Pre Pluto-Moon destruction..

I was thinking about writing a post with more focus on astrological stuff but at the moment I just can’t.

I’m feeling a massive rush of strange emotions that are preventing me from sending energy into my rational faculties..

(I can’t or perhaps I just don’t want to be too analytical now.)

Five minutes ago I was taking a look at my 2016 ephemeris and with agony seeing (again) that Pluto will shortly be squaring my natal moon to the exact degree for the 3rd time. Feeling anxious to see (not that I haven’t seeing it before) that Pluto will be in the same degree of my Moon for the next 6 months.

In general I do tend to be a positive type of person, always seeing pain as the side effect of growth. (just like Donna Cunningham beautifully explains on her book “Healing Pluto problems”)

But fucking hell, during the last two exact hits from transiting Pluto I had to deal with so much pain and emotional detox that I felt more than overwhelmed by it.

At the moment I don’t feel it yet (pain), but the wave of anxiety is enormous.

Restlessness and discomfort.

I remember when I watched the film “Dancer in the Dark” with Bjork. The death row scene really hit me.

That was a long time ago, I was still quite young, but I remember to think of how terrifying it probably is to know that you’re walking towards death. My palms were sweaty and I felt terribly anxious every time I watched. (I saw the movie couple of times)

This is probably the best way I can use to describe my feelings at this pre Pluto-Moon moment.

I know I’m walking towards death..

Discomfort in my stomach, sweaty palms.. and the honest knowing that there is no way it is not going to be painful.

One more time that mess of guts and blood all over the place, and me on the floor, painfully turned inside out..