Reflections in the darkness

(Written last night)

There was a thunderstorm here earlier today and we are still out of electricity, it has probably been around 5 hours and a half already (already?) and time moves very slow. These words just made me think about the energy reflected by the symbolism of Uranus, which is usually linked to electricity and lightning bolt speed insights.

Uranus and boredom don’t go very well, in my vision.

Interesting to see myself without all of these gadgets that electric power enables us to have on our daily life, our daily routines. How much of my experience of reality changes, how much more presence can I feel versus how much more boredom? Or do I feel as much boredom in my daily life but just have a myriad of different options of gadgets that serves best as a distraction for myself and, at the same time, a distraction from myself?

For now, I still have my laptop, though with only 20 per cent of battery, so a few more ‘not sure how many minutes’ moments for me, and I just caught myself writing this and moving my thoughts again to ‘when will the electricity finally come back’?

It’s helpless.

But another interesting idea that just came to my mind is observing how much more limited having a laptop without wifi is. What really is the internet? This blob of connections with a massive capacity for keeping information, sort of like a giant invisible brain that forms and keeps connections. Infinite connections. Infinite combinations and possibilities?

And then there is me here, disconnected. But I somehow hear the sounds of my neighbours more clearly, and the children laughing at a distance, I think they might be playing on the street? Sounds like they’re having fun. There is electricity on that side though and I wonder if the laughter is caused by a distraction or by more presence in playful games. Sounds like they’re running.

And I listen. And I also hear my thoughts, and my feelings seem to be a little louder by candlelight. I’m not really sure.

Coming back to what perhaps my first idea in writing this piece was on and the relationship to astrology and some material that I’ve been recently reading on ‘Deep Ecology’. I read a very interesting paper where the author critically discusses the relationship between ‘Social justice’, ‘Mysticism’ and ‘Deep Ecology’ and different possible combinations between the three. For example, sometimes criticising mysticism and at other times arguing that the feeling underlining mystical experiences is the same feeling described by Deep Ecology and is a requirement for a change of paradigm powerful enough to promote the social changes we are so much in need for. (or is this the idealism of Uranus speaking through me here?)

I excitedly ask myself if astrology can promote a mystical experience by reconnecting us with the cosmos and the sense of unity which always seems to be importantly present in the description of these kinds of experiences. Maybe I will pursue this question in my dissertation.

Anyway, my insight is that this year of 2020 seems to be an important one regarding ecology and collective change especially reflected by Saturn and Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius that will happen later on this year. And how can we make these necessary changes without changing ourselves first? Impossible I believe.

How can we become greener in our psyches? And I don’t mean here becoming greener by only cutting down your consume of meat or plastic, although these changes on routine and priorities are also an important part of the process. I mean doing the inner work at the same time. Changing our old patterns of thinking and behaviour, becoming more conscious and elevated in our self-awareness and relationship to each other and to the world around us.

And how is that process going for you?

Only 15 per cent of battery left for me and still no sign of electricity. Dogs are now barking in the background. And I listen.

Progressed Moon conjunct IC

I’ve been back in Brazil for just over 3 weeks and much has happened already, or has it not?!

Since my progressed Moon entered the sign of my natal IC in the beginning of September my attention has naturally turned towards exploring and understanding more about my roots.

I’ve been socialising quite a bit and going out observing everything with the curiosity of an anthropologist doing field work in some remote and yet familiar place.

I used to feel that I don’t belong here, and for the first time I am willing to recognise a slight sense of belonging that seems to be increasing as time goes by…

Not sure.

Perhaps Im getting more comfortable with being part of the syncretism that I come from. Being some sort of Alien Frankenstein (how much Aquarius on the IC does this sound?!) returning ‘home’… home?!

Transiting Saturn is forming its last square to my natal Moon and I don’t feel the typical symptoms associated with this transit: loneliness, depression, etc. I really don’t, which is a reminder to never dismember astrological symbolism too much. What I sense happening instead, is me questioning if I should come back to live here…  or not…

Full Moon in Scorpio intensity

I finally managed to finish and submit my assignment for the MA and I feel happy that I can read and write about something else now.

The next Full Moon will be taking place on the 18th of May at 27 degrees Scorpio, not too far from my ASC, and I think that I already feel the emotional intensity of this one.

There will be a stellium in Taurus, with Sun and Mercury conjoined, plus Venus and Uranus conjoined at 4 and 3 degrees of Taurus respectively. I feel a strong heavy energy of fixed earth trying to let go and make a move, a strange picture as many of the star signs reflected in the sky have a connection with a strong urge for emotional and material security.  (Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn)

Another point that I  observed is that the moon will be in mutual reception with mars in cancer, both in detriment/fall, and I have the feeling that much emotional release combined with the realisation of emotional defences that are being a hindrance not only in our relationships but also in our personal journey towards individuation will be intensely coming to the surface.

Mars will also be applying to a square with Chiron in Aries, again giving me the feeling that we will be in touch with those wounds connected with our sense of individuality, independency and will power; what we want at odds with what we need in order to feel safe? What we want to do in conflict with what loved ones want from us?

With Venus strongly placed in its own sign, being the dispositor of the Sun/Mercury/Uranus, and conjoined Uranus, the feeling that we must get in touch with our own values is paramount here. The taurean Venus speaks of, amongst other things, our self-steam and capacity for self-reliability. Bring Uranus in the picture and we have a big wake up call regarding those values, and I think that separation is inevitable if we fail on providing ourselves (and others) the space and freedom to be who we (they) need to be.

I also have a strong feeling that karmic debts and attachments can be potentially undone during this intense time if you wish to set intentions for that with Saturn/Pluto/South Node in Capricorn forming a trine to the Sun/Mercury in Taurus.

May we all have much needed balance in the midst of emotional release so we can channel these powerful energies in a positive and growth enhancing manner.

 

Saturnian growth pos Plutonic apocalypse…

Saturn is transiting around 14 degrees Capricorn and just about to form the first of 3 or 4 exact squares to my natal Moon in Libra. I can feel this transit reflecting couple of different processes within myself.

On one hand I felt the urge to communicate my need to cut down my hours at my current job as a chef so I can dedicate more of my time to what I believe is my call and vocation: astrology.  Saturn is currently transiting my second house so material issues and my values in general have been taken under consideration before I made this decision.

Interestingly, people have been in touch with me inquiring about my services, and when I was travelling in Brazil earlier this month, I had about 6 clients (plus 3 that I did not have time to see before coming back to the UK), which in a way is telling me to get back on track and follow my bliss!

(I also did a successful talk for the Psychedelic Society in Bristol at the end of November last year in which a scholar from Bristol University was present, and later on he contacted me saying how much he appreciated my talk and invited me to participate of one of his projects about paganism and well being!)

Last week I also started to go to the gym, for the first time in my life, and Im actually really enjoying it! I feel so good after exercising (I used to cycle regularly when I lived in London but not anymore since I’ve moved to the forest) that I don’t really need to eat all the sugar and comfort food that I needed in order to make me happier. It’s interesting that just the act of exercising more seems to naturally make you want to choose healthier foods. This is also a lunar theme, the daily routine and diet, which seems to be going under transformation at the moment.

Saturn in Capricorn reflects the gift of discipline and the potential to develop will power. Im doing my best to take this moment as an opportunity to strengthen and bring myself closer to the kind of life that I want to live rather than wait for people to change or opportunities to be given.

I believe this is a DIY time!

Another theme connected with the Moon in Libra is love relationships.

Me and my partner have been living together for a few months and Im realising more and more that this relationship isn’t fulfilling my needs (Moon again) and that I have been oblivious to this fact for quite some time. The feeling that I’ve been having lately is strongly motivating me to fill up the gaps myself and to move out eventually (when is the right time I suppose, I don’t really want to rush anything under a Saturn transit…).

I am not sure how this process is going to unfold, but Im feeling a strong urge not only to be self contained but also to be self motivated enough to create my own happiness instead of expecting someone else to change.

I feel like I have done my homework when Pluto was transiting my Moon and a lot of the challenges that came up were met head on. Many of my “libran” fears connected with relationships, including the fear of being alone (fear of doing things on my own, like travelling or moving houses, etc), was addressed in the last 5 or 6 years and I feel so much stronger now.

I feel that I can do anything by myself! Hah!

We shall see how things unfold, with new awareness and my commitment to the process of individuation and growth, and I hope that all of you out there are making the most of the energies available for your individuation and growth as well.