Saturn-Pluto nightmares…

Yesterday I had the pleasure to watch a webinar that astrologer Lynn Bell gave on the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn (already within orbit, will be perfecting in January 2020).

She made use of some powerful photographs made by artist Nicolas Bruno (who has a natal square between Pluto and Saturn) to illustrate the archetypal energies of Pluto and Saturn encountering each other.

I have experienced Saturn and Pluto’s powerful symbolism through family stuff, even though neither is placed in the 4th house in my chart.

Lately I have been feeling a little unsettled with the powerfully changing energies around, especially because of my father. He has Sun in Capricorn at the exact degree that the conjunction between Pluto and Saturn are going to happen in January next year. My mother has Sun in the last degree of Cancer, and my brother’s Sun is in the last degree of Capricorn with his Moon also in the final degrees of Cancer.

With all of my willingness to focus on spiritual growth and the powers of transformation and healing through crisis, I couldn’t ignore the fact that the Pluto-Saturn conjunction is activating every member of my nuclear family in a powerful and fundamental way!

The webinar was very helpful because it somehow helped me to keep a sense of the bigger picture, not to mention a deeper understanding of that planetary configuration. Interestingly, Lynn Bell shared that most of the pictures taken by the artist is inspired by his recurrent problems with sleep paralysis and nightmares, and she said that this transit is actually asking that we face those paralysing fears ourselves.

Something needs to die and we cannot hold it anymore.

An Astrologer’s wishes for 2019

The heat in Brazil is so strong that for most of the day I cannot do much. Sometimes it feels like my brain is melting.

For the last five or six years I consciously went through a Pluto transit to my natal Moon and this is the first time that I came back since. Everything looks and feels strange and familiar at the same time.

That strange familiar feeling of not belonging strongly remains.

I miss my home in England.

I am enjoying some things here, but after couple of weeks its clear to me that many of the structures, customs, opinions, ideas, ideals, cultural identity… have all changed to me? Sao Paulo somehow feels largely small?

Since 2012 I went through multiple transits, I’ve had my first Saturn return and transits from all 3 outer planets to my personal planets. I’ve been dissolved, dismembered and initiated into adulthood. Much pain and suffering was met on the way, but looking at myself in the mirror I can see that it was worth it.

I believe that if we don’t adapt to the seasons we can’t make the most of it. The idea of intermittent happiness to be pursued in life is a fallacy. But being stuck in a loop of sadness for too long can also be damaging.

Nature and its cycles have much to teach us. Accepting and taking action that is aligned with our personal cycle is one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learnt in the last 5 years. (Not that it was easy or that I have ceased to struggle with it. But I feel incredibly aware of it now.) Even if the action is by not taking any action. (something that can also be very challenging in a society that emphasises doing and achievement so strongly!)

So in this New Year Eve, close to a New Moon in Capricorn, my wish is that we can all learn how to be deeply rooted in ourselves, how to feel, trust, and follow the natural wisdom of our cycles, and, in this way, develop more authenticity in a mature and solid manner.

Then, and only then (I feel), we are going to be able to, genuinely, have a positive impact in our society, planet, cosmos, universe… whatever needed.

Happy new year!

 

6 planets going retrograde! (+ Chiron)

The last two weeks seemed to have been especially intense.

I haven’t particularly observed the effect of many planets travelling in retrograde motion together, but it is interesting to see that we have currently 6 planets plus Chiron moving backwards at the moment.

For the last 18 years (I only checked until the year 2000!) the outer planets (Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) have had a period of retrogradation together during the month of August, so this isn’t new right now.

During this month I’ve always felt a strong energy of rethinking and checking with myself what direction should I be taking in my life. But my birthday is also in August, so this is probably a major influence, I think.

{The solar return (what we call birthday) is an important time for reevaluating your sense of purpose and expressing/reconnecting with your core self more authentically. So I’ve never thought much of August’s outer planets retrogradation.}

But if we think about it though, there is an interesting energy in August. A quiet and yet transformative energy is in the air, when the seasons are once more drastically beginning to change (from summer to autumn, or winter to spring in the Southern Hemisphere). At least the building up for the change is starting to happen.

The outer planets astrologically reflect different forces of collective change. Collective longings and yearnings tend to be revisited in the month of August I suppose?

What seems to be new though (and most probably not entirely new), is Saturn, Mars and Mercury joining in this year’s period of revisiting and reconnecting with the collective/big changes.

I feel that we (specially westerners) tend to struggle with these periods of introspection and no action, reflected astrologically by the retrograde planets. We are socially conditioned to believe that being active and productive is the only way to guarantee a successful and meaningful life.

We prioritise doing rather than being.

My last two weeks have been difficult because taking time out is something that does not come easily. We have to work and socialise …  really, there is always so much to be done that feelings of guilt creeps in whenever we are doing nothing without being ill or having a good excuse for the lack of activity …

With 6 planets currently going on retrograde motion what we need most is silence. It is a break from the over stimulation that we expose ourselves to on a daily basis.

I feel that the cosmos is reflecting a moment in the cycle of life where contemplating is more urgent than going forward. This is the moment to stop and re-access where you’re at in your life, where you’re at in your process of growth.

It is a time to take time and reorganise yourself.

 

 

Saturn stabilising energy

I have been meaning to come back here for quite a while but just didn’t manage.

In the last month I’ve developed a taste for the magazine “Womankind” (amazingly beautiful and ad free, full of really interesting articles and interviews), continued reading books and worked on developing my new routine in the community Im living and working since February this year.

Since Pluto has made the last square to my natal Moon things seem to have settled within and without.

My boyfriend also got a job as a cook and has moved here with me since around March. We’ve met in July 2016, when Pluto was making the third or forth square to my Moon, and we have been developing what for me is the most authentic, challenging and rewarding partnership that I’ve ever had.

Since Pluto moved from the 2nd to the 3rd house in my chart issues connected with money and self sufficiency are slowly fading. I feel secure and quite solid materially speaking, which is a very different place to be compared to the last 6 years of insecurity and little money to spend.

I can buy things now. I can also invest money in education or travels if I wish to do so. (Jupiter is placed in the second house in my horoscope, can you tell?)

It is very interesting to observe how feelings and themes are constantly shifting in a synchronous dance with the cosmos.

Going from these long lasting years of emotional breakdown and a tragic, and intense, feeling of insecurity and death to regained confidence and solidity.

From transiting Pluto square natal Moon to transiting Saturn trine natal Mercury and Sun (with Uranus heading towards a trine to those natal planets as well).

I feel strong and capable. I also see recognition being bestowed upon myself in the community and at work. Me and my boyfriend have been offered a little wonderful house in the grounds where we work. We are finally going to have the chance to live on our own within the community.

And the house is amazing, with beautiful big windows facing the forest.

We move in less than a month.

Life has a funny way of developing if we dare allowing it enough space to do so.

Now in the last few days I’ve been contemplating applying for a master in cultural astronomy and astrology. I somehow feel that this could be a wonderful way of expressing these supportive and earthy transits that I am going through.

At my job I also have the opportunity for writing projects for training courses and I feel that this master course will perhaps be giving me much needed food for thought and inspiration.

I had my eye on this master degree for a while but was put off by my lack of stability and material security. How can I concentrate and write essays when Im not sure if I can pay the rent in the end of the month?

 

 

Another Uranus in Taurus theme related…

“The “good life” in the media is about owning lots of stuff, jet-setting around the globe to go shopping and expanding everything from houses, to kitchens, businesses to economies. The good life is never depicted as a life of ample time – time to play the cello, write, plant flowers, or sit around doing nothing but chatting with friends. Indeed, the media has taught us to equate owning lots of products with a high standard of living, as opposed to growing other aspects of our life such as cultivating skills and friendships.”

I came across this article in the Womankind magazine and really enjoyed the read. It makes me think of Uranus in Taurus potential changes in store for us, hopefully, collectively!

I am also reading a book on Hygge which is proving to be super interesting and inspiring. Will perhaps write more on that another time. For now here is the link to the whole article I’ve mentioned above:

 

http://www.womankindmag.com/articles/why-we-need-more-time-and-less-clothes/

 

Hope you enjoy.

Pluto as a family share…

My mother’s chart ruler is Mercury conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 12th house.

When I think of this configuration I sense a split. Leo’s fiery energy somehow drowning in the contents of the 12th house, the most elusive of all.

The need to shine its uniqueness lost in union.

It feels like the sense of self is achieved only through, somehow, the transcendence of it.

Leo behind the scenes?

I am currently reading Lynn Bell’s book about planetary threads and family patterns and   it is blowing me away.

The idea that each and every family has a certain myth (or perhaps a number of them), and that we are all playing it out again and again, really fascinates me.

Im thinking of Pluto again. Pluto and my family.

I have Pluto at 0 degrees in the 12th house. My brother has a t-square involving Pluto. Both my grandparents, from my mother’s side, have Pluto at 0 degrees.

And my mother with her Mercury conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 12th.

So many times I felt like I was touching on very deep seated stuff. Stuff that goes beyond my personal, conscious life.

We inherit so much more than just our parents looks!

Lynn Bell talks about the possibility of being fated to (consciously or unconsciously) heal wounds from many generations before.

During this Pluto transit to my Moon I became aware, through my own body, of so many of my mother’s fears .

I could write more on the subject, but for now my split between self-expression and privacy is somehow speaking louder. It’s also a bit late now.

Perhaps another time…

In between worlds

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.

 

Full Moon highlights

We just had a full moon in Cancer on the 1 of January and will be having another one on the 31.

The first one was mildly intense for me. I had my brother and 2 other old friends from school staying over at my place for a few days. It was really nice to have them around and we did have fun.

But I also caught myself worrying about everyone else’s wellbeing and feeling stressed out most of the time.

It is interesting to see how during a full moon things get really heightened depending on what gets activated in your natal chart. Whatever issue is being transformed in a longer process (reflected by a long term transit) gets very much under the spotlight in some kind of exaggerated form if activated by the full moon.

During the last few days I could really see the people pleaser in me (reflected by my moon in Libra) and how difficult it was to assert myself and my needs.

They went back to London couple of days ago and Im still recovering and indulging myself in my own company, aware that on the 31 of January there will be a full moon eclipse exactly conjunct my MC/IC axis.

Financial struggles and perhaps some inflexibility on my part seem to be pushing me to move again.

(Its funny to see that even though I have lots of mutability in my chart and a natural willingness to adapt, having the ruler of the 6th house conjunct Uranus in the first house reflects a side of myself that is very stubborn and peculiar when it comes to daily job and routine…)

I might be getting a job at a community in the Forest of Dean, still waiting to hear from them.

And here we perhaps come full circle.

With the starting point reflected by Pluto transiting my Moon in early 2015 and me leaving my London life behind in search for a more meaningful way to live.

That does not mean that I won’t be working on my astrological practice anymore.

But I can see big changes heading my way, highlighted by the coming full moon eclipse.

Shadow work cast the light

I have presented a talk about the shadow in the horoscope on the 21 of December. The theme was chosen in relation to the season, it just made sense to talk about the shadow on the darkest day of the year.

When I was back at home I did my own private Yule ritual to honor and welcome the Sun’s rebirth.

And that’s when I fully realised that for the past month, whilst preparing my presentation (this time I had a projector available to use), I was doing intense shadow work myself.

{It is amazing to see how we naturally start resonating with whatever subject we decide to put our minds into.}

The last month has been one of the quietest, with no other occasional work to do, and I felt thrown back at myself.

A lot of anxious feelings and many of my insecurities came out to stare me in the face.

It was interesting to be going through yet another layer in this process, which, even though very challenging, seems to be strongly offering me an opportunity to grow and find my sense of self and solidity within rather than without.

(I truly feel that Pluto in Capricorn transiting my second house, and aspecting my Moon from there, symbolises my search for a different, perhaps more authentic, sense of security…)

With Saturn moving into Capricorn in the winter solstice as well, I also had the realisation that my ambitions were somehow being tested and needing reassessment.

My natal Sun is in the 10th house and vocation does seem to be the arena where my light shines the brightest, but it must come from the heart, not from an ego seeking validation!

My spiritual values and integrity have also been challenged throughout this shadow work period. The choices that I have been making so far, based in what I believe rather than “social ideas of success”, versus the incredibly intense insecurity and fear of being “wiped out” and not surviving in this world.

The whole thing got me thinking about community living once more and with a strong urge to move closer to nature again.

Liz Greene said in one of her Pluto webinars that when you are going through a Pluto transit, all of the profound changes that you experience individually are part of your role in the collective changes that Pluto’s cycles are actually reflecting.

Our personal drama gives us the guts and impulses that later on will compound the social transformation.

We are talking about survival here.

And with Pluto in Capricorn (and Saturn as well) I really feel that our survival depends on changing many of the basic values that our society is built upon, and that Donald Trump seems to be the personification of it, in a rather exaggerated form.

I am talking about patriarchy here.

The lack of connection and devaluation of the feminine (objectification of women, lack of connection and caring for the environment, profit coming before wellbeing, etc) and a distorted manifestation of masculinity, if not changed, will destroy us.

All of these rather important questions are the foundation of my need for reassessing ambitions.

How do I want to develop my astrology business in this world? What kind of contribution can I truly make without changing my life style?  How can I put my skills into service without feeding the patriarchal structures in our society?

Full Moon in Gemini and the heart of the mind..

I am in a cafe somewhere in Bristol now.

I had forgotten how much my house gets cold in the winter (I know is not even winter officially yet..).

No matter for how long we leave the heater on, as soon as we turn it off the whole house gets cold in a minute. Or so it seems..

I think I did not mind the cold so much last year because I remember being so thrilled by having a home again. It didn’t matter.

Anyways, enough of the moaning, I came to a cafe to see if I could be a little more productive outside my freezing house.

Tomorrow is the last Full Moon of 2017 which will take place at 11 degrees Gemini (and is a super moon, it will look bigger than usual!).

As I stare at the astrological chart for this Full Moon, I can’t help but think that issues of communication might come up in all forms and shapes..

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, which, conjunct to Saturn, will be turning retrograde on the same day of this Full Moon. The infamous Mercury retrograde is carrying some information on what the culmination of energy represented by the Full Moon is about..

Revisiting, rewriting, editing, reassessing.. (these are all words that connect with a more constructive side of Mercury’s cycles of retrogradation)

Not only that, planet Neptune at 11 degrees Pisces is forming an exact T square with the Sun and the Moon.

So we’ve got Saturn, Mercury retrograde and the Sun in Sagittarius, plus Neptune in Pisces holding important clues here and they are all ruled by Jupiter at 11 degrees Scorpio.

My take here is that instead of arguing about the truth or trying too hard to communicate our side of the story, is best to go back inwards and reconnect with our intuition.

Jupiter (ruling all those planets in Sag) is forming an exact trine to Neptune (the apex of the T square) and it seems like the realm of feelings, intuition and the imagination could have a particularly important role during this lunation.

I strongly see the transit of Jupiter through Scorpio as the reflection, and support at this time, of empowerment through healing our deep wounds. If we want to, we could somehow accomplish more on that department.

Jupiter in Scorpio at best speaks of expanding personal empowerment.

Empowering the Self (or your higher Self).

Use the strong energies of this beautiful Full Moon to connect more with your centre. Meditate, perform rituals, any spiritual practice could be of great aid in achieving clarity and understanding here.

I feel that this Full Moon is reflecting yet another stage on the collective (and individual!) process of healing the split between the rational mind and the heart.