Saturn stabilising energy

I have been meaning to come back here for quite a while but just didn’t manage.

In the last month I’ve developed a taste for the magazine “Womankind” (amazingly beautiful and ad free, full of really interesting articles and interviews), continued reading books and worked on developing my new routine in the community Im living and working since February this year.

Since Pluto has made the last square to my natal Moon things seem to have settled within and without.

My boyfriend also got a job as a cook and has moved here with me since around March. We’ve met in July 2016, when Pluto was making the third or forth square to my Moon, and we have been developing what for me is the most authentic, challenging and rewarding partnership that I’ve ever had.

Since Pluto moved from the 2nd to the 3rd house in my chart issues connected with money and self sufficiency are slowly fading. I feel secure and quite solid materially speaking, which is a very different place to be compared to the last 6 years of insecurity and little money to spend.

I can buy things now. I can also invest money in education or travels if I wish to do so. (Jupiter is placed in the second house in my horoscope, can you tell?)

It is very interesting to observe how feelings and themes are constantly shifting in a synchronous dance with the cosmos.

Going from these long lasting years of emotional breakdown and a tragic, and intense, feeling of insecurity and death to regained confidence and solidity.

From transiting Pluto square natal Moon to transiting Saturn trine natal Mercury and Sun (with Uranus heading towards a trine to those natal planets as well).

I feel strong and capable. I also see recognition being bestowed upon myself in the community and at work. Me and my boyfriend have been offered a little wonderful house in the grounds where we work. We are finally going to have the chance to live on our own within the community.

And the house is amazing, with beautiful big windows facing the forest.

We move in less than a month.

Life has a funny way of developing if we dare allowing it enough space to do so.

Now in the last few days I’ve been contemplating applying for a master in cultural astronomy and astrology. I somehow feel that this could be a wonderful way of expressing these supportive and earthy transits that I am going through.

At my job I also have the opportunity for writing projects for training courses and I feel that this master course will perhaps be giving me much needed food for thought and inspiration.

I had my eye on this master degree for a while but was put off by my lack of stability and material security. How can I concentrate and write essays when Im not sure if I can pay the rent in the end of the month?

 

 

Brainstorming Uranus in Taurus..

Another busy week has gone by and Im feeling thankful for the well deserved rest ahead.

This week I went through a myriad of strong(ish) emotions.

Uranus has moved into Taurus forming an exact opposition to my 12th Pluto (co-ruler of my chart) and I could sense old issues welling up to consciousness once more.

I’ve been seriously studying/researching/practicing astrology for quite a few years now, and that has allowed me to identify certain themes connected with each configuration in my natal chart. And also to realise how they get triggered each time by different transits and progressions.

Lately I’ve been touching strange and uncomfortable states and feelings that most probably not only go back to the time I’ve spent in the womb, but very likely is also imprinted in the female lineage in my family.

I don’t particularly want to go too deep into that right now. But it is interesting to see the contents of the 12th house as being experienced for the first time during your mother’s pregnancy.

(I heard this for the first time in a talk presented by Faye Cossar at the LSA in London a few years ago and the idea resonated with me very much.)

Anyway, yesterday night, whilst having difficulties to sleep, I started brainstorming what could Uranus in Taurus be symbolically speaking of now.

Uranus reflects sudden change and revolution, disruption and breaking free from everything that holds us back. Uranus also resonates with processes of awakening and individuation.

I feel that while Uranus was transiting Aries (from 2011 until recently) it was asking from us to develop a stronger sense of individuality and “selfishness”. To develop your character and to do what you want independently of what other people think of you. To fight your own battles while developing a new sense of “I”, less dependent on others inputs.

And now, as a continuation in the process, perhaps Uranus in Taurus reflects a time for building something new from that fresh new sense of “individualness”.

It seems to me that Uranus in Taurus reflects a period of time when our most cherished values regarding security are going to be challenged and transformed. Attachments to jobs, relationships and situations that are preventing you from developing your individuality further will probably be removed in one way or another.

Perhaps this is a great time to invest more energy into building solidity and security within rather than without.

Pluto as a family share…

My mother’s chart ruler is Mercury conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 12th house.

When I think of this configuration I sense a split. Leo’s fiery energy somehow drowning in the contents of the 12th house, the most elusive of all.

The need to shine its uniqueness lost in union.

It feels like the sense of self is achieved only through, somehow, the transcendence of it.

Leo behind the scenes?

I am currently reading Lynn Bell’s book about planetary threads and family patterns and   it is blowing me away.

The idea that each and every family has a certain myth (or perhaps a number of them), and that we are all playing it out again and again, really fascinates me.

Im thinking of Pluto again. Pluto and my family.

I have Pluto at 0 degrees in the 12th house. My brother has a t-square involving Pluto. Both my grandparents, from my mother’s side, have Pluto at 0 degrees.

And my mother with her Mercury conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 12th.

So many times I felt like I was touching on very deep seated stuff. Stuff that goes beyond my personal, conscious life.

We inherit so much more than just our parents looks!

Lynn Bell talks about the possibility of being fated to (consciously or unconsciously) heal wounds from many generations before.

During this Pluto transit to my Moon I became aware, through my own body, of so many of my mother’s fears .

I could write more on the subject, but for now my split between self-expression and privacy is somehow speaking louder. It’s also a bit late now.

Perhaps another time…

Short note on Pluto and the 3rd house

Its been 3 months since I moved to this community in the Forest of Dean.

The Square from transiting Pluto to my natal Moon is slowly waning. But I still find difficult to translate into words all the colours and levels of transformation that I have been through in these last few years.

 

The whole urgency connected with survival and financial struggle has gone for now, and I find myself in a place of abundance (within and without!). Pluto has moved from the 2nd house into the 3rd in my astrological chart and my values seem to be a lot clearer and more solid.

But what Im finding interesting is that the flow of communication, specially the written word, seems to be a little constipated for now. I know how much I enjoy writing, and how many journals I’ve completed in the last few years, but lately it seems like Im not present enough to write anything new.

Im somehow lost in my thoughts for now.

Has any of you had Pluto transiting the 3rd house? How did that feel?

Reviewing rebirth

Mercury is about to go retrograde in Aries tomorrow.

Spring has also arrived and Im allowing myself to take a break to review the (constant) changes happening in my life.

With the majority of planets in mutable signs in my chart, Im doing one of the things I do best, Im adapting.

My daily routine is already pretty organised, with meditation in the morning and yoga in the evenings, and my work as a chef in between.

I feel that feeding people does bring me some joy and contentment, perhaps the Moon in the 11th house could be related to that. But I still have my sense of call strongly connected with astrology work.

In the midst of changes, (moving houses and cities, getting a full time job after a long time working either part time or for myself only), I felt the urge to focus on my daily routines and spiritual practice to keep myself balanced (or perhaps not to loose my mind…).

I have managed well I think. But was wondering how long would I last working on something that isn’t my true passion.

Then, last Saturday Buddhafield festival in the city was on, and I went to read tarot, but it turned out that I had my laptop on me and Wifi available, so I could also offer astrology readings to people.

It went amazingly well and I was fully booked pretty much the whole time I was there.

Having half an hour slots turned out to be a stimulating and interesting challenge to me, for I still prefer offering an opportunity for depth and empowerment rather than a brief list of ego praising characteristics.

New ideas came up, skills and things, and as a result, a review on what I can offer to my clients.

I also see (again and again) how much my process of growth is tied together with how effective my work can be, there is no separation here.

This is a great reminder to let go and trust. To stop comparing myself to others. To realise (again and again, again) that we are all unique and so is our path.

No rules or racing, for success is to be peaceful, healthily centred and content.

I have been contacted by two different people yesterday offering me work, one of which is a talk about Tarot, Astrology and Archetypes (excitement) and the other a potential opportunity for writing to a new astrology website.

Mercury’s retrogradation in Aries is perhaps reflecting an opportunity for rethinking strategies and plans of action, let’s make the most of it.

Splits in the psyche

Im almost all settled down in my new home in the Forest of Dean.

It’s interesting to see that, albeit somewhat painful, the process of moving really keep us in check with how much we have accumulated in our lives.

I don’t mean only material stuff but also stories and feelings…

Every time I move (and I have been moving quite a lot, compared to my childhood, in the last 10 years) I always make that a ritual for getting in touch with my deeper self.

The unchanging self that keeps me going.

I do that through reading passages of my (many) journals while I put them in a box to take with me.

Even though the rational-analytical in me is very strong, I can also sense a powerful emotional undercurrent happening in the process.

With many of my personal planets in Mutable signs I see changes as an important and necessary part of life. But in a strange way they also trigger a feeling of getting closer to death.

I can see my Ascendant in Scorpio playing its part in how I initiate things.

Death and grief are mixed up with the joy and excitement that guided me in making the decision to change in first place…

Mutable signs versus fixed signs in the astrological chart can reflect one of the potential splits in our psyche.

And Im writing this post in an attempt to give voice and integrate these two distinct sides in me.

 

In between worlds

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.

 

Full Moon highlights

We just had a full moon in Cancer on the 1 of January and will be having another one on the 31.

The first one was mildly intense for me. I had my brother and 2 other old friends from school staying over at my place for a few days. It was really nice to have them around and we did have fun.

But I also caught myself worrying about everyone else’s wellbeing and feeling stressed out most of the time.

It is interesting to see how during a full moon things get really heightened depending on what gets activated in your natal chart. Whatever issue is being transformed in a longer process (reflected by a long term transit) gets very much under the spotlight in some kind of exaggerated form if activated by the full moon.

During the last few days I could really see the people pleaser in me (reflected by my moon in Libra) and how difficult it was to assert myself and my needs.

They went back to London couple of days ago and Im still recovering and indulging myself in my own company, aware that on the 31 of January there will be a full moon eclipse exactly conjunct my MC/IC axis.

Financial struggles and perhaps some inflexibility on my part seem to be pushing me to move again.

(Its funny to see that even though I have lots of mutability in my chart and a natural willingness to adapt, having the ruler of the 6th house conjunct Uranus in the first house reflects a side of myself that is very stubborn and peculiar when it comes to daily job and routine…)

I might be getting a job at a community in the Forest of Dean, still waiting to hear from them.

And here we perhaps come full circle.

With the starting point reflected by Pluto transiting my Moon in early 2015 and me leaving my London life behind in search for a more meaningful way to live.

That does not mean that I won’t be working on my astrological practice anymore.

But I can see big changes heading my way, highlighted by the coming full moon eclipse.

Shadow work cast the light

I have presented a talk about the shadow in the horoscope on the 21 of December. The theme was chosen in relation to the season, it just made sense to talk about the shadow on the darkest day of the year.

When I was back at home I did my own private Yule ritual to honor and welcome the Sun’s rebirth.

And that’s when I fully realised that for the past month, whilst preparing my presentation (this time I had a projector available to use), I was doing intense shadow work myself.

{It is amazing to see how we naturally start resonating with whatever subject we decide to put our minds into.}

The last month has been one of the quietest, with no other occasional work to do, and I felt thrown back at myself.

A lot of anxious feelings and many of my insecurities came out to stare me in the face.

It was interesting to be going through yet another layer in this process, which, even though very challenging, seems to be strongly offering me an opportunity to grow and find my sense of self and solidity within rather than without.

(I truly feel that Pluto in Capricorn transiting my second house, and aspecting my Moon from there, symbolises my search for a different, perhaps more authentic, sense of security…)

With Saturn moving into Capricorn in the winter solstice as well, I also had the realisation that my ambitions were somehow being tested and needing reassessment.

My natal Sun is in the 10th house and vocation does seem to be the arena where my light shines the brightest, but it must come from the heart, not from an ego seeking validation!

My spiritual values and integrity have also been challenged throughout this shadow work period. The choices that I have been making so far, based in what I believe rather than “social ideas of success”, versus the incredibly intense insecurity and fear of being “wiped out” and not surviving in this world.

The whole thing got me thinking about community living once more and with a strong urge to move closer to nature again.

Liz Greene said in one of her Pluto webinars that when you are going through a Pluto transit, all of the profound changes that you experience individually are part of your role in the collective changes that Pluto’s cycles are actually reflecting.

Our personal drama gives us the guts and impulses that later on will compound the social transformation.

We are talking about survival here.

And with Pluto in Capricorn (and Saturn as well) I really feel that our survival depends on changing many of the basic values that our society is built upon, and that Donald Trump seems to be the personification of it, in a rather exaggerated form.

I am talking about patriarchy here.

The lack of connection and devaluation of the feminine (objectification of women, lack of connection and caring for the environment, profit coming before wellbeing, etc) and a distorted manifestation of masculinity, if not changed, will destroy us.

All of these rather important questions are the foundation of my need for reassessing ambitions.

How do I want to develop my astrology business in this world? What kind of contribution can I truly make without changing my life style?  How can I put my skills into service without feeding the patriarchal structures in our society?

Full Moon in Gemini and the heart of the mind..

I am in a cafe somewhere in Bristol now.

I had forgotten how much my house gets cold in the winter (I know is not even winter officially yet..).

No matter for how long we leave the heater on, as soon as we turn it off the whole house gets cold in a minute. Or so it seems..

I think I did not mind the cold so much last year because I remember being so thrilled by having a home again. It didn’t matter.

Anyways, enough of the moaning, I came to a cafe to see if I could be a little more productive outside my freezing house.

Tomorrow is the last Full Moon of 2017 which will take place at 11 degrees Gemini (and is a super moon, it will look bigger than usual!).

As I stare at the astrological chart for this Full Moon, I can’t help but think that issues of communication might come up in all forms and shapes..

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, which, conjunct to Saturn, will be turning retrograde on the same day of this Full Moon. The infamous Mercury retrograde is carrying some information on what the culmination of energy represented by the Full Moon is about..

Revisiting, rewriting, editing, reassessing.. (these are all words that connect with a more constructive side of Mercury’s cycles of retrogradation)

Not only that, planet Neptune at 11 degrees Pisces is forming an exact T square with the Sun and the Moon.

So we’ve got Saturn, Mercury retrograde and the Sun in Sagittarius, plus Neptune in Pisces holding important clues here and they are all ruled by Jupiter at 11 degrees Scorpio.

My take here is that instead of arguing about the truth or trying too hard to communicate our side of the story, is best to go back inwards and reconnect with our intuition.

Jupiter (ruling all those planets in Sag) is forming an exact trine to Neptune (the apex of the T square) and it seems like the realm of feelings, intuition and the imagination could have a particularly important role during this lunation.

I strongly see the transit of Jupiter through Scorpio as the reflection, and support at this time, of empowerment through healing our deep wounds. If we want to, we could somehow accomplish more on that department.

Jupiter in Scorpio at best speaks of expanding personal empowerment.

Empowering the Self (or your higher Self).

Use the strong energies of this beautiful Full Moon to connect more with your centre. Meditate, perform rituals, any spiritual practice could be of great aid in achieving clarity and understanding here.

I feel that this Full Moon is reflecting yet another stage on the collective (and individual!) process of healing the split between the rational mind and the heart.