Musings on the IC, home and heart.

by with 6 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

I received an invitation from the AFAN to give an astrology masterclass in February. I was thrilled to receive it, as even though this moment feels very ungrounded to me (I guess for the last 7 years?!), I am still progressing in my work. Astrology is definitely one of my passions in life.

As I wondered about a potential topic for discussion, I had to check in with myself and ponder on what themes are important to me at this point. (I can only research or talk about something that truly resonates with me in the moment)

Where did I get so far? The IC! I find the IC such an important point in the chart, the most hidden and private, but also where we connect with our soul. And with psychology being the study of the psyche, or the soul, I realised how much this topic really interests me.

My IC is in Aquarius, I have long noticed a strong resonance with the detachment and coolness of Aquarians as a sort of homecoming to me. Leave me alone and I feel at home with you…or sometimes sharing a sort of silent presence, togetherness and spaciousness combined. There is something about the cool friendliness of Aquarius and its quiet acceptance that I find most nurturing. The odd and weird is familiar and nourishing to me. Friends are family. (I guess this also resonates with my Moon in the 11th and in the Aquarian decan! Whatever is truly important, it will be repeated in the astrology chart over and over again).

But what about the IC? The place of soul making and rest, where we go back to recharge. The place also where we come from, where our roots are. The beginning and the end – like the ouroboros. The IC is where we eat our own tale as well, the promise of completion. Where we come from and where we are heading to at the same time.

Apparently, according to astrowiki, Hellenistic astrologers considered the IC ‘the home of the underworld’. This invokes such powerful imagery for me. Our ancestral line is below us in the IC, and at the same time, what sustains us is down there too.

Polly Wallace wrote that ‘The IC, the undersky, is reflected by invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment. The MC, the middle of the heavens, flourishes out into a visible canopy that reaches for the sky.’ I have natal Sun and Mercury in the 10th house, the house related to the MC, and I have been on a mission, for most of my life, to try and reach for the sky. It has been quite a recent realisation, as Saturn transits my IC (and my progressed moon also makes its way through the natal 4th house) that without having a solid foundation and connection with a sense of home in here (pointing at my chest) not much can come to fruition.

I then wonder about the phrase ‘home is where the heart is’ – I noticed myself coming across that so many times since Pluto transited my natal moon and I started my journey searching for home. Since I left my home in London back in 2015 I haven’t been able to truly settle anywhere for long enough. Anxious feelings always get the best of me and moving has become the rule…no bond can be developed long enough or a sense of belonging somewhere. Then I wonder, is home really where the heart is? Because I sure struggle to connect with ‘invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment’ in the constant disruptive pattern I find myself in.

Astrologer Dawn Bodrogi (if you haven’t checked her blog yet, is one of my favourites!) said: ‘the IC contains the consciousness roots of the psyche which must be mined by the MC in order for there to be a creative flow between ‘in here’ and ‘out there’. We can only create with the material within us, and the IC is representative of that material.’  So according to her, we do need to be in touch with our IC in order to have something to offer, in order to have a sense of collective role.

Another engaging, inspiring and profound account of the IC was written by astrologer Anne Whitaker, particularly on how having an outer planet transit to your IC might manifest as deep change within and without as well.

I have experienced Uranus transiting my IC in 1998-1999 and I remember that around that time my mother found a new boyfriend – her and my dad tried to stay together for many years in a very passionate but turbulent relationship full of betrayal and jealousy and feelings. That was a shift, and although she kept this new relationship a secret from my father, things were never the same again. (those years were also when she began to go out clubbing – I believe that was part of my mother’s midlife crisis).

After that, Neptune crossed my IC in 2003 when I was 18 years old. That was the year I entered university to study History, became a sort of adult (at least that was how I was feeling back then, little did I know!) But also, and specially, this is the year that my brother moved to London with his Austrian girlfriend at the time. A year earlier he had gone to Australia to learn English and, up to that point in 2003, I was still thinking that he would be back eventually and life would keep on as it always was. So that was definitely a huge change for me, suddenly I became a sort of ‘single child’ for the following five years, until I moved to London myself and joined my brother in the international life. Home was never the same after those two transits, that’s for sure.

But something else has been gained, and for me, being of such tender age when that happened, it was also about being initiated into adulthood somehow. Realising that things can change in profound and irreversible ways was part of my experience – home, which used to always seem so unchangeable and secure, was transformed for good as I grew in awareness. I was never going to be the same either.

Perhaps our sense of self is very much buried in the IC, intertwined with it. And if, astrologically, home is where the IC is, then the heart must be somewhere around there too…

Uranian new moon in Leo today

by with 6 Comments Astrology and meInner life

As Saturn made its way back into my 3rd house again recently, I have been feeling this strong urge to express myself through writing. I also realised, once more, how much I actually love words and playing around with them.

Today is the new moon in Leo, with a waning square to Uranus in Taurus. I don’t know about you people, but I have been struggling a bit with the disruptive energies reflected by that particular configuration. Interestingly, I do have a Sun-Uranus square in my natal chart, shouldn’t I be more familiar with that type of cosmic weather?

I guess this logic makes sense, but it is always important to see the natal chart as a whole, and the Sun-Uranus square in my chart is actually part of a t square which involves Chiron in Gemini in the 7th house and Mars in the first.

Ouch!

Yes, charged disruption, restless feelings, behaviours that although outdated have proven to still be extremely compelling. All of that fuelled (perhaps fuelling at the same time) by miscommunication with others.

But that have also thrown me back to writing. I find tremendous solace in the written word. I have the time and space to express myself more accurately, more eloquently, sometimes even poetically… a real achievement to my analytical mind.

Transiting Saturn isn’t only back in my third house, but it is also applying to trine my Chiron in Gemini (with north node conjoined it right now!). Yes, maybe this is a time where I can work with communication blocks differently.

Obviously, with the nodes activating my natal super charged Uranian configuration, I also sense this to be a big time, a great opportunity for me to rethink/reset some of my patterns. Why do I have this extreme urge to do what I want, when I want, and I don’t take a no as an answer? Or the voice in the back of my mind that wants to sabotage intimate relationships by being uncompromising in a disguised manner? It is daunting to see this side of myself in comparison to my moon in Libra and Venus square Neptune, all those two want to do is compromise all the time.

A tug of war within.

But now, with this new moon square Uranus, I believe this is an interesting time for setting intentions regarding expression of the Uranian dimension of our charts. I somehow really think about the Sun-Uranus people out there as the new moon takes place in Leo.

Everything in the chart seems to be charged with tremendous power (some configurations more than others, of course) and it is our job to fine tune it. It is our job to use awareness to direct that power.

Surely it is challenging to do that constantly, but I believe that consciousness it’s like a muscle. The more we train it, the stronger and more present it becomes.

So I will be using this new moon to envision how I could express that strong urge to be my own man in a more creative and conscious manner, somehow, and hopefully, less taxing on my connections. Perhaps more active on my astrology work and less urgently and compulsively expressed in my private life. I feel this is what the alchemists have talked about, about how nature isn’t finalised but requires our conscious dedication to transform the lead into gold.

The archetype of the magician…also the trickster, hence the difficulty…but I believe it is possible… Happy new moon everyone.

Decisions, decisions: some food for thought

by with No Comment Astrological InsightsAstrology and me

This post is born from a mixture of different insights I’ve had in the last couple of weeks. One of the things I have been thinking about is the importance of making choices as part of the process of maturation. Then again, how can I talk about maturation without thinking of Saturn?

Impossible.

I have the feeling that our choices in life need the support of our natal Saturn in order to be sustained and also for us to take responsibility no matter what the consequences of those choices are.

As someone with a lot of mutability in my natal chart, making choices have always been a bit challenging.

What if this is not the best way to do it? What if that isn’t the right place for me? What if…

Thoughts go round and round my head. The result was usually either decisions being made impulsively in the spur of the moment (the mars-uranus thing in Sagittarius) or avoided at all costs, allowing the ‘world’ to make them for me.

As I get more and more aware of the importance of having a gravity centre well placed within myself, I realise that I need to be the one in charge of my destiny. I have to be the one who consciously choses, the one who ponders on consequences and gains or losses.

When I was working as a child minder one of the moms I worked for was a life coach. She, as a Gemini Sun, would always give me some interesting food for thought, and one of the main things she felt was really important was to teach her daughter how to make choices. I always had to give the girl (when possible) two options, for example, if she preferred her sandwich cut in squares or triangles that day, that kind of thing.

As I observe the current transits I think about the sextile between Saturn in Aquarius and Chiron in Aries, both currently retrograde, reflecting the perfect time for reassessing how we make our choices and how we face the consequences (willingly or unwillingly). Saturn is also opposite the Sun and Mercury in Leo at the moment, another interesting trigger being revealed by the symbols.

How authentic can we be if we are scared of our individual power?

With the lunar nodes in the Gemini/Sagittarius axis also being involved in the configuration I have the feeling that this is big, it is major. Communication then becomes of paramount importance, our world view as well, and how supportive or prone to self sabotage is our expression. Because the south node is in Sag and its ruler just recently popped back into Aquarius, I tend to think that Saturn in Aquarius is more about inner structure and responsibility whereas Mercury (ruler of the north node) in Leo is reflecting the importance of knowing yourself more and communicating more freely and creatively. The focus right now is on self awareness, self love and respect.

Leo at best.

If we communicate in a non violent way and our ideas are still not well received, then maybe it is time to move on and find your crowd – find the people that will be supportive of who you are becoming.

The next new moon in August 8 will be in Leo, square to Uranus in Taurus, and still opposite to Saturn. Much disruption can happen when we decide to be ourselves unapologetically, just bear in mind that we don’t need to create more drama than necessary. Know who you are, know your values and stand by it solidly but respectfully of others’ differences. During this lunation cycle we can make choices that will support the development of individual integrity and self expression, lets make the most of it!

Another short praise to Saturn

by with 5 Comments Astrology and meSearch for home

As I prepare myself to go back to the UK I silently watch the build up of anxiety within.

These sure are strange times that we are currently witnessing.

One thing calls my attention as I watch the symbolism of my transits right now – I have transiting Saturn bang on my IC – and I think about the current situation in both my homes, Brazil and the UK. They were both two of the three countries where new variants of COVID were detected, and I can’t avoid but think about my Saturn-IC transit…

None have done really well in responding to the pandemic, with Brazil being obviously the worst amongst the two. I think that the UK is doing much better now and I see my friends sharing some pictures of the beautiful spring and their happiness anticipating the slow coming out of lockdown that they are about to go through. On another hand, I see Brazil getting worse not only with the rising numbers of people getting the virus but also politically.

Everything seems quite messy now and I don’t know if I can see myself truly settling down here ever.

However, I am not in a rush to make a decision about where will definitely be my home.

For now I have my flights booked (wish me luck!) and I will be heading back to England in less than a month if everything goes right.

Saturn transiting my IC is also square my natal Saturn, an important step in Saturn’s cycle – seven years after our Saturn return we are then called to take up the challenge (whichever challenge relates to when you had the return) a little further. For me it has definitely manifested as career decisions, it was around my Saturn return that I decided I wanted to become a professional astrologer and now, during the first square, it really seems like I am reaping some rewards from my hard work.

I not only feel much more confident about my work, but I am also beginning to slowly be recognised in the astrological community. And I haven’t even reached my progressed full moon yet! (this will happen in a few years time, I wonder what will be happening, but have the feeling that it might be corresponding with finishing my masters)

Anyway, the older I get, the more appreciative of Saturn’s symbolism and principle I am. (as we would expect)

The real solidity, the silent hard work, the true confidence (a different kind of confidence from Mars or the Sun I think, somewhat less cocky perhaps).

Gravitas!

I am finding older people much more appealing right now too, enjoying their silent presence, because the older we get (hopefully if we do the work) the less validation from outside is needed. I simply love that feeling!

So people, do not be afraid of Saturn. Instead, take responsibility for yourself, for your process of growth, and you will then see the magic happens…

Saturn and Inner Wisdom

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner life

Ok, so this writing just happened to me.

I was listening to music and having a cry when these words just started coming to me, so here they are.

But before that, just an astrological note. I see my Saturn in Scorpio being reflected in the text below, and when I recently found out (or maybe realised) that this planet sits exactly in the midpoint between my natal Venus square Neptune, I am convinced of its importance. Getting to know this Saturn and daring to integrate it a bit further seems to hold an important key for me and the potential success of my relationships. I think that the text below encapsulate a bit of it, a bit of my Saturn in Scorpio in the 12th at best.

Feeling things intensely isn’t the issue, the real issue is how we manage and work with the powerful energy that gets released/triggered with powerful emotions. Having someone that supports this process is of utter importance to me, for my growth and self-understanding. It is also paramount to not project and blame another for those feelings, either when they’re pleasant or unpleasant. Either way, we need taking a position of ownership rather than victimhood and to not act out onto another. 

The respect has to be mutual. 

It is clear to me that I cannot be with someone that cuts off emotions, or that find it all a bit too much. People that shy away from tears as if they’ve seen the antichrist disturbs me. Emotions are just that, something in motion, changeable. It is just a powerfully healing and transformative force. And I do not take the power of emotions for granted. This is why it is necessary to be like some sort of samurai, some kind of martial art master – to be brave enough to master your emotions. To ride them and see where the destination is, at least in that moment, for it changes from moment to moment. 

Bravery to be an observer of the change.

I see emotions like a powerful chariot, like the one in the Tarot, with a white and black horse pulling it around. Happy or sad, emotions drag us around, it pushes us to do things, to take chances, to cry in the bathroom when no one is looking. One thing is for sure, emotion is what heals, inflames, possess us at all times, so getting to know them, making them your acquaintance is, in my view, a positive way of relating with it. It is a powerfully transformative way of relating with your deepest and authentic self, of getting to know you…    

Jupiter (etc) on the IC

by with No Comment Astrological InsightsAstrology and meInner lifeProfessional AstrologerSearch for home

Today there was no thunderstorm.

Instead, just a gentle rain, one of those still somehow illuminated by the sun, some kind of rainbow weather.

As I watched it through my window, eating a piece of freshly cut watermelon I felt a warmth in my chest and smiled thinking to myself: ‘I’m in Brazil’

‘I am Brazil’ or ‘Brazil is me’, probably both.

With Jupiter conjoining my IC in Aquarius to the degree right now, I strangely feel a sense of belonging.

The last full moon was activating my MC-IC and a huge release of emotions happened to me, I had to begin letting go of the UK and the last (almost) 13 years of my life. Another chapter is beginning to unfold, and the pandemic and collective general chaos is affecting my options and the choices I have to make.

In the last few years I went through a Pluto hard transit to my natal Moon and a conscious quest for home sort of began, in the process I went through a lot of purging, moving around and challenging myself, perhaps all in order to discover a new sense of security within. But now it seems that I am closer to having an actual home to put my roots down a little deeper this time.

I am aware that the effects of a Jupiter transit lasts a lot less in comparison to the outer planets’, and for this reason it somehow reflects opportunities that are somewhat more fleeting. Saturn will then make its way backwards and forwards over my IC while Uranus squares it. I know that I need to change how I present myself into the world and I also feel that in order for that to happen I need some solid ground. I need to have a secure space to do my work from.

The amazing thing is, the more I listen to the voices coming from the depths of my IC the more I seem to be thriving in my work. Many people are seeking my services lately, with a few different talks lined up, including a short course I designed introducing Synastry, I am beautifully busy. There is also my masters’ thesis which I am just about to start. My professional dreams seem to be slowly coming true and I’m loving it.

My mind is sharp at the moment.

But for now, I silently eat my watermelons gazing out the window…watching the water nurture my surroundings.

A little on midpoints

by with No Comment Astrological InsightsAstrology and meInner life

Astrology as a subject for research never ceases to amaze me.

I have currently been looking into midpoints a bit more and what a fascinating topic. My Moon in Libra, ultra sensitive towards symmetry and beauty, really seems to love the idea of a midpoint being a place where integration can happen.

For the ones reading this and thinking ‘what the hell are midpoints?’, it is a very simple concept, for instance every single point or planet in the horoscope, in relation to another, will have a half way – if mars in your chart is at 6 degrees Sag and your Venus is 26 Virgo the middle between the two is 1 Scorpio. Does that make sense? It is a simple mathematical calculation really. (there will be a further midpoint and a closer one, the closer is the most commonly used including to cast composite charts – another fascinating use of midpoints!)

In the astro.com website they say: ‘A midpoint marks the focal point at which the energies of two planets meet. If a third planet is conjunct this point it receives these energies and to a certain degree acts as a channel for them.’

Exactly!

It is very interesting, if you have a planet in the midpoint of two planets in an opposition (that would be a T square) or in between two planets forming a square, it could act not only as a ‘channel’ but also it could reflect a possible way out from the dichotomy and towards more inner integration.

I love how we can potentially discover new things as we continue our astrological learning journey, including discovering new placements and things about our own astrology chart that we did not notice before.

I have written about my currently progressed Venus forming a conjunction to natal Saturn and roughly how serious I have been feeling regarding love relationships and personal boundaries – well, as I researched the midpoints in my chart I realised that Saturn sits right in the midpoint of my natal square between Neptune and Venus!

How interesting! To me this placement is somehow quite hopeful. The more I work on my Saturn in order to integrate it further in my psyche, the more I can potentially become more solid and realistic in how I deal with others… I feel that my natal Saturn holds a potential key for practicing boundaries and realism when my Venus-Neptune combo gets too dreamy.

Has any of you found an important planet in between a natal square like this? Do you feel that that planet can help you out with the conundrum?

Multiple views

by with No Comment Astrological InsightsAstrology and me

Last Sunday was the third workshop I was giving in partnership with fellow astrologer Gillian Crawford on the Saturn-Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius happening this coming 21 of December. It was a real pleasure to prepare the classes as I really enjoy teaching. I love information and sharing it with others, perhaps this is part of what I came into this world to do (says my North Node in Gemini). In fact, the older I get the more I realise how much I appreciate the lightness of Gemini in contrast to the potential sagittarian pitfall of dogmatism and the idea of ‘the (one and only) truth’ (which I used to indulge in, specially before my first Saturn return).

Mercury is about a variety of useful information (I am a Virgo!) versus Jupiter (ruler of Sagittarius) reflecting belief systems. I love the process of brainstorming the possibilities that each astrological symbol can potentially be about and in that way to enrich interpretations.

While preparing my workshop for last Sunday I really got myself thinking in many different ways about Aquarius and the conjunction between Saturn and Jupiter itself. One of the things that really came to me for instance, is the possibility of each one of the other fixed signs (Leo, Scorpio and Taurus) representing a potential antidote to Aquarius’ pitfalls for they represent a different point of view. I have a strong feeling that problems arise when we are stuck in a single way of seeing things with disregard to others and their views. And btw, this is also the danger and base of totalitarian regimes, there is only one way or one truth, etc.

For instance, when Aquarius becomes too detached in its visions and ideas, Leo can bring forward the human heart and its soothing qualities, Taurus reminds us of embodied and instinctual knowledge, while Scorpio can provide the gift of emotional honesty.

All of the three other fixed signs can remind Aquarius of its humanness and this can be of paramount importance from now on, when we will see such an emphasis in this archetype (with Saturn and Jupiter conjoining in Aquarius, but also with Pluto following it in a couple of years).

So, from that perspective, if you have any planets or points in your chart in the early degrees of the fixed signs, you are being invited to bring a point of view that might be balancing and, at the same time, you are asked to question any extreme behaviour connected with that planet/point in your chart.

Reflections and realisations

by with No Comment Astrology and meInner lifeProfessional Astrologer

The coming full moon eclipse on the 30th of November will be exact conjoined my natal Chiron in the 7th house. There are lots of different insights that I can have by observing the full moon’s chart in comparison to my own, but what strikes me is the reminder that most things astrological symbols reflect are rather process oriented than a ‘one off’ type of thing.

Another fellow astrologer wrote an interesting text regarding the coming full moon eclipse and linking it up to a lunation from May 2003, that’s when I was beginning my History degree in Sao Paulo. I can’t particularly remember anything else, nothing special in the relationship arena (which I would expect to see with a natal Chiron in Gemini in the 7th house). What about yourself, can you remember anything relevant that was going on for you in May 2003?

The Sagittarius-Gemini axis relate to information and education in general, how do you communicate your ideas and beliefs? How attached are you to them?

Since 2017 the big planets transiting Capricorn have been activating my natal 3rd house and a huge process of deepening and exploring ideas about astrology and how to communicate them has been taking place for me. Also, the Saturn-Jupiter conjunction will be happening there for me, in my 3rd house. It will be forming a trine to my North Node in Gemini in the 7th house as well as a square to my Pluto.

Ideas, communication, writing, reading, expressing myself, are some of the themes that have been under the spotlight for me recently, and it seems like it will be even more so in the years to come.

Regarding intense emotions and full moons and eclipses, I just realised how emotional I feel right now after having a melt down by myself for feeling really tired. I haven’t had a whole day off in ages, I can’t even remember when was the last one. I have always wanted to work on my career so badly in order to make sure that my job never feels like a ‘job’ in the boring/obligation kind of sense.

I have known that I can only dedicate myself to something meaningful and enjoyable for quite sometime.

But as I was crying and feeling the tension throughout my body today I suddenly realised that that too feels like ‘work’, like something serious and important, and that I need to find ways of relaxing and having lightness and fun in my life. At the moment I doubt my capacity for doing that, for enjoying myself without studying or working or being productive in some way. One of the only ways that I could do that was by having a romance and dating someone but the last thing I want to bring into my life now is frivolity, and dating seems very shallow to me at the moment (says the progressed Venus exact conjoined natal Saturn in the 12th).

I feel heavy. Hope you are feeling better out there.

Prognostication as New Lenses

by with 10 Comments Astrological InsightsAstrology and me

One of the things that I find most interesting regarding prognostic techniques in astrology is to see them as an opportunity to experience your natal chart differently. To have a temporary experience of how different certain placements are from what you know (especially regarding progressions/solar arc directions).

For instance I have a tight natal square between Venus and Neptune (with Venus being the ruler of my 7th house) and this has been very obvious in my love life. All of the classic stuff that we usually link to that kind of aspect: evasion, confusion, being the saviour or saved by someone else… my sometimes (many times to be honest) lack of discrimination has consistently put me into trouble.

It is not a surprise then that having my progressed Venus exactly conjoined natal Saturn has somehow been feeling refreshing (a word that we hardly imagine paired up with Saturn’s symbolism). But that’s how it partly feels to me. Suddenly I am more sober, more serious and unwilling to delude myself.

I want to see who is truly in front of me rather than dream about it. As I get older I am increasingly tired of the Neptunian fog that comprised my love life and this progression seems to reflect that. This time is an opportunity to learn Saturn-Venus lessons (transiting Saturn is also trine my natal Venus!).

And I welcome that right now!

The other day I had a date with someone and it was brilliant not to do anything, it was great to just hold and give myself time to slowly meet someone else. I told him I want to be friends and make sure we do have anything before becoming physical. I’ve never really done that before. It was great!

Sure I do feel isolated and alone at times (all of the Saturn stuff), but it somehow feels good being able to be with myself. I don’t want any illusions anymore, I’d rather isolate myself instead and concentrate on important things, like my dissertation (which I just started the process) and my astrological practice.

So whenever you see something like that coming up (progressed Venus on your Saturn), this could be a great opportunity, an antidote to an old pattern represented by the natal astrological symbol, like my Venus-Neptune for example.