Reflections on life’s changes…

by with 16 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

I am getting ready to move out from where I’ve been living for the past year and a half.

Writing down organisational lists, to do lists, to let go lists, getting very organised, after all, is Virgo season!

I don’t feel devastated or fearful.

Having a Pluto transit to the natal Moon works as a kind of painful initiation. The transit is still within orb for me, and I guess all this moving around in the last 4 years is a reflection of it.

This moving out is also marking the end of a relationship that began when Pluto was forming the 3rd exact square to my natal Moon.  I have learned a lot and there are not many regrets, I try to look forward to my next steps.

I actually catch myself feeling excited about these changes as I think that my life was somehow stuck in a rut. My job as a chef and volunteer’s coordinator in the community wasn’t doing anymore for a long time. Working full time in something that isn’t my true passion is very difficult for me. Well… I think that working full time is difficult for me in most circumstances, if we consider full time hours as 40 hours per week.

That is crazy!! I mean, what about time for yourself, for organising your life, or taking care of our basic needs for food and personal hygiene etc, plus our needs for novelty and creative endeavours, plus our need to stimulate our intellect… Jesus, working 40 hours a week makes quite impossible to do all of that in a well balanced manner.

I cannot do that.

I believe, selfishly or not, that the belief that we have to be constantly productive and working is a fallacy. I probably have written about this here many times in different ways, but I cannot stress this idea enough. We need time to wonder, to just be. That is not laziness, is rather a necessity for our mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Screw the full time hours system!

Thats the thing, I feel so excited and happy and relieved that I am free again to think about whatever I want to think about, that the sadness of leaving or breaking up isn’t making such a huge impact on me at the moment. I think I have grieved quite intensely during the new moon eclipse in July so I feel ready to move on again.

As tiresome, hard work and uncomfortable as moving out and changes in general can be, I love and need them rather often… or so it seems. Or is that the Pluto transit still in orb with my Moon?

The fact is, and here is a Uranus/Mars conjunct in Sag in the first house speaking, I thrive in change and it seems to me such a delusional idea that one day there will be a plateau of peace and contentment in life capable of leaving changes and disruptions at bay. And as human beings I think that we somehow gravitate towards this idea of placidity and total fulfillment in a somewhat unchangeable situation. No…

The only constant is change.

We are a process, a life process, constantly changing and expanding, and there is nothing we can do about that other than aligning ourselves as best as we can and dance to the music… life will throw different rhythms at different times, and astrologically we can associate that to planetary transits, and somehow there is less suffering in surrendering to these rhythms.

Cheers to life!

Saturn-Pluto nightmares…

by with No Comment Astrology and meInner life

Yesterday I had the pleasure to watch a webinar that astrologer Lynn Bell gave on the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn (already within orbit, will be perfecting in January 2020).

She made use of some powerful photographs made by artist Nicolas Bruno (who has a natal square between Pluto and Saturn) to illustrate the archetypal energies of Pluto and Saturn encountering each other.

I have experienced Saturn and Pluto’s powerful symbolism through family stuff, even though neither is placed in the 4th house in my chart.

Lately I have been feeling a little unsettled with the powerfully changing energies around, especially because of my father. He has Sun in Capricorn at the exact degree that the conjunction between Pluto and Saturn are going to happen in January next year. My mother has Sun in the last degree of Cancer, and my brother’s Sun is in the last degree of Capricorn with his Moon also in the final degrees of Cancer.

With all of my willingness to focus on spiritual growth and the powers of transformation and healing through crisis, I couldn’t ignore the fact that the Pluto-Saturn conjunction is activating every member of my nuclear family in a powerful and fundamental way!

The webinar was very helpful because it somehow helped me to keep a sense of the bigger picture, not to mention a deeper understanding of that planetary configuration. Interestingly, Lynn Bell shared that most of the pictures taken by the artist is inspired by his recurrent problems with sleep paralysis and nightmares, and she said that this transit is actually asking that we face those paralysing fears ourselves.

Something needs to die and we cannot hold it anymore.

Relationship Anarchy and the next Full Moon

by with No Comment Astrological InsightsProfessional Astrologer

Today’s first quarter of the Moon (in Gemini) got me curious about the coming full Moon on  21 of March at 0 degrees Libra.

If we consider the full Moon as the continuation and outcome of the New Moon, it will have something to do with the feelings of last week’s Pisces New Moon, conjunct Neptune, with Mercury retrograde in Pisces and Uranus movement into Taurus. Last week was quite emotionally challenging in the community I live. People seemed to be extra sensitive to each others jokes and presence in general, with conflict arising between them more openly.

My period, which has been aligned with the New Moon for a few years now, came couple of days after and my level of sensitivity was very heightened as well. Something touched me very profoundly, awakening a strong sense of empathy and compassion. This all sounds very piscean/neptunian indeed, but I can’t keep my mind off Uranus moving into Taurus permanently (that is, for the next 7 years). The contrast between the two symbols, Taurus standing for stability and endurance and Uranus representing sudden changes, radical changes.

I have the feeling that the emotional atmosphere here also had something to do with people intuiting the big changes that are bound to happen (there are many members of the community with Venus in Scorpio, Ascendant in Scorpio and important planets in Taurus).

The most positive imagery for Uranus in Taurus that I think of right now is that of awakening (Uranus) inner resources and self-reliance (Taurus). We must somehow find ways of expressing our individual selves in a more authentic way within our relationships. Whichever relationship that has its foundations on wobbly, insecure and codependent fashion will be challenged during this period, big time.

Back to the full Moon then…

It will be taking place at 0 degrees of the Libra/Aries axis, the axis of relationships. Once more I feel the theme of authenticity within relationships ringing strongly. The planet ruling the full Moon is Venus which will be at 23 degrees Aquarius forming an exact square to the planet ruling the Sun, Mars, at 23 degrees Taurus. Give and take will be a major theme and challenge during this Full Moon.

But I have also observed that, on the day of the Full Moon, Venus forms a sextile to Jupiter in Sagittarius, and Mars a trine to Pluto in Capricorn. I feel that this could be symbolising also the old conflict between freedom and commitment, an aquarian/sagittarian versus taurean/capricornian difference in style of relating.

Aquarius and Sagittarius are known as the most freedom loving signs of the zodiac, and the earth signs (Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo) are known for their need for stability and commitment in relationships.

So Im already giving the heads up here for the potential intense emotional release of the coming Full Moon on 21 of March. I feel that we better start being more conscious about the need for space, freedom and friendship within our committed relationships. We better be aware of our need for individual autonomy and commitment, and look for ways of negotiating and balancing them out.

Astrology, Symbolism and Fluidity

by with 3 Comments Astrology and meProfessional Astrologer

February has been an interesting month for me so far.

The latest journey (Im realising more and more that there is always a journey within a journey within a journey…), the one connected with this month’s unfoldment, has been very much related with astrological work and symbolism for me.

I’ve had around 12 clients this year and the more I work with astrology the more it mesmerises me as something that is totally alive and mysterious.

What is behind the astrological symbolism communicating with us? Who is IT, or even, is there a who? The universe? The cosmos? God? I have no answer. And yet every single time, I feel something grand happens when Im reading a horoscope, and the connections that I can make afterwards also.

In the book ‘Cosmic Loom’  Dennis Elwell says:

‘For the non-mathematician 196 and 2744 seem unconnected, since they have not a single digit in common, but the mathematician recognises them as the square and cube of the same number. So there is a language of mathematics whereby hidden relationships are revealed, and there is a language of astrology which connects things that might seem unconnected’ (pp. 10 – 11).

I really like that he uses mathematics as an example to explain the hidden language encoded in astrological symbolism as well.

Symbols are a wonderful and elusive thing at the same time.

It never ceases to surprise me and I’m inclined to give it space to communicate rather than rush into putting it inside interpretative boxes.

Out of these 12 clients that I’ve mentioned above, more than half are currently dealing with a Pluto transit/progression to natal Venus/Moon, and my Solar Arc Venus has just conjoined my natal Pluto a few months ago. There is something about this archetypal union between the feminine and Pluto, the God of the underworld, that has been trying to communicate with me. I feel honoured that with each one of my clients I had the opportunity to explore a different dimension of this combination, in a different context, with a different life story.

Im in awe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An Astrologer’s wishes for 2019

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

The heat in Brazil is so strong that for most of the day I cannot do much. Sometimes it feels like my brain is melting.

For the last five or six years I consciously went through a Pluto transit to my natal Moon and this is the first time that I came back since. Everything looks and feels strange and familiar at the same time.

That strange familiar feeling of not belonging strongly remains.

I miss my home in England.

I am enjoying some things here, but after couple of weeks its clear to me that many of the structures, customs, opinions, ideas, ideals, cultural identity… have all changed to me? Sao Paulo somehow feels largely small?

Since 2012 I went through multiple transits, I’ve had my first Saturn return and transits from all 3 outer planets to my personal planets. I’ve been dissolved, dismembered and initiated into adulthood. Much pain and suffering was met on the way, but looking at myself in the mirror I can see that it was worth it.

I believe that if we don’t adapt to the seasons we can’t make the most of it. The idea of intermittent happiness to be pursued in life is a fallacy. But being stuck in a loop of sadness for too long can also be damaging.

Nature and its cycles have much to teach us. Accepting and taking action that is aligned with our personal cycle is one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learnt in the last 5 years. (Not that it was easy or that I have ceased to struggle with it. But I feel incredibly aware of it now.) Even if the action is by not taking any action. (something that can also be very challenging in a society that emphasises doing and achievement so strongly!)

So in this New Year Eve, close to a New Moon in Capricorn, my wish is that we can all learn how to be deeply rooted in ourselves, how to feel, trust, and follow the natural wisdom of our cycles, and, in this way, develop more authenticity in a mature and solid manner.

Then, and only then (I feel), we are going to be able to, genuinely, have a positive impact in our society, planet, cosmos, universe… whatever needed.

Happy new year!

 

Transit after transit…

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner life

Mercury is retrograde at 13 degrees Sagittarius, very close to make a conjunction to my natal Uranus/Mars in the first house and a lot of the current theme for me has been connected with personal freedom and individuation.

I believe that Jupiter in the early degrees of Sagittarius is also echoing this message.

During this last period of Venus moving retrograde I have been questioning and feeling a strong urge to find more space within my relationship. (with the times when Venus opposed Uranus as a peak of realisation about this need)

Now what is strongly coming up to me is not only the need for personal freedom, but also lots of questions about our conditioning when it comes to relating with one another.

Last week we had a training course on life coaching and the group of people that came here for the training were amazing. I connected with many of them in such a beautiful way. The dynamic between the group reminded me of one of those conscious summer festivals that I used to go when Pluto was transiting my natal Moon.

It felt like home!

In the last night we did an angel walk together (basically walking in a corridor of people whispering beautiful messages into your ears) and had a very long group cuddle for at least an hour. My heart was so open and the love I felt was so strong that it felt like being high on drugs.

I was in such a powerful and beautiful state that even saying no and asserting myself became easy and loving as well. I felt empowered.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the general conditioning of being supposed to love only one person, or being protective and caring only towards family members, etc. Why is that? Why can we not allow love to flow and increase itself by giving it freely?

Why are we not allowing love to ebb and flow organically?

I have read once that love is the only thing that does not work mathematically in the way we know, the more you give the more you have to give. You never run out of it. (talking about unconditional love here)

Then I thought that if my personal experience of transiting Pluto to my Moon is connected with my role in the collective change that we are going through, my new sense of security within is what will enable me to love more and to help breaking old patterns that do not foster growth in positive ways.

I would really like to find new ways of relating, with more authenticity and the willingness to be vulnerable and communicate openly.

Obscure times…

by with 9 Comments Astrology and meInner life

I am sat at my table with everything ready to start writing my first essay for the university, but instead of doing that, Im catching myself trying to understand what is going on in the world.

I am wondering what is prompting us to give rise, and our votes, to the far right and what it seems like a speech, and ideology, against minority, diversity and the environment? Obviously not all of us are doing this, but it seems like the majority of us are, otherwise people like Donald Trump and Bolsonaro would not have been elected president in their respective countries.

I feel overwhelmed with the amount of arguments between people in the social media and with the bigger picture of what is happening.

Astrologically speaking, I am wondering what does the conjunction between Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn in couple of years time will be reflecting. Pluto/Saturn in Capricorn does feel like the consequences of the abuse of power, death and destruction, could become more clear. What will happen to the environment after years of exploitation? Are we heading towards our own destruction?

Saturnian sobriety.

by with 9 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeProfessional Astrologer

I am currently reading Liz Greene’s seminar entitled “The Astrologer, the Counsellor and the Priest” and, as Saturn stations to go direct in the early degrees of Capricorn, I feel very introspective and naturally reviewing my connection with astrology.

In this seminar, Liz Greene is presenting a few different archetypes and mythic themes that might be unconsciously played out by the astrologer (as well as the client), for example the solar deity Apollo and the idea of expanding consciousness and promoting individuality, or Chiron, the wounded healer, that needs to share his wounds with others so he doesn’t feel so alone.

I am simplifying things here for obvious reasons and I couldn’t recommend this book enough for the ones that consider themselves, or aspire to become, professional astrologers.

As much as I would like to support as many different views and ideas as possible, or at least respect every person’s ideas and views, I struggle a bit when it comes to astrology.

When I read the myriad of astrological updates online I usually get the impression that most people that write them down don’t seem to consider their own lens and how much it impacts the interpretation of the symbols. ( I tend to think that a lot of those are but a reflection of their inner life?)

I have a funny feeling when I read things like an astrological configuration of some kind has helped something to happen. Or that the moon moving into a new constellations should make you feel in a certain way. Or a planet moving forward again might cause specific symptoms in your life.

For some reason this kind of immediate interpretation unsettles me.

I somehow feel like I have left a phase of infatuation with astrology behind. I don’t necessarily want to talk about it all the time with just anyone like I used to in the beginning of my studies.

I am still an enthusiastic of the complex intricacies of what astrology reflects, but for some reason I now find tiring to preach about it to the general public.

Interestingly, this seems to be synchronistically reflected by Saturn moving forward again and harmoniously activating my Mercury.  I feel that my view of astrology is somehow becoming a bit more sober. I don’t think that astrology can change the world, and I don’t desperately ask people’s star signs or time of birth anymore. Neither I try defining Astrology as a science when a skeptical crosses my path.

I am somehow accepting the mysteries more willingly, and looking within before rushing into revealing the secrets of another’s soul in what perhaps could potentially be an unconscious attempt to validate myself and choice of interest.

Have you ever thought about what made you choose to pursue your career path? Have you also gone through a process of change in how you relate with the subject that you dedicate yourself to? Im sure the answer is yes.

Any astrologers out there that would like to share their perspective on it?

 

6 planets going retrograde! (+ Chiron)

by with 4 Comments Astrological InsightsAstrology and me

The last two weeks seemed to have been especially intense.

I haven’t particularly observed the effect of many planets travelling in retrograde motion together, but it is interesting to see that we have currently 6 planets plus Chiron moving backwards at the moment.

For the last 18 years (I only checked until the year 2000!) the outer planets (Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) have had a period of retrogradation together during the month of August, so this isn’t new right now.

During this month I’ve always felt a strong energy of rethinking and checking with myself what direction should I be taking in my life. But my birthday is also in August, so this is probably a major influence, I think.

{The solar return (what we call birthday) is an important time for reevaluating your sense of purpose and expressing/reconnecting with your core self more authentically. So I’ve never thought much of August’s outer planets retrogradation.}

But if we think about it though, there is an interesting energy in August. A quiet and yet transformative energy is in the air, when the seasons are once more drastically beginning to change (from summer to autumn, or winter to spring in the Southern Hemisphere). At least the building up for the change is starting to happen.

The outer planets astrologically reflect different forces of collective change. Collective longings and yearnings tend to be revisited in the month of August I suppose?

What seems to be new though (and most probably not entirely new), is Saturn, Mars and Mercury joining in this year’s period of revisiting and reconnecting with the collective/big changes.

I feel that we (specially westerners) tend to struggle with these periods of introspection and no action, reflected astrologically by the retrograde planets. We are socially conditioned to believe that being active and productive is the only way to guarantee a successful and meaningful life.

We prioritise doing rather than being.

My last two weeks have been difficult because taking time out is something that does not come easily. We have to work and socialise …  really, there is always so much to be done that feelings of guilt creeps in whenever we are doing nothing without being ill or having a good excuse for the lack of activity …

With 6 planets currently going on retrograde motion what we need most is silence. It is a break from the over stimulation that we expose ourselves to on a daily basis.

I feel that the cosmos is reflecting a moment in the cycle of life where contemplating is more urgent than going forward. This is the moment to stop and re-access where you’re at in your life, where you’re at in your process of growth.

It is a time to take time and reorganise yourself.

 

 

Saturn stabilising energy

by with 4 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeProfessional Astrologer

I have been meaning to come back here for quite a while but just didn’t manage.

In the last month I’ve developed a taste for the magazine “Womankind” (amazingly beautiful and ad free, full of really interesting articles and interviews), continued reading books and worked on developing my new routine in the community Im living and working since February this year.

Since Pluto has made the last square to my natal Moon things seem to have settled within and without.

My boyfriend also got a job as a cook and has moved here with me since around March. We’ve met in July 2016, when Pluto was making the third or forth square to my Moon, and we have been developing what for me is the most authentic, challenging and rewarding partnership that I’ve ever had.

Since Pluto moved from the 2nd to the 3rd house in my chart issues connected with money and self sufficiency are slowly fading. I feel secure and quite solid materially speaking, which is a very different place to be compared to the last 6 years of insecurity and little money to spend.

I can buy things now. I can also invest money in education or travels if I wish to do so. (Jupiter is placed in the second house in my horoscope, can you tell?)

It is very interesting to observe how feelings and themes are constantly shifting in a synchronous dance with the cosmos.

Going from these long lasting years of emotional breakdown and a tragic, and intense, feeling of insecurity and death to regained confidence and solidity.

From transiting Pluto square natal Moon to transiting Saturn trine natal Mercury and Sun (with Uranus heading towards a trine to those natal planets as well).

I feel strong and capable. I also see recognition being bestowed upon myself in the community and at work. Me and my boyfriend have been offered a little wonderful house in the grounds where we work. We are finally going to have the chance to live on our own within the community.

And the house is amazing, with beautiful big windows facing the forest.

We move in less than a month.

Life has a funny way of developing if we dare allowing it enough space to do so.

Now in the last few days I’ve been contemplating applying for a master in cultural astronomy and astrology. I somehow feel that this could be a wonderful way of expressing these supportive and earthy transits that I am going through.

At my job I also have the opportunity for writing projects for training courses and I feel that this master course will perhaps be giving me much needed food for thought and inspiration.

I had my eye on this master degree for a while but was put off by my lack of stability and material security. How can I concentrate and write essays when Im not sure if I can pay the rent in the end of the month?