Mercurial Wanderings under Venus Retrograde…

Venus has turned retrograde with the last full moon in Gemini and has been hovering around Pluto for quite some time now and this post is a reflexive product of it somehow. As usual a mix of personal experience and food for thought which I hope you might find useful, or inspiring, or at least entertaining. 

Mercurial wanderings…

I sometimes find it amusing the way that our society works. Not that I am completely outside of it, of course not. But with the strong Aquarian, Uranian, 11th house and out of bounds emphasis in my natal chart, I confess that it feels like I am ‘out of bounds’ myself most of the time. I don’t think I always fully understand the logic behind some of our taken for granted agreements. 

I see a powerfully strong Capricorn theme when it comes to work ethics, productivity, goals, and visions of success. Ambition is very high rated, material gratification too. But I am also especially thinking about the idea of ‘professionalism’ here. 

When did we stop valuing humanness and buying into this concept that absolute detachment equals a more ‘professional’ and capable approach? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for ethics, in a deeper sense, I would say. But the coldness that usually accompanies the generally accepted ‘professionalism’ really hugs me, no, I mean bugs me. 

Another thing that comes to mind is how value is attributed to money and how much not having money has a detrimental effect on self-esteem. It is difficult to value yourself if not having enough money prevents you from having a voice, from making choices and being considered important by other members of society. 

As my secondary progressed ascendant slowly transitions from Sagittarius into Capricorn (it has already made the shift in Solar Arc direction last year), the more I see myself valuing professionalism and the material realm without losing sight of some of the questions stated above. I have most of the time considered myself a freedom loving and informal type of person – always hated the hypocrisy that sometimes being ‘professional’ makes you comply with.

But now I see myself getting increasingly tired of the hippish approach to life and really feeling the need to gather all my professional experience (which by now is kind of considerable as I’m no spring chick anymore…) and put it into one place. Have a brand – (did I really say that?!) – and make a proper income (whatever that means) solo from astrology work. Get myself deeply involved with the potential productivity, which is quite vast considering the possibilities that the internet and digital era offers us.   

You see, these words seem like a great example of what we could be doing during this cycle of retrogradation from Venus in Capricorn. Ask ourselves where we are going and if that place is truly aligned with our core values. I would also say, as I think about the shift that my progressed ascendant seems to be reflecting, this could be a great time for catching up with your shifting values too. What important and major themes in your life are slowly fading and losing their grip on you now? How aligned are you with your natural changes and the resulting new-born values within it? 

Recently, while I was trying to relax and enjoy the holiday season, I decided to reread my last journal – another great thing to do during one of the fast-moving planets’ cycles of retrogradation. It can be wonderfully insightful to be able to see your process and how (surprisingly) congruent it usually is with how you intuitively feel from moment to moment. 

This time I was surprised to see how much had been written about my search for a fulfilling relationship (another relevant topic for this Venus retrograde period) and how to get there by being clear about what I really want – my natal Venus/Neptune square has been transited by Pluto, whilst progressed Venus conjoined natal Saturn.

There is no healthy relationship without healthy boundaries. 

I can’t remember where I read this, or who mentioned it to me, but it is so true. 

In one entry from my journal, I wrote: 

‘Is this what self-worth looks like? Making difficult choices that puts your mental/emotional/physical wellbeing first? I guess so. His love life is a mess that I don’t want to be part of – There is no role for me there, at least, there isn’t a role that I am willing to play.’    

And later I wrote:

‘It is exciting to be able to be more myself and less of what people want me to be’, with the conclusion that more validation coming from within gives space for authenticity to be truly expressed out there. 

If you don’t feel comfortable being yourself around someone, or if that person does not support your authenticity and shows no appreciation for who you are, always making demeaning comments or trying to change you into what they want you to be, it is a sign that this might not be the right relationship for you. 

Remember, you are nobody else’s dream! (that used to be a little note to myself, natal Venus-Neptune’s things…) 

And these thoughts also remind me of psychotherapist Mark Vernon’s great article ‘What is Love?’ where, amongst other things, the author discuss the idea that love grows through conflict – and that in fact, the secret of a successful relationship many times is in our capacity to deal with disagreement and not necessarily in our capacity to love. In his words ‘an inability to handle conflict is a good predictor of divorce’.

According to Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ‘experience shows us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction’, and for that to happen, we have the obligation (with ourselves, more than anyone else) to know our values! To be (absolutely) aware of the importance and urgency of asking ourselves: what do I value the most in life, partnerships, career, daily choices, etc?! With Venus retrograde this is the perfect time for you to seriously (Capricorn) and deeply (conjoined Pluto) ask yourself these questions, get to the bottom-line of your core values and how much they might be changing. Cath up with them, ponder on them. Befriend them, for in a way, your values define who you are.

Another short praise to Saturn

As I prepare myself to go back to the UK I silently watch the build up of anxiety within.

These sure are strange times that we are currently witnessing.

One thing calls my attention as I watch the symbolism of my transits right now – I have transiting Saturn bang on my IC – and I think about the current situation in both my homes, Brazil and the UK. They were both two of the three countries where new variants of COVID were detected, and I can’t avoid but think about my Saturn-IC transit…

None have done really well in responding to the pandemic, with Brazil being obviously the worst amongst the two. I think that the UK is doing much better now and I see my friends sharing some pictures of the beautiful spring and their happiness anticipating the slow coming out of lockdown that they are about to go through. On another hand, I see Brazil getting worse not only with the rising numbers of people getting the virus but also politically.

Everything seems quite messy now and I don’t know if I can see myself truly settling down here ever.

However, I am not in a rush to make a decision about where will definitely be my home.

For now I have my flights booked (wish me luck!) and I will be heading back to England in less than a month if everything goes right.

Saturn transiting my IC is also square my natal Saturn, an important step in Saturn’s cycle – seven years after our Saturn return we are then called to take up the challenge (whichever challenge relates to when you had the return) a little further. For me it has definitely manifested as career decisions, it was around my Saturn return that I decided I wanted to become a professional astrologer and now, during the first square, it really seems like I am reaping some rewards from my hard work.

I not only feel much more confident about my work, but I am also beginning to slowly be recognised in the astrological community. And I haven’t even reached my progressed full moon yet! (this will happen in a few years time, I wonder what will be happening, but have the feeling that it might be corresponding with finishing my masters)

Anyway, the older I get, the more appreciative of Saturn’s symbolism and principle I am. (as we would expect)

The real solidity, the silent hard work, the true confidence (a different kind of confidence from Mars or the Sun I think, somewhat less cocky perhaps).

Gravitas!

I am finding older people much more appealing right now too, enjoying their silent presence, because the older we get (hopefully if we do the work) the less validation from outside is needed. I simply love that feeling!

So people, do not be afraid of Saturn. Instead, take responsibility for yourself, for your process of growth, and you will then see the magic happens…

Saturn and Inner Wisdom

Ok, so this writing just happened to me.

I was listening to music and having a cry when these words just started coming to me, so here they are.

But before that, just an astrological note. I see my Saturn in Scorpio being reflected in the text below, and when I recently found out (or maybe realised) that this planet sits exactly in the midpoint between my natal Venus square Neptune, I am convinced of its importance. Getting to know this Saturn and daring to integrate it a bit further seems to hold an important key for me and the potential success of my relationships. I think that the text below encapsulate a bit of it, a bit of my Saturn in Scorpio in the 12th at best.

Feeling things intensely isn’t the issue, the real issue is how we manage and work with the powerful energy that gets released/triggered with powerful emotions. Having someone that supports this process is of utter importance to me, for my growth and self-understanding. It is also paramount to not project and blame another for those feelings, either when they’re pleasant or unpleasant. Either way, we need taking a position of ownership rather than victimhood and to not act out onto another. 

The respect has to be mutual. 

It is clear to me that I cannot be with someone that cuts off emotions, or that find it all a bit too much. People that shy away from tears as if they’ve seen the antichrist disturbs me. Emotions are just that, something in motion, changeable. It is just a powerfully healing and transformative force. And I do not take the power of emotions for granted. This is why it is necessary to be like some sort of samurai, some kind of martial art master – to be brave enough to master your emotions. To ride them and see where the destination is, at least in that moment, for it changes from moment to moment. 

Bravery to be an observer of the change.

I see emotions like a powerful chariot, like the one in the Tarot, with a white and black horse pulling it around. Happy or sad, emotions drag us around, it pushes us to do things, to take chances, to cry in the bathroom when no one is looking. One thing is for sure, emotion is what heals, inflames, possess us at all times, so getting to know them, making them your acquaintance is, in my view, a positive way of relating with it. It is a powerfully transformative way of relating with your deepest and authentic self, of getting to know you…    

A little on midpoints

Astrology as a subject for research never ceases to amaze me.

I have currently been looking into midpoints a bit more and what a fascinating topic. My Moon in Libra, ultra sensitive towards symmetry and beauty, really seems to love the idea of a midpoint being a place where integration can happen.

For the ones reading this and thinking ‘what the hell are midpoints?’, it is a very simple concept, for instance every single point or planet in the horoscope, in relation to another, will have a half way – if mars in your chart is at 6 degrees Sag and your Venus is 26 Virgo the middle between the two is 1 Scorpio. Does that make sense? It is a simple mathematical calculation really. (there will be a further midpoint and a closer one, the closer is the most commonly used including to cast composite charts – another fascinating use of midpoints!)

In the astro.com website they say: ‘A midpoint marks the focal point at which the energies of two planets meet. If a third planet is conjunct this point it receives these energies and to a certain degree acts as a channel for them.’

Exactly!

It is very interesting, if you have a planet in the midpoint of two planets in an opposition (that would be a T square) or in between two planets forming a square, it could act not only as a ‘channel’ but also it could reflect a possible way out from the dichotomy and towards more inner integration.

I love how we can potentially discover new things as we continue our astrological learning journey, including discovering new placements and things about our own astrology chart that we did not notice before.

I have written about my currently progressed Venus forming a conjunction to natal Saturn and roughly how serious I have been feeling regarding love relationships and personal boundaries – well, as I researched the midpoints in my chart I realised that Saturn sits right in the midpoint of my natal square between Neptune and Venus!

How interesting! To me this placement is somehow quite hopeful. The more I work on my Saturn in order to integrate it further in my psyche, the more I can potentially become more solid and realistic in how I deal with others… I feel that my natal Saturn holds a potential key for practicing boundaries and realism when my Venus-Neptune combo gets too dreamy.

Has any of you found an important planet in between a natal square like this? Do you feel that that planet can help you out with the conundrum?

Reflections and realisations

The coming full moon eclipse on the 30th of November will be exact conjoined my natal Chiron in the 7th house. There are lots of different insights that I can have by observing the full moon’s chart in comparison to my own, but what strikes me is the reminder that most things astrological symbols reflect are rather process oriented than a ‘one off’ type of thing.

Another fellow astrologer wrote an interesting text regarding the coming full moon eclipse and linking it up to a lunation from May 2003, that’s when I was beginning my History degree in Sao Paulo. I can’t particularly remember anything else, nothing special in the relationship arena (which I would expect to see with a natal Chiron in Gemini in the 7th house). What about yourself, can you remember anything relevant that was going on for you in May 2003?

The Sagittarius-Gemini axis relate to information and education in general, how do you communicate your ideas and beliefs? How attached are you to them?

Since 2017 the big planets transiting Capricorn have been activating my natal 3rd house and a huge process of deepening and exploring ideas about astrology and how to communicate them has been taking place for me. Also, the Saturn-Jupiter conjunction will be happening there for me, in my 3rd house. It will be forming a trine to my North Node in Gemini in the 7th house as well as a square to my Pluto.

Ideas, communication, writing, reading, expressing myself, are some of the themes that have been under the spotlight for me recently, and it seems like it will be even more so in the years to come.

Regarding intense emotions and full moons and eclipses, I just realised how emotional I feel right now after having a melt down by myself for feeling really tired. I haven’t had a whole day off in ages, I can’t even remember when was the last one. I have always wanted to work on my career so badly in order to make sure that my job never feels like a ‘job’ in the boring/obligation kind of sense.

I have known that I can only dedicate myself to something meaningful and enjoyable for quite sometime.

But as I was crying and feeling the tension throughout my body today I suddenly realised that that too feels like ‘work’, like something serious and important, and that I need to find ways of relaxing and having lightness and fun in my life. At the moment I doubt my capacity for doing that, for enjoying myself without studying or working or being productive in some way. One of the only ways that I could do that was by having a romance and dating someone but the last thing I want to bring into my life now is frivolity, and dating seems very shallow to me at the moment (says the progressed Venus exact conjoined natal Saturn in the 12th).

I feel heavy. Hope you are feeling better out there.

Prognostication as New Lenses

One of the things that I find most interesting regarding prognostic techniques in astrology is to see them as an opportunity to experience your natal chart differently. To have a temporary experience of how different certain placements are from what you know (especially regarding progressions/solar arc directions).

For instance I have a tight natal square between Venus and Neptune (with Venus being the ruler of my 7th house) and this has been very obvious in my love life. All of the classic stuff that we usually link to that kind of aspect: evasion, confusion, being the saviour or saved by someone else… my sometimes (many times to be honest) lack of discrimination has consistently put me into trouble.

It is not a surprise then that having my progressed Venus exactly conjoined natal Saturn has somehow been feeling refreshing (a word that we hardly imagine paired up with Saturn’s symbolism). But that’s how it partly feels to me. Suddenly I am more sober, more serious and unwilling to delude myself.

I want to see who is truly in front of me rather than dream about it. As I get older I am increasingly tired of the Neptunian fog that comprised my love life and this progression seems to reflect that. This time is an opportunity to learn Saturn-Venus lessons (transiting Saturn is also trine my natal Venus!).

And I welcome that right now!

The other day I had a date with someone and it was brilliant not to do anything, it was great to just hold and give myself time to slowly meet someone else. I told him I want to be friends and make sure we do have anything before becoming physical. I’ve never really done that before. It was great!

Sure I do feel isolated and alone at times (all of the Saturn stuff), but it somehow feels good being able to be with myself. I don’t want any illusions anymore, I’d rather isolate myself instead and concentrate on important things, like my dissertation (which I just started the process) and my astrological practice.

So whenever you see something like that coming up (progressed Venus on your Saturn), this could be a great opportunity, an antidote to an old pattern represented by the natal astrological symbol, like my Venus-Neptune for example.

Another Venus-Neptune post

We are all living in a liminal space at the moment, perhaps for this whole year. Around me I see people struggling with different things, some having financial problems, others psychological struggles, but everyone seems to be feeling the difficulties of a very charged moment of change (collectively and individually).

As I work on my dissertation’s topic and delve deeper into concepts like ‘peak experiences’, ‘enchantment’, ‘ecofeminism’, I realise how disconnected from each other and everything else we are as a society. I feel that it is exactly in the ‘illusion of separation’ that lies our troubles. And how are we going to work on that?! Are we even going to?!

Sometimes (most of the time) I think that our survival as a species depends on that, on this spiritual shift and realisation that we are all interconnected. The deep understanding that if someone is suffering in the room I too suffer. The notion that if we continue to exploit and usurp from the environment there will be consequences, as above so below – as within so without. The way we treat the environment reflects how we treat ourselves and each other.

Transiting Venus, the ruler of yesterday’s new moon in Libra, is just about to oppose Neptune and I feel flooded by these feelings and I somehow resent being in this world at this moment. I resent having to witness all the ugliness around me, the lack of solidarity and kindness. I feel alone and sad right now, hoping that I can transform this energy into fuel for something else…

New Moon and Venusian things

Happy New Moon everyone!

This one is quite a powerful one personally as it activates my natal Venus (which happens to be in the midpoint of my Sun-Moon, and also square to Neptune-Jupiter).

I actually have been overly aware of everything Venusian, together with my already mentioned eagerness to have a home. In fact, they’re both connected as my natal Moon is ruled by Venus.

Dreaming about having a beautiful home (that’s a good phrase for the Venus-Neptune-Moon combo…) and I guess that it won’t be much longer until I move into my new flat. I am so excited about that, I could scream!

Perhaps this is the beginning of my midlife crisis, me wanting to settle down a bit more and being tired of travelling much. Or maybe that’s my progressed/solar arc ascendant moving to Capricorn. All I wanna do is to have my beautiful base and to work and study. At least for now, that’s how I feel.

Regarding the New Moon Venus stuff, with also lots of trines from the Capricorn transiting planets as well as progressed Venus conjoined my natal Saturn, I feel more pragmatic and rational when it comes to love. At least so it seems.

It’s like I have taken down my rose tinted glasses for a bit and it feels good. My new mantra is: from now on, they will have to EARN (I can hear Saturn here!) my respect, time and attention. No more freebies! No more projecting my worth; validation needs to come from within.

I guess that I will always be a Venus Square Neptune person, but throughout life I believe that we can fine tune our natal aspects into a more refined way of expression. I enjoy the potential for compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love that the Venus-Neptune combo can reflect; and I also love art and beauty.

I am planning to learn how to play the guitar when Neptune opposes my natal Venus in a couple of years; maybe that’s a good way of negotiating with the universe in order not to fall into a massive delusion again and again and again… ? Have you ever ‘negotiated’ challenging transits to difficult points in your natal chart before? How did that go?