Darkening hours

I had just about the worst night I’ve had in ages.

I woke up around 3:30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Not only that, but had to be the container for a whole range of dark feelings for hours. It was like a well pouring out many variations of anxiety and worries.

I can’t even pinpoint what it is exactly, I don’t really know what caused it. But I think that I can recognise too well the plutonian flavour to what just happened.

Another layer of unconscious fears are being purged.

Then, under the grips of my restlessness I casted the chart for the coming full moon in Aries on the 16th of October (only a few days ahead..) and couldn’t help but notice my breath getting shortened as I looked at the symbols.

Casted for Bristol, ¬†where I am currently living, the Ascendant is 29 degrees Virgo. It’s ruler, Mercury, is at 15 degrees Libra making an exact square to Pluto in Capricorn (with Mars in Capricorn not too far away..) and both activating my natal Moon at 15 degrees Libra.

Was that enough reflection of what’s brewing inside me?!

I saw the myriad of red lines between the planets running in my bloodstream and the tension, symbolically represented in the drawing, was strongly felt in the darkest hour today.

I don’t see the planets causing anything to me, but rather reflecting what goes on inside me.

Around 6am I was sitting down straight in my bed and trying my best to meditate. Trying to just watch those feelings with awareness. Trying hard not to get my head involved in story telling.

The alchemical work has to be done, there is no other choice.

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