On the current Mars’ transits

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meSearch for home

The last few days have been mental and beyond intense. Somehow I got dragged into a drama that does not have much to do with me, apart from being the friend of one of the persons involved. I don’t really want to get into the details of everything as it isn’t worth it, but I was locked out from my house at 10 in the evening and the shock and absurdity of that situation for me was absolutely maddening. It was traumatising, to say the least, and it made me think about all of the people out there suffering in abusive relationships.

My heart is with you and I hope that you can heal and manage to break out from whichever pattern of hurt and suffering you feel you’re stuck in.

Astrologers know and have been talking about the myriad of challenging astrological transits for 2020 for quite sometime already, and we are currently navigating the energies reflected by Mars in Aries in square to Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn in Capricorn.

They manifested in quite a real way in my case, with a touch of physical violence included, but it doesn’t have to be that way. What I think is that whatever intensity and anger that came up to us now is pointing out to the changes that we are contemplating and aware of their need for quite sometime already.

We have to be brave to be the best we can be, to leave behind whatever, or whoever, feels familiar but does not embrace and support this best version of ourselves.

Raise up to the challenge!

Use the current energies to embrace courage (Mars in Aries) and to take constructive action towards a better life. Learn about healthy boundaries, and about not blaming other people for your shortcomings. Take responsibility for your process, and your process only. You can’t take anyone else with you, you can’t change anyone or ‘make’ them behave in one way or another. It’s about you and what you want in your life.

May we all find creative and constructive ways of working with the challenging changes ahead!

Full Moon in Aquarius and Authenticity

by with No Comment Astrology and meSearch for home

Im not sure how I missed out the fact that the coming full moon will be exactly conjoined my natal IC in Aquarius this coming Monday.

I guess that when you start studying astrology you become so keen that you never miss something like that, but once you have been studying it consistently for a few years, you then start to take the fast moving transits a bit for granted. Or maybe you just realise that every month there will be a new moon, and a full moon, etc…

But lunations do trigger long lasting transits, solar arc directions and secondary progressions. They have a way of emotionally intensifying whatever it is that you are going through.

I am working on my last assignment before my masters’ thesis and it happens to be a sky journal, a piece of phenomenological research on my observations of how the weather affects me emotionally. One of the themes that came up from the exercise is the awareness of a strong connection between weather x culture, home and belonging.

Lots of food for thought and it amazes me that for my last essay I am doing such a personal piece of work which enables me to explore an issue that feels so urgent to me right now. What and where is home? All of the internal work that took place during the transit from Pluto to my natal Moon still hasn’t given me the answer. I feel closer to finding it out maybe, but the concept of home still eludes me…

Back to the full moon though.

I have the feeling that this full moon will be triggering and challenging to reveal the amount of authenticity in our lives at the moment. Are we really in the right place? Are we really being ourselves in whatever situation that we are going through?

The full moon will be square to Uranus in Taurus and Venus (ruler of Taurus) might have some clues on how to solve the dilemma represented by this t square. Venus is in Gemini and very close to the North Node, so allowing people the space needed to find out what they need to find out, rationality and open communication afterwards might be what we need. Perhaps there is something that we will need to communicate regarding the process that Venus retrograde was reflecting earlier this year as well. Also these days Venus formed the last of 3 squares to Neptune (which started in May), and some resolutions regarding previous confusion might be a possibility with this full moon as well.

What are your values, what is important to you in order to feel loved? Are you happy with the flow of give and take in your relationships or are you giving more than receiving? And if that’s the case, why? These are some of the questions worth asking ourselves now..

Astrology and Seasons!

by with 4 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

Omnia tempus habent… (All things have their season) – Ecclesiastes 

As I finish preparing my powerpoint presentation for my webinar tonight on secondary progressions here I am again, feeling baffled with the accuracy of astrological symbolism.

All things have their season, and prognostication is about that. It isn’t (not for me anyway) about predicting what the future holds or what is going to happen exactly, it is about realising your inner (and outer) season. Work with nature rather than against it, you wouldn’t try to harvest things during winter, etc.

There is the right time for everything. And astrological symbolism can help you not only to understand that, but also to align yourself with it. What a wonderful tool, albeit often misunderstood, astrology is.

As my progressed Moon makes its way towards my natal IC, boxes, removals, decorating and furniture permeates many of my conversations as well as my mind. I want to create a proper ‘nest’, a strong base where I can get in touch with my creativity (which will probably be happening once my progressed Moon moves into my 5th house I guesss…) and do more of the work that I love doing. Free myself up from some of the mundane preoccupation and fully dedicate myself to my master’s dissertation and my astrology practice.

Live a life that’s more aligned with what I want to do daily, focus my energy. (I guess I can also hear my progressed ascendant moving to Capricorn here!) I really look forward to being able to focus more and travel less (a little less anyway…).

Are you aware of your secondary progressions right now?!

A note on progressions

by with 7 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

Have you experimented with secondary progressions much?

I have been observing it for a few years now, a few times that my progressed moon has shifted signs for example, and watched how that manifested in my life. But it was only today, whilst preparing one of my webinars on prognostication, that it actually clearly dawned on me how much progressions relates to internal transitions and our inner reality.

Currently my progressed Moon is just about to conjoin my natal IC, which in a few months will then be transited by Jupiter and Saturn; followed by Pluto a few years down the line. Whatever is brewing within myself regarding belonging, home, family, and a reconnection with my roots will have a long lasting effect, it seems.

For the last 12 years I have been living in the UK and travelling around, I have been living a very nomad life style, always on the go without allowing any roots to become too strong and prevent me from experiencing what it seemed like ‘freedom’. My relocated chart in England has Sagittarius rising, with my Mars-Uranus quite close to it, and exactly conjoined my South Node in Sag. I feel free around here…

But it turns out that I am not sure this is what I want anymore, and when I check my progressed chart I see my p. ASC just about to move from Sagittarius to Capricorn, there is a huge shift happening within myself. It is really baffling to be able to see them so clearly reflected on my progressed chart!

Since my Moon progressed to Aquarius I have been thinking about home a lot, about Brazil, about my cultural heritage. I’ve been missing to speak my language and the small silent understanding that talking with someone from where you come from brings you.

I never thought this would happen! But as my progressed Moon moves closer and closer to my natal IC, these issues are becoming greater and greater. And I wonder what is the point on keeping the so called ‘freedom’ in detriment to human connection? As humans, do we all need to have and develop a sense of belonging and being accepted?

I also think about the easiness, the recognition, the familiarity which is calling me louder and louder from within. This is the progressed chart manifesting in a very obvious way in my life…

Saturnian Quarantine, times of change!

by with 3 Comments Astrological InsightsSearch for home

I’ve been back in the UK for the past 5 days and things here (regarding the corona virus) are more heated than it was in Brazil when I left (apparently the panic is beginning to catch up there too).

My friend has left to Brazil and I’ve decided to live in Brighton, a small town on the beach 50 minutes by train from London. Im currently staying at his bedroom until the girls in the bedroom next door (which is meant to be mine) are able to travel (they were planning to go to USA and Spain, both have their boarders shut at the moment).

In moments like this I think of what Liz Greene said about the outer planets talking about collective movements of change related to survival and how much we individuals have little to say regarding that. Some things are beyond our control and we would do good in keeping our peace and mental health in any way that works for us. Meditation, prayer, drawing, painting, dancing, jogging… you name it. Whatever works!

This is actually what I wanted to write about in here. We are in a situation where a quarantine is somehow ‘forced’ upon us, take that as an opportunity to go back to yourself. To reflect upon your life, your choices, your values and who you are in the most authentic way. Who are you? What do you truly need? How can you best contribute with the transformation that we (collectively) and the world seems to be going through?

Jupiter and Mars joining in the conjunction of Pluto and Saturn in Capricorn seems to be reflecting this ’emergency crisis’ in the forefront and I feel this to be symbolising what has been going on in the last few years, a big political and economic crisis. It seems like we are hitting a point where we cannot ignore what is going on anymore. The structures that organize our society are purging and in need for massive transformation.

How can we contribute in this process?

This is one of the questions that we could ask ourselves during the quarantine. What would we like to see more in the world? It’s another one.

By the end of the year Saturn and Jupiter will conjoin in Aquarius marking the beginning of a long cycle in the air element (it will be a change from earth to air) and a 20 year cycle focusing in the aquarian archetype.

Aquarius at best connects with humanitarianism, how individuals can best contribute with the group, progress in a digital sense and acceleration of time (more?). As Jessica Murray said, we will be moving from materialism to idealism.

How is the best way that we, as individuals, can take responsibility in this process?

I think that the answers to some of these big questions could come up as we take advantage of this quarantine to do some soul searching rather than wallow in fear and panic.

What kind of society would you like to see manifesting, starting from your neighbourhood?!

Neptunian longings …

by with No Comment Astrological InsightsAstrology and meSearch for home

Im feeling tremendously nostalgic as I prepare myself emotionally to move on from the past six months spent in Brazil. Its like I already miss everything around here so much…

Then I looked into the astrological chart of this moment and realised that the Sun is exactly conjoined Neptune in the sky. I tend to feel the Sun as a big spotlight that illuminates whatever else it touches, so in that sense, Neptune is really under the spotlight right now.

My melancolia has this Piscean Neptune’s signature.

I have always found hard to write about Neptune but Liz Greene’s book on Neptune really helped me understanding this archetypal dimension of life a bit more. She talked about it in relationship to a few different possibilities/themes like for example martyrdom, victimisation, art, transcendence, nostalgia, the scapegoat, and many other dimensions, including the longing to go back to the source.

This is such a complex and yet simple idea to think about, the longing to be in union with everything once again, a sense that resonates with the experience of being in the womb. It touches one of the main points regarding Neptune I believe, for Neptune really talks about our boundaries being easily dissolved. Compassion is a potential manifestation of this phenomena, but victimisation, a less pleasant one, is also a possibility when Neptune features strongly. They are two sides of the same coin.

With transiting Sun in an exact conjunction to Neptune I think that our longings are bound to come to the surface now. In my case is connected with the sense of belonging and searching for home, but I think that this might be a coverup to this deeper longing to stay in union, to go back and swim in the waters of the goddess’s womb. To be one again.

Today and tomorrow, and perhaps for this whole lunation cycle so rich in Neptunian energy since the New Moon was also conjoined with Neptune, we would do well in being aware of this longing underneath what we think we need. We would do well also in honouring this energy consciously by writing poetry, or painting, or appreciating beautiful music… anything that can help us dissolve the boundaries in a constructive way…

How are you feeling?   …

Pluto-Moon transit update and roots

by with No Comment Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

In less than a month I will be heading back to the UK after almost 6 months living in Brazil. I have mixed feelings and think about how much the decision of living outside your home country changes things for good.

Where then is home?

For many years I rejected Brazil as my place of origin and adopted the foreigner identity, but now this seems to be changing again. I don’t feel completely Brazilian in a cliche sort of way, but I also don’t feel ‘not Brazilian’ anymore either.

These feelings made me think about writing a sort of update on my long lasting/ongoing Pluto-Moon transit.

For the last 5 years much has happened in connection to transiting Pluto forming a square to my natal Moon.

(if you’re curious about this whole process just click on the tag ‘Pluto Square Moon’)

I now find myself a lot more balanced and emotionally honest, giving more space for healthier emotional bonds in my life, and the list really goes on. Feeling more secure within myself, more solid, living what seems to be a more authentic life, more courageous in lots of different levels, with a transformed relationship with my mother but also the inner mother has changed a lot… (the list really goes on…) but…

I still find myself without a home.

Since I moved out from London in early 2015 I’ve travelled a lot and experimented a lot. I’ve developed myself through moving around, also through gathering the courage and guts to move on my own. I lived in Bristol, in Thailand for 3 months, I hitchhiked for 3 months, I’ve worked on summer festivals by myself, I moved to a community in the Forest of Dean for a year and a half, I came back to sense myself in Brazil for 6 months… I’ve put down roots just to shortly pull them up again.

I think I did a lot. (A lot of moving around, definitely)

Now, as I stare into my temporary keyring which is once more with multiple sets of keys (one for my mom’s, one for my friend’s where I currently live, and one from the guy I’ve been dating)  I wonder how long it will take until I’m able to have a home that’s not so much temporary…

How long until I can put down roots which will grow a little further than usual?

I am looking into buying a flat in Sao Paulo with my father and my intuition says that perhaps my 12 year chapter in England is coming to an end…

At the moment transiting Pluto is forming a trine/sextile to my ASC-DSC axis and trine to my natal Venus, but it will eventually conjunct my IC in Aquarius. And I wonder what will be the condition of my roots by then…

I also find interesting the fact that my Progressed Moon is in Aquarius, the sign of my IC, and in 6 months it will be crossing over it and into my 4th house, exactly when Im thinking about coming back to Brazil to spend another 6 months, but by then, possibly with a flat of my own.

Housing crisis

by with 4 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

I have a few minutes for catching up with processes that are happening here.

Some posts back I talked about my progressed moon moving to Aquarius, the same sign on my IC, and the continuation of my journey in search for home, but this time,  reconnecting with my Brazilian roots.

During the New Moon in Sagittarius I moved to a friend’s house here in Sao Paulo so now Im living most of the week with her and couple of days with my parents. I was just packing some of my stuff to go back from her place to my mother’s where I will see a client later today for an astrology session.

As I was packing my things I thought about the amount of traveling and moving around that I have been doing since 2015 when Pluto did the first exact square to my natal Moon. At that time things were so emotionally intense that travelling from place to place gave me some sort of solace from all the intensity that was coming up to me.

This time is different, I am more balanced and less haunted by the emotional detox reflected by the Pluto Moon stuff, but I do notice myself feeling a little tired of all of the moving around (at least today?).

Yesterday night I was asking myself where is home?  I get bored indeed and have been consistently moving houses, jobs, cities, etc, but I wonder, is there a time when I am going to be able to settle down a bit more? Will I ever have a home of my own?

I am used to temporary situations, I am used to being quite mutable and taking one day at the time and building a momentary home with whatever I have available, but I am wondering more and more (perhaps the progressed Moon/IC thing) when is this going to end… if ever? Will I have a bit more stability regarding housing?

I have no answer to these questions yet, but it was a great relief to move out from my parents (again) and spend a few solid days on my own. As we grow older it becomes clearer how much space we need for ourselves, to do our own cooking, to decide how to get on with our day without being judged…

These last few days reflected how important for me is to be regularly alone, how necessary is to withdraw from activities and outside stimuli so I can process my feelings and understand what is going on with me. It has been 2 months since I arrived in Brazil and I did not have quality time on my own to feel my feelings, to catch up with myself properly.

I say no to this world populated by extroverted people constantly achieving and doing things out there. I want to achieve and do things in here. Inside me.

 

Progressed Moon conjunct IC

by with 4 Comments Astrological InsightsAstrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

I’ve been back in Brazil for just over 3 weeks and much has happened already, or has it not?!

Since my progressed Moon entered the sign of my natal IC in the beginning of September my attention has naturally turned towards exploring and understanding more about my roots.

I’ve been socialising quite a bit and going out observing everything with the curiosity of an anthropologist doing field work in some remote and yet familiar place.

I used to feel that I don’t belong here, and for the first time I am willing to recognise a slight sense of belonging that seems to be increasing as time goes by…

Not sure.

Perhaps Im getting more comfortable with being part of the syncretism that I come from. Being some sort of Alien Frankenstein (how much Aquarius on the IC does this sound?!) returning ‘home’… home?!

Transiting Saturn is forming its last square to my natal Moon and I don’t feel the typical symptoms associated with this transit: loneliness, depression, etc. I really don’t, which is a reminder to never dismember astrological symbolism too much. What I sense happening instead, is me questioning if I should come back to live here…  or not…

Reflections on life’s changes…

by with 16 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

I am getting ready to move out from where I’ve been living for the past year and a half.

Writing down organisational lists, to do lists, to let go lists, getting very organised, after all, is Virgo season!

I don’t feel devastated or fearful.

Having a Pluto transit to the natal Moon works as a kind of painful initiation. The transit is still within orb for me, and I guess all this moving around in the last 4 years is a reflection of it.

This moving out is also marking the end of a relationship that began when Pluto was forming the 3rd exact square to my natal Moon.  I have learned a lot and there are not many regrets, I try to look forward to my next steps.

I actually catch myself feeling excited about these changes as I think that my life was somehow stuck in a rut. My job as a chef and volunteer’s coordinator in the community wasn’t doing anymore for a long time. Working full time in something that isn’t my true passion is very difficult for me. Well… I think that working full time is difficult for me in most circumstances, if we consider full time hours as 40 hours per week.

That is crazy!! I mean, what about time for yourself, for organising your life, or taking care of our basic needs for food and personal hygiene etc, plus our needs for novelty and creative endeavours, plus our need to stimulate our intellect… Jesus, working 40 hours a week makes quite impossible to do all of that in a well balanced manner.

I cannot do that.

I believe, selfishly or not, that the belief that we have to be constantly productive and working is a fallacy. I probably have written about this here many times in different ways, but I cannot stress this idea enough. We need time to wonder, to just be. That is not laziness, is rather a necessity for our mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Screw the full time hours system!

Thats the thing, I feel so excited and happy and relieved that I am free again to think about whatever I want to think about, that the sadness of leaving or breaking up isn’t making such a huge impact on me at the moment. I think I have grieved quite intensely during the new moon eclipse in July so I feel ready to move on again.

As tiresome, hard work and uncomfortable as moving out and changes in general can be, I love and need them rather often… or so it seems. Or is that the Pluto transit still in orb with my Moon?

The fact is, and here is a Uranus/Mars conjunct in Sag in the first house speaking, I thrive in change and it seems to me such a delusional idea that one day there will be a plateau of peace and contentment in life capable of leaving changes and disruptions at bay. And as human beings I think that we somehow gravitate towards this idea of placidity and total fulfillment in a somewhat unchangeable situation. No…

The only constant is change.

We are a process, a life process, constantly changing and expanding, and there is nothing we can do about that other than aligning ourselves as best as we can and dance to the music… life will throw different rhythms at different times, and astrologically we can associate that to planetary transits, and somehow there is less suffering in surrendering to these rhythms.

Cheers to life!