I’ve just been through couple of very emotionally intense days.
Mars is retrograde making a conjunction to my Ascendant (plus the retrograde Pluto I guess) and I felt so much anger. I had forgotten how tiring it is to be angry. (I used to be angry more often when I was younger)
It’s also a bit upsetting to find yourself in those states when you are working so much towards your spiritual path. I know that there is no light without the darkness and that working with our shadow is a very important part of the process, but anger takes a lot and leaves me exhausted.
Anyways, my mother has called me again after a day to say that she is talking to my dad again and that he will be helping her. So she doesn’t need me there anymore.
Even though I’m not going anymore, just the thought of it made me purge kilos and kilos of childhood anger that was (perhaps is) still lingering somewhere in my psyche.
I was impressed by how many tears kept on coming out, and specially by the anger also towards my brother (?!) for never being there to take care of my mother in other occasions. I’ve also noticed tears of resentment (with some guilt for feeling that) for every time (not so many, but a few) that I had to be at the hospital with my mother. For being the one that had to pretend not to be suffering in order to comfort her.
Anyways, enough of that.
Yesterday we had a nice chat on the phone. In a way, the Pluto transit to my moon is also speaking about a deep change that she is going through. And she is. I felt very touched by that as we were chatting yesterday.
I hope I’m not being a bad daughter for making some space to work on my mother complex..