Venus has turned retrograde with the last full moon in Gemini and has been hovering around Pluto for quite some time now and this post is a reflexive product of it somehow. As usual a mix of personal experience and food for thought which I hope you might find useful, or inspiring, or at least entertaining.
Mercurial wanderings…
I sometimes find it amusing the way that our society works. Not that I am completely outside of it, of course not. But with the strong Aquarian, Uranian, 11th house and out of bounds emphasis in my natal chart, I confess that it feels like I am ‘out of bounds’ myself most of the time. I don’t think I always fully understand the logic behind some of our taken for granted agreements.
I see a powerfully strong Capricorn theme when it comes to work ethics, productivity, goals, and visions of success. Ambition is very high rated, material gratification too. But I am also especially thinking about the idea of ‘professionalism’ here.
When did we stop valuing humanness and buying into this concept that absolute detachment equals a more ‘professional’ and capable approach? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for ethics, in a deeper sense, I would say. But the coldness that usually accompanies the generally accepted ‘professionalism’ really hugs me, no, I mean bugs me.
Another thing that comes to mind is how value is attributed to money and how much not having money has a detrimental effect on self-esteem. It is difficult to value yourself if not having enough money prevents you from having a voice, from making choices and being considered important by other members of society.
As my secondary progressed ascendant slowly transitions from Sagittarius into Capricorn (it has already made the shift in Solar Arc direction last year), the more I see myself valuing professionalism and the material realm without losing sight of some of the questions stated above. I have most of the time considered myself a freedom loving and informal type of person – always hated the hypocrisy that sometimes being ‘professional’ makes you comply with.
But now I see myself getting increasingly tired of the hippish approach to life and really feeling the need to gather all my professional experience (which by now is kind of considerable as I’m no spring chick anymore…) and put it into one place. Have a brand – (did I really say that?!) – and make a proper income (whatever that means) solo from astrology work. Get myself deeply involved with the potential productivity, which is quite vast considering the possibilities that the internet and digital era offers us.
You see, these words seem like a great example of what we could be doing during this cycle of retrogradation from Venus in Capricorn. Ask ourselves where we are going and if that place is truly aligned with our core values. I would also say, as I think about the shift that my progressed ascendant seems to be reflecting, this could be a great time for catching up with your shifting values too. What important and major themes in your life are slowly fading and losing their grip on you now? How aligned are you with your natural changes and the resulting new-born values within it?
Recently, while I was trying to relax and enjoy the holiday season, I decided to reread my last journal – another great thing to do during one of the fast-moving planets’ cycles of retrogradation. It can be wonderfully insightful to be able to see your process and how (surprisingly) congruent it usually is with how you intuitively feel from moment to moment.
This time I was surprised to see how much had been written about my search for a fulfilling relationship (another relevant topic for this Venus retrograde period) and how to get there by being clear about what I really want – my natal Venus/Neptune square has been transited by Pluto, whilst progressed Venus conjoined natal Saturn.
There is no healthy relationship without healthy boundaries.
I can’t remember where I read this, or who mentioned it to me, but it is so true.
In one entry from my journal, I wrote:
‘Is this what self-worth looks like? Making difficult choices that puts your mental/emotional/physical wellbeing first? I guess so. His love life is a mess that I don’t want to be part of – There is no role for me there, at least, there isn’t a role that I am willing to play.’
And later I wrote:
‘It is exciting to be able to be more myself and less of what people want me to be’, with the conclusion that more validation coming from within gives space for authenticity to be truly expressed out there.
If you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around someone, or if that person does not support your authenticity and shows no appreciation for who you are, always making demeaning comments or trying to change you into what they want you to be, it is a sign that this might not be the right relationship for you.
Remember, you are nobody else’s dream! (that used to be a little note to myself, natal Venus-Neptune’s things…)
And these thoughts also remind me of psychotherapist Mark Vernon’s great article ‘What is Love?’ where, amongst other things, the author discuss the idea that love grows through conflict – and that in fact, the secret of a successful relationship many times is in our capacity to deal with disagreement and not necessarily in our capacity to love. In his words ‘an inability to handle conflict is a good predictor of divorce’.
According to Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ‘experience shows us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction’, and for that to happen, we have the obligation (with ourselves, more than anyone else) to know our values! To be (absolutely) aware of the importance and urgency of asking ourselves: what do I value the most in life, partnerships, career, daily choices, etc?! With Venus retrograde this is the perfect time for you to seriously (Capricorn) and deeply (conjoined Pluto) ask yourself these questions, get to the bottom-line of your core values and how much they might be changing. Cath up with them, ponder on them. Befriend them, for in a way, your values define who you are.