours in such apparently random situation?

Busy minds.

I don’t know exactly why I chose this tittle for this post. I guess it has something to do with some left over  inspiration from the full moon in Gemini yesterday.

I just read an article about the astrological configuration and got some food for thought from it. About how the square of Saturn to Neptune got involved in the picture yesterday, or how it was rather triggered by this full moon. Saturn in Sagittarius, Neptune in Pisces,  Moon in Gemini (plus Jupiter in later degrees of Virgo, which would sort of suggest the ‘pseudo’ formation of a grand cross) and this really makes me think about a conflict between truth and beliefs versus reality and delusion, with an input of information or a bit of clarification represented by this full moon. The full moon symbolises the culmination of something, the end of a cycle and Gemini lends a quality of mind and detachment to it.

Bringing this whole thing to a personal level, yesterday I finally came across a piece of information that really has shed some light on a situation that has been lingering on and on for much too long. Clarity really stroke me and I suddenly was brought to think and question my values in relation  to relationships. Saturn in Sagittarius, also transiting my Mars and asking my masculine side to become more mature, is very serious about honesty and morality. Neptune in Pisces is a bit harder to grasp, it has to do with higher realms and trying to pin it down simply does not work. It has to do with dreams and ideals and romanticism. We can sense the conflict between those two archetypal energies, or at least I can. The smoke hitting against the wall. Then comes the full moon, gigantic in the sky and in its brightest moment, just like a spotlight showing you whatever was that you’ve missed in the process. Whatever idea or information that is crucial for at least trying to have a little more clarity and vision over the matter. Be the matter related to the refugee crisis and racism or to religious extremism, or perhaps self deluding about a person in your life. Whatever it might be, the energies in the air are still conducive to grant you some ideas and clues about any conflicting confusion that you have been struggling over. Enjoy.

Turkish delight

The winds of change are blowing hot in Istanbul. I just went for a walk and saw many plastic bags floating around the sky like American Beauty. There is a lovely feeling of peaceful freedom inside my chest and is almost like I can taste the changing air with my lungs.

We made it, all the way from Amsterdam only hitchhiking. 69 days are gone and I feel different. I feel closer to myself.

Moon in Aries has hooked up with Uranus  and both are opposing Venus in Libra, which is making a conjunction with my natal Moon right now.

I somehow feel the electricity of uranian energy coming back to me. With a strong sense of wakefulness and presence I can almost see from inside a different twinkle in my eye.

I’m leaving Europe after been here for almost 8 years and that old sense of home is once again lost. But, from the distance, I can already see a tiny little home that is newly being born within …

Back on track (?)

I’m trying to get back on track with my writings now. I haven’t posted anything for over a month and there is so much that has happened really, as you all can expect. We did manage to hitchhike all the way from Bavaria to Komotini in Greece,  where we currently are. We haven’t spent a penny on transport or accommodation, which is grand, but mostly what is truly worthy is the adventure and the amount of stories that I’ve been collecting for the past two months. I obviously won’t be able to write them all down at once here, but hopefully if I manage cultivating a little discipline and patience I can slowly feed this blog with some of them.

Talking about patience and discipline, Saturn is now crossing over my natal Mars-Uranus conjunction and I thought I would die of frustration and boredom. We’ve been at this place just outside of Komotini for about 2 weeks now and there isn’t much to do around here. The guys here are great people, truly nice and giving, but if I spend another month here I would either literally die of boredom or write a whole book. Yes, I’ve been writing a lot lately, which is great I guess. Also spending a lot of time on my own company, which I was craving so much after being full on with my traveling companion for the whole time we’ve travelled. As time goes by I become more and more aware of my need for space and solitude.

I’m also getting ready for the next stage of this trip, flying to Thailand. In two days we are hitching to Istanbul (hopefully not taking longer than 1 day to get there!) and back to having some adventure in my veins. Im truly looking forward.

Holy cows

Ashram/Hare Krishna community in Bavaria and Mars opposing Neptune in the sky. I guess this has been an interesting combination for me, especially because some of my personal planets are being picked up by this transit. I’ve been thinking about all of the religious rules and pondering how much discipline is required in order to achieve some sort of spiritual understanding versus the danger of stiffing up too much of our natural need for individual freedom. I don’t really have any answer yet, but I guess that the atmosphere here and my journey are being conducive to what this Neptune transiting is reflecting now.

One thing that I can say is that some of the beliefs here doesn’t please me very much (or rather doesn’t resonate with me?), like sex only after marriage or women in their period not being allowed to touch the food. My Uranic side can’t really take these kind of things. Too many rules and my rebellious side gets stirred up…

Thoughts on the ASC-DSC axis

The angles are very sensitive points in the horoscope and they symbolise how our personal and inner world meets outer reality. The Ascendant marks the beginning of the first house in the horoscope and therefore is of great importance in showing how the individual tend to experience each area represented by the house cusps. I personally find slightly frustrating when casting a chart with an accurate birth time is not possible and because of that the angles are lost. I think that a very important part of the individual make up and the style and quality of energy that drives a person towards relating is contained within the Ascendant – Descendant axis.                                                                                                                                    The Ascendant – Descendant is known as the relationship axis, the “me versus others”, where we recognise and separate what belongs to us from what we expect to encounter in other people and outside ourselves. We could also call the Ascendant – Descendant complex as the “meeting” axis because it reveals, by sign and aspects, how and what we tend to attract into our lives. This is the axis of self – awareness and where the individual understanding encounters and relate to other people.

The Ascendant, or the constellation that appear to be rising on the eastern horizon at the moment of birth, stands symbolically to how we define ourselves and to a sense of immediate social identity. The rising sign works as a kind of front door, being the gateway from where everything that is contained within the astrological chart is projected outward. The Ascendant has much to say about the individual’s self expression. Along these lines, personal approach, much of the personal style and physical appearance of the individual is also expressed through this angle, including the physical body itself. The Ascendant points out how we get out into the world and the way that we see ourselves interacting with others and the environment. In other words we could also say that the Ascendant represents what kind of lens that we use, not only to interpret but also to interact with the immediate reality around us. The Ascendant also shows what was going on when the person was born and how the experience was felt by the individual, describing an early imprint of what is expected from the environment and therefore how to behave in terms of survival as well. On the other hand, the Descendant, or the constellation that was setting in the western horizon line at the moment of birth, shows a set of characteristics that we expect to encounter from without. The Descendant displays parts that tend to be disowned, qualities that we often project onto other people or tend to experience from outside ourselves. Because of the natural tendency in human beings to seek wholeness there is also usually a noticeable attraction to those qualities represented by the Descendant end of the axis. I have also observed that the sign on the Descendant can point out what kind of committed partnership is appealing to the person and how the individual functions in one – to – one relationships in general. The constellation found on the Descendant mirrors the characteristics that other people perceive in us for it also shows our own approach to relationships. To illustrate how the sign polarities could work when found on the Ascendant – Descendant axis, someone with the rising sign in Libra for instance would be a person who tends to get out into the world in a diplomatic and graceful way, or someone who identifies himself with those characteristics. Compromising and being the go – between would be expected from the Libra Ascendant’s make up while the more straightforward, hot – headed and impatient characteristics of the Aries Descendant would be left to be experienced through and while relating to other people. To be liked by other people would be of extreme importance and the Libra Ascendant person would tend to feel attracted to a more decisive and independent partner. Someone with Scorpio on the Ascendant would get out into the world wanting to probe and uncover psychological truths. There would be a tendency to respond to the environment in a very passionate manner and the individual would be inclined to create crisis as a way of maintaining the intrinsic intensity contained within their style of greeting life. The Descendant in Taurus would represent the characteristics of reliability, placidity and permanence that the Scorpio Ascendant would feel drawn towards to or perhaps his/her own materialistic, unmovable and stubborn shadow. With Cancer on the Ascendant the individual would get out into the world wanting to nurture and care for others, being very sensitive to what is happening in the environment around them. These people would tend to feel attracted to competent, serious and perhaps drawn towards partnerships where age difference features. The Ascendant – Descendant axis is an extreme valuable part of the astrological map, but it has to be integrated with the rest of the chart in order to be given depth and more personal meaning.