In between worlds

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.

 

Never give up to feel your way…

Capricorn season is on and interestingly I’ve been seeing a few different posts on social media advising never to give up or stating that there is never the “right time”, it’s all about forcing your way through.

I understand that cultivating will power and determination can be empowering, especially for the strong Capricorn/Saturnian people out there.

But my intuition says that there is a fine line between the positive and the more shadowy manifestations of it.

I feel that many of the transformative lessons reflected by current Pluto transiting Capricorn is somehow connected with the other end of the axis, Cancer and self-care.

Cancer is the astrological sign that I mostly connected with the archetype of the great mother, it is ruled by the Moon which, in the sky, is our most obvious reflection of natural cycles and changes.

It’s no news that the 28 days cycle of the Moon resonates with the 28 days of the female cycle.

Every month it reminds us that we also wax and wane, and that expecting to be productive and strong willed every day is unrealistic and potentially damaging.

How many years, I, oblivious to my cyclic nature, have felt guilty and tried forcing activity when what I needed most was resting and paying attention to my inner visions.

Same about seasons.

How many fruits can you reap during winter time, when the trees are resting and concentrating energy in its roots under the ground?!

We are not machines, we also need our restful phases and I do believe that, like everything in the natural world, there is a right time to do things.

Reconnecting with our intuition, the feminine within, will provide us with guidance. But for that to happen, we need to learn how to shut our overly busy minds up and listen to our body.

 

Shadow work cast the light

I have presented a talk about the shadow in the horoscope on the 21 of December. The theme was chosen in relation to the season, it just made sense to talk about the shadow on the darkest day of the year.

When I was back at home I did my own private Yule ritual to honor and welcome the Sun’s rebirth.

And that’s when I fully realised that for the past month, whilst preparing my presentation (this time I had a projector available to use), I was doing intense shadow work myself.

{It is amazing to see how we naturally start resonating with whatever subject we decide to put our minds into.}

The last month has been one of the quietest, with no other occasional work to do, and I felt thrown back at myself.

A lot of anxious feelings and many of my insecurities came out to stare me in the face.

It was interesting to be going through yet another layer in this process, which, even though very challenging, seems to be strongly offering me an opportunity to grow and find my sense of self and solidity within rather than without.

(I truly feel that Pluto in Capricorn transiting my second house, and aspecting my Moon from there, symbolises my search for a different, perhaps more authentic, sense of security…)

With Saturn moving into Capricorn in the winter solstice as well, I also had the realisation that my ambitions were somehow being tested and needing reassessment.

My natal Sun is in the 10th house and vocation does seem to be the arena where my light shines the brightest, but it must come from the heart, not from an ego seeking validation!

My spiritual values and integrity have also been challenged throughout this shadow work period. The choices that I have been making so far, based in what I believe rather than “social ideas of success”, versus the incredibly intense insecurity and fear of being “wiped out” and not surviving in this world.

The whole thing got me thinking about community living once more and with a strong urge to move closer to nature again.

Liz Greene said in one of her Pluto webinars that when you are going through a Pluto transit, all of the profound changes that you experience individually are part of your role in the collective changes that Pluto’s cycles are actually reflecting.

Our personal drama gives us the guts and impulses that later on will compound the social transformation.

We are talking about survival here.

And with Pluto in Capricorn (and Saturn as well) I really feel that our survival depends on changing many of the basic values that our society is built upon, and that Donald Trump seems to be the personification of it, in a rather exaggerated form.

I am talking about patriarchy here.

The lack of connection and devaluation of the feminine (objectification of women, lack of connection and caring for the environment, profit coming before wellbeing, etc) and a distorted manifestation of masculinity, if not changed, will destroy us.

All of these rather important questions are the foundation of my need for reassessing ambitions.

How do I want to develop my astrology business in this world? What kind of contribution can I truly make without changing my life style?  How can I put my skills into service without feeding the patriarchal structures in our society?

Full Moon in Gemini and the heart of the mind..

I am in a cafe somewhere in Bristol now.

I had forgotten how much my house gets cold in the winter (I know is not even winter officially yet..).

No matter for how long we leave the heater on, as soon as we turn it off the whole house gets cold in a minute. Or so it seems..

I think I did not mind the cold so much last year because I remember being so thrilled by having a home again. It didn’t matter.

Anyways, enough of the moaning, I came to a cafe to see if I could be a little more productive outside my freezing house.

Tomorrow is the last Full Moon of 2017 which will take place at 11 degrees Gemini (and is a super moon, it will look bigger than usual!).

As I stare at the astrological chart for this Full Moon, I can’t help but think that issues of communication might come up in all forms and shapes..

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, which, conjunct to Saturn, will be turning retrograde on the same day of this Full Moon. The infamous Mercury retrograde is carrying some information on what the culmination of energy represented by the Full Moon is about..

Revisiting, rewriting, editing, reassessing.. (these are all words that connect with a more constructive side of Mercury’s cycles of retrogradation)

Not only that, planet Neptune at 11 degrees Pisces is forming an exact T square with the Sun and the Moon.

So we’ve got Saturn, Mercury retrograde and the Sun in Sagittarius, plus Neptune in Pisces holding important clues here and they are all ruled by Jupiter at 11 degrees Scorpio.

My take here is that instead of arguing about the truth or trying too hard to communicate our side of the story, is best to go back inwards and reconnect with our intuition.

Jupiter (ruling all those planets in Sag) is forming an exact trine to Neptune (the apex of the T square) and it seems like the realm of feelings, intuition and the imagination could have a particularly important role during this lunation.

I strongly see the transit of Jupiter through Scorpio as the reflection, and support at this time, of empowerment through healing our deep wounds. If we want to, we could somehow accomplish more on that department.

Jupiter in Scorpio at best speaks of expanding personal empowerment.

Empowering the Self (or your higher Self).

Use the strong energies of this beautiful Full Moon to connect more with your centre. Meditate, perform rituals, any spiritual practice could be of great aid in achieving clarity and understanding here.

I feel that this Full Moon is reflecting yet another stage on the collective (and individual!) process of healing the split between the rational mind and the heart.

 

Colourful Symbolism..

I have been really busy lately, a lot of inner changes taking place and a few short trips.

But I felt the urge to try coming back to writing again.

I have recently gone to a training course in theatre and the experience was quite powerful (I have a strong positive feeling about mixing astrology with theatre!).

Ate the end of the course we performed Macbeth, a play that strongly reflects transiting Pluto’s last almost exact square to my Moon, happening now.

The hero’s journey into the underworld.

A descent into the darkness.

I came back home feeling that there is much to integrate from the whole experience, and obviously, also much to be integrated from my personal descent into the underworld in the last few years. (whilst Pluto transited my Moon)

And yesterday while I was dancing in my room I had this vision about practicing astrology like I would paint a picture.

In my experience, when I tried painting a picture with too much rigidity I never felt quite happy about the result. It was only when I understood that the colours should blend with fluidity that I started to truly appreciate my art work. I started to feel freer to experiment and something quite unique would come out.

I feel that with astrology is a little bit like that, if you get too stuck with the cookbook type of interpretation you end up too rigid in your interpretation of a person’s natal chart or process of growth. There is no movement or texture. No different nuances.

I had this vision while I was reassessing what happened to me in the last year.

Pluto transiting my Moon has never left the background, but different transits have added different tones and stories to it. Around the time that Jupiter transited my Venus I entered a very Jupiterian relationship, with a very Jupiterian character. (from Venus, transiting Jupiter then moved towards making a conjunction to my Moon)

A lot of the themes in the relationship was very much about Jupiter, but, Plutonian themes were also a strong part of the whole thing.

I can almost see this on a canvas!

We can’t really separate one from the other with clear cut. Think about painting with watercolours, about how the colours blend and mix in a unique way..

Now try seeing astrology in this way.

 

Multifaceted transiting Pluto..

I just came back from visiting my boyfriend in Wales.

He is staying at an Ashram on the top of a hill in the countryside.

With Neptune activating a strong configuration in his natal chart, which includes his Moon, he has decided to go on a journey in search for home and his purpose in this world.

He is also a number five in numerology. And so am I.

My knowledge in numerology isn’t very vast, but I know a little about number 5 being strongly connected with freedom and travels (which in turn, in my astrological mind, resonates with the archetypal energy of Sagittarius).

This visit has given me some food for thought.

As Pluto slowly makes its way back in the sky (in our perspective), heading to form the last almost exact square to my natal Moon, I realise that the huge transformation (which includes my search for home) hasn’t finished with me yet.

The strong call I felt in the beginning of this transit, back in early 2015, to go and live in a community of like minded people came back to me rather strongly while I was in Wales.

Living in nature and gardening almost daily, chanting and practicing yoga together, sharing the space with people that are somehow in a similar wave length felt closer to home than being in the city.

Eating fresh food from plants that you can potentially form a relationship with, by caring daily and communicating with them, gets you in touch with your centre much more than going to supermarkets.

We really are what we eat!

I know that one of the manifestations of Pluto transiting my Moon in the last few years has been a big and gradually change in my diet and relationship with food. (This is my second month experimenting with/eating Vegan food and the awful period pain that I used to get every month has improved a lot.)

I now have the feeling that I will be going back to the road in a few months.

But it is interesting to see that the earlier feelings of destruction and despair inside me has given place to something else, a stronger “Me”, so this is a different phase in the process of searching for home.. and I somehow look forward to it..

A few words on the next Full Moon Eclipse..

Im back home in the UK now and can’t help but feel overwhelmed by I am not even sure what (?).

This is the second month that I can feel very strongly the energetic build up of the full Moon and I try just watching it without getting myself too involved in it.

As I take a look at the full Moon’s chart for Bristol (where I currently live) I can’t help but notice Pluto, placed very closely to the ascendant, still making the exact square to Jupiter while Venus in Cancer moves closer to forming a T square.

To me this feels like a big stretch up for transformation, the transformation (potential growth) of our relationships (Jupiter in Libra) linked up with a somewhat survival agenda (Pluto in Capricorn opposite Venus in Cancer), and/or perhaps questions like how much do we depend on our relationships in order to survive will be brought into light.

I see issues of boundaries, individuality and togetherness being triggered.

Jupiter is the apex of the forming T square and it also aspects both the Moon and the Sun, by respectively a trine and a sextile, seeming to hold the key to all of these conflicting and apparent opposing forces.

What is the feeling connected with Jupiter in Libra?! What can be the key possibly held by this symbolism?!

My take on it is: relationships that promote equality and growth!

With the building up of these energies we can potentially see codependency being strongly challenged.  (an issue not taken lightly by neither Aquarius or Leo who symbolises the axis connected with individuality and the specialness/uniqueness of each individual..)

Also this full Moon, happening at 15 degrees Aquarius (opposite the Sun at 15 degrees Leo), does make me think of issues connected with belonging and our sense of alienation being activated.

The Sabian symbol for 15 degrees Aquarius is ” Two lovebirds sitting on a fence and singing happily.”

This somehow resonates with what I have been feeling regarding this lunation and I can’t help but think that the two lovebirds are sitting on a fence not on a tree or something else, they are sitting on a fence which has division and separation at its core purpose I suppose..

This full Moon is also a lunar eclipse and I see eclipses strongly connected with turning points. It feels like a portal that once crossed there is no way back.. not that we would want to go back necessarily…

 

Travels again..

I have been traveling for quite a bit this month.

Even though all that I can think of and feel truly excited about is dedicating myself to my work and career, I couldn’t refuse the opportunity to go away for a little.

Im in Barcelona visiting my brother. (And managing to work from here.)

I had one client two days ago and today have another one for an astrology reading.

The feeling of freedom is incredible when you work for yourself!

I also feel that the time is ripe for me as I witness many different opportunities opening up.

Transiting Jupiter is making its last conjunction to my natal Moon and at the same time my progressed Moon in Capricorn is approaching a conjunction to my natal Jupiter.

A double whammy that propelled me to take the opportunity and travel.

Buddhafield was also incredible. Once more (like in the previous year) I had a very powerful experience of healing and profound exchanges with people. (I also managed to do some work there!)

Different than last year though, Pluto’s square to my natal Moon wasn’t exact anymore (the transit is beginning to move away now, even if slowly..) and I could feel the difference internally (also externally with all the changes that have occurred in my life).

More solidity and sturdiness, less destruction and feeling the void within.

The void has actually somehow become the gravity centre that allows me to be present..

Full Moon kissing Pluto

The building up for this full Moon is being very intense.

It amazes me to see how the changes that we go through reverberates in many stages, like cycles within cycles (in a spiral motion rather than just circles I think), and the beauty of it being reflected in the movement of the planets (“the wanderers”) in the sky.

This full Moon on 9th of July will be happening at 17 degrees Capricorn, making a pretty close conjunction to retrograde Pluto, and activating the long term transit to my Natal Moon at 15 degrees Libra.

I feel it already. A lot of emotional stuff coming up.

I do my best to watch them.

But in this process I am also observing the rhythms in the sky and its unique dance…

I am about to go to the same Buddhist festival I went last year when Pluto was making one of the exact squares to my Moon…feeling heavy though…

I hope you are all being mindful and keeping your centre during this intense lunation.

A sense of calling..

I just felt the need to come here and write for a bit.

Is already 12:31 AM and Im having trouble sleeping.

Im not sure exactly what is going on but I definitely feel charged with an extra amount of energy which I need dispelling..

Today was sort of a day off that I have given myself (even though I have worked a little on my blog) but now I am rolling in bed from one side to another having astrological ideas and mini insights.

I am currently reading James Hillman’s “The soul’s code – In search of character and calling” and can’t stop thinking about the idea of having a “daimon”. The author is basically defending the hypotheses that we are all born with an intrinsic call, a soul or spirit guidance, to become something.

He calls this “the acorn theory”, “which proposes that each life is formed by a particular image, an image that is the essence of that life and calls it to a destiny, just as the mighty oak’s destiny is written in the tiny acorn”.

I am thinking about that in relation to astrology, in one sense about how astrology can be helpful in finding the thread of our “destiny” (what we were born to be according to the archetypes in our charts), but also in the context of my life and my own calling.

Yesterday’s talk was truly refreshing and inspiring.

It felt like I belonged there in that place of sharing insight/knowledge/stories. It was like actualising something strong and deeper, something somehow bigger than just a desire to be a teacher.

Im not sure if I can convey in words that certainty, that feeling of somehow being back home and revelling in my element.

It felt great though.

Now, at this peculiar “insomnian” sleepless moment to me, I can’t help but have ideas for the next talk that I want to do….!