Musings on the IC, home and heart.

I received an invitation from the AFAN to give an astrology masterclass in February. I was thrilled to receive it, as even though this moment feels very ungrounded to me (I guess for the last 7 years?!), I am still progressing in my work. Astrology is definitely one of my passions in life.

As I wondered about a potential topic for discussion, I had to check in with myself and ponder on what themes are important to me at this point. (I can only research or talk about something that truly resonates with me in the moment)

Where did I get so far? The IC! I find the IC such an important point in the chart, the most hidden and private, but also where we connect with our soul. And with psychology being the study of the psyche, or the soul, I realised how much this topic really interests me.

My IC is in Aquarius, I have long noticed a strong resonance with the detachment and coolness of Aquarians as a sort of homecoming to me. Leave me alone and I feel at home with you…or sometimes sharing a sort of silent presence, togetherness and spaciousness combined. There is something about the cool friendliness of Aquarius and its quiet acceptance that I find most nurturing. The odd and weird is familiar and nourishing to me. Friends are family. (I guess this also resonates with my Moon in the 11th and in the Aquarian decan! Whatever is truly important, it will be repeated in the astrology chart over and over again).

But what about the IC? The place of soul making and rest, where we go back to recharge. The place also where we come from, where our roots are. The beginning and the end – like the ouroboros. The IC is where we eat our own tale as well, the promise of completion. Where we come from and where we are heading to at the same time.

Apparently, according to astrowiki, Hellenistic astrologers considered the IC ‘the home of the underworld’. This invokes such powerful imagery for me. Our ancestral line is below us in the IC, and at the same time, what sustains us is down there too.

Polly Wallace wrote that ‘The IC, the undersky, is reflected by invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment. The MC, the middle of the heavens, flourishes out into a visible canopy that reaches for the sky.’ I have natal Sun and Mercury in the 10th house, the house related to the MC, and I have been on a mission, for most of my life, to try and reach for the sky. It has been quite a recent realisation, as Saturn transits my IC (and my progressed moon also makes its way through the natal 4th house) that without having a solid foundation and connection with a sense of home in here (pointing at my chest) not much can come to fruition.

I then wonder about the phrase ‘home is where the heart is’ – I noticed myself coming across that so many times since Pluto transited my natal moon and I started my journey searching for home. Since I left my home in London back in 2015 I haven’t been able to truly settle anywhere for long enough. Anxious feelings always get the best of me and moving has become the rule…no bond can be developed long enough or a sense of belonging somewhere. Then I wonder, is home really where the heart is? Because I sure struggle to connect with ‘invisible roots that are vital for stability and nourishment’ in the constant disruptive pattern I find myself in.

Astrologer Dawn Bodrogi (if you haven’t checked her blog yet, is one of my favourites!) said: ‘the IC contains the consciousness roots of the psyche which must be mined by the MC in order for there to be a creative flow between ‘in here’ and ‘out there’. We can only create with the material within us, and the IC is representative of that material.’  So according to her, we do need to be in touch with our IC in order to have something to offer, in order to have a sense of collective role.

Another engaging, inspiring and profound account of the IC was written by astrologer Anne Whitaker, particularly on how having an outer planet transit to your IC might manifest as deep change within and without as well.

I have experienced Uranus transiting my IC in 1998-1999 and I remember that around that time my mother found a new boyfriend – her and my dad tried to stay together for many years in a very passionate but turbulent relationship full of betrayal and jealousy and feelings. That was a shift, and although she kept this new relationship a secret from my father, things were never the same again. (those years were also when she began to go out clubbing – I believe that was part of my mother’s midlife crisis).

After that, Neptune crossed my IC in 2003 when I was 18 years old. That was the year I entered university to study History, became a sort of adult (at least that was how I was feeling back then, little did I know!) But also, and specially, this is the year that my brother moved to London with his Austrian girlfriend at the time. A year earlier he had gone to Australia to learn English and, up to that point in 2003, I was still thinking that he would be back eventually and life would keep on as it always was. So that was definitely a huge change for me, suddenly I became a sort of ‘single child’ for the following five years, until I moved to London myself and joined my brother in the international life. Home was never the same after those two transits, that’s for sure.

But something else has been gained, and for me, being of such tender age when that happened, it was also about being initiated into adulthood somehow. Realising that things can change in profound and irreversible ways was part of my experience – home, which used to always seem so unchangeable and secure, was transformed for good as I grew in awareness. I was never going to be the same either.

Perhaps our sense of self is very much buried in the IC, intertwined with it. And if, astrologically, home is where the IC is, then the heart must be somewhere around there too…

New Moon and Venusian things

Happy New Moon everyone!

This one is quite a powerful one personally as it activates my natal Venus (which happens to be in the midpoint of my Sun-Moon, and also square to Neptune-Jupiter).

I actually have been overly aware of everything Venusian, together with my already mentioned eagerness to have a home. In fact, they’re both connected as my natal Moon is ruled by Venus.

Dreaming about having a beautiful home (that’s a good phrase for the Venus-Neptune-Moon combo…) and I guess that it won’t be much longer until I move into my new flat. I am so excited about that, I could scream!

Perhaps this is the beginning of my midlife crisis, me wanting to settle down a bit more and being tired of travelling much. Or maybe that’s my progressed/solar arc ascendant moving to Capricorn. All I wanna do is to have my beautiful base and to work and study. At least for now, that’s how I feel.

Regarding the New Moon Venus stuff, with also lots of trines from the Capricorn transiting planets as well as progressed Venus conjoined my natal Saturn, I feel more pragmatic and rational when it comes to love. At least so it seems.

It’s like I have taken down my rose tinted glasses for a bit and it feels good. My new mantra is: from now on, they will have to EARN (I can hear Saturn here!) my respect, time and attention. No more freebies! No more projecting my worth; validation needs to come from within.

I guess that I will always be a Venus Square Neptune person, but throughout life I believe that we can fine tune our natal aspects into a more refined way of expression. I enjoy the potential for compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love that the Venus-Neptune combo can reflect; and I also love art and beauty.

I am planning to learn how to play the guitar when Neptune opposes my natal Venus in a couple of years; maybe that’s a good way of negotiating with the universe in order not to fall into a massive delusion again and again and again… ? Have you ever ‘negotiated’ challenging transits to difficult points in your natal chart before? How did that go?

Catching Up

Here I go again, in two days I will be flying across the Atlantic once more. I feel like I have to give one step backwards in order to go forwards again; at least that’s how I perceive the current transits activating my MC-IC axis.

I need to have a solid home to work from.

Since I left Brighton almost a month ago I could barely focus and be productive. Feels weird not to be focusing on work after going through 2 months and a half of being busy like never before with my masters and astrological talks/teaching/consultations.

I also did not manage to send my books to my flat in São Paulo because of the COVID situation. Another pandemic postponing of plans… It seems like I will have a solid base, with my belongings in it, only when Saturn will be transiting my IC by conjunction later next year. That’s ok, I have to learn how to be patient. Another Saturn lesson to my Mars-Uranus…

When I bought my tickets to go back to Brazil I thought that Mars retrograde could be a good significator of me going back and redoing what I started when I left, my new base. I am looking forward to start decorating my flat and to have the feeling, for the first time, of finally having a home. Let’s see what happens.

I also currently have transits from Pluto/Saturn/Jupiter to my natal Venus, with progressed Venus almost conjoined natal Saturn, and my values seem to be becoming more visible to me. The coming new Moon is on my natal Venus as well and I plan to make a little ritual to consolidate this process of self possession that I seem to be going through right now.

I think that’s it for now. I hope you are all doing well out there.

Progressions 3rd round

Here I am preparing a talk I will be giving tomorrow for an astrology group about astrological interpretation and still pretty impressed by the uncanny accuracy of Secondary Progressions.

Today I was taking a closer look to sign ingresses and etc in past progressions and how fascinating that was! When my Sun progressed to Libra I moved countries, and mind you  I have natal Moon in Libra ruling the 9th house of long journeys abroad… and just like this one there were many other examples…

Progressed Moon just about to move into the 3rd house when I applied to my masters…hitchhiking for 3 months when Progressed Moon was in Sag conjoined my natal Mars-Uranus in Sag… wow man… so many other examples.

I don’t know why it has taken me so long to give the attention that I feel Secondary Progression deserves as a technique!

Not to mention the big questions that are naturally brought up by this symbolic and most impressive astrological practice; what is behind everything? How come we live in a compressed format everything that we will live during our lifetime (the so called ‘one day-per year’ of life formula)? Why these patterns seem to repeat themselves in different vibrations and contexts? What about the invisible thread connecting it all? Is there such a thing? …

Astrology and Seasons!

Omnia tempus habent… (All things have their season) – Ecclesiastes 

As I finish preparing my powerpoint presentation for my webinar tonight on secondary progressions here I am again, feeling baffled with the accuracy of astrological symbolism.

All things have their season, and prognostication is about that. It isn’t (not for me anyway) about predicting what the future holds or what is going to happen exactly, it is about realising your inner (and outer) season. Work with nature rather than against it, you wouldn’t try to harvest things during winter, etc.

There is the right time for everything. And astrological symbolism can help you not only to understand that, but also to align yourself with it. What a wonderful tool, albeit often misunderstood, astrology is.

As my progressed Moon makes its way towards my natal IC, boxes, removals, decorating and furniture permeates many of my conversations as well as my mind. I want to create a proper ‘nest’, a strong base where I can get in touch with my creativity (which will probably be happening once my progressed Moon moves into my 5th house I guesss…) and do more of the work that I love doing. Free myself up from some of the mundane preoccupation and fully dedicate myself to my master’s dissertation and my astrology practice.

Live a life that’s more aligned with what I want to do daily, focus my energy. (I guess I can also hear my progressed ascendant moving to Capricorn here!) I really look forward to being able to focus more and travel less (a little less anyway…).

Are you aware of your secondary progressions right now?!

A note on progressions

Have you experimented with secondary progressions much?

I have been observing it for a few years now, a few times that my progressed moon has shifted signs for example, and watched how that manifested in my life. But it was only today, whilst preparing one of my webinars on prognostication, that it actually clearly dawned on me how much progressions relates to internal transitions and our inner reality.

Currently my progressed Moon is just about to conjoin my natal IC, which in a few months will then be transited by Jupiter and Saturn; followed by Pluto a few years down the line. Whatever is brewing within myself regarding belonging, home, family, and a reconnection with my roots will have a long lasting effect, it seems.

For the last 12 years I have been living in the UK and travelling around, I have been living a very nomad life style, always on the go without allowing any roots to become too strong and prevent me from experiencing what it seemed like ‘freedom’. My relocated chart in England has Sagittarius rising, with my Mars-Uranus quite close to it, and exactly conjoined my South Node in Sag. I feel free around here…

But it turns out that I am not sure this is what I want anymore, and when I check my progressed chart I see my p. ASC just about to move from Sagittarius to Capricorn, there is a huge shift happening within myself. It is really baffling to be able to see them so clearly reflected on my progressed chart!

Since my Moon progressed to Aquarius I have been thinking about home a lot, about Brazil, about my cultural heritage. I’ve been missing to speak my language and the small silent understanding that talking with someone from where you come from brings you.

I never thought this would happen! But as my progressed Moon moves closer and closer to my natal IC, these issues are becoming greater and greater. And I wonder what is the point on keeping the so called ‘freedom’ in detriment to human connection? As humans, do we all need to have and develop a sense of belonging and being accepted?

I also think about the easiness, the recognition, the familiarity which is calling me louder and louder from within. This is the progressed chart manifesting in a very obvious way in my life…

Pluto-Moon transit update and roots

In less than a month I will be heading back to the UK after almost 6 months living in Brazil. I have mixed feelings and think about how much the decision of living outside your home country changes things for good.

Where then is home?

For many years I rejected Brazil as my place of origin and adopted the foreigner identity, but now this seems to be changing again. I don’t feel completely Brazilian in a cliche sort of way, but I also don’t feel ‘not Brazilian’ anymore either.

These feelings made me think about writing a sort of update on my long lasting/ongoing Pluto-Moon transit.

For the last 5 years much has happened in connection to transiting Pluto forming a square to my natal Moon.

(if you’re curious about this whole process just click on the tag ‘Pluto Square Moon’)

I now find myself a lot more balanced and emotionally honest, giving more space for healthier emotional bonds in my life, and the list really goes on. Feeling more secure within myself, more solid, living what seems to be a more authentic life, more courageous in lots of different levels, with a transformed relationship with my mother but also the inner mother has changed a lot… (the list really goes on…) but…

I still find myself without a home.

Since I moved out from London in early 2015 I’ve travelled a lot and experimented a lot. I’ve developed myself through moving around, also through gathering the courage and guts to move on my own. I lived in Bristol, in Thailand for 3 months, I hitchhiked for 3 months, I’ve worked on summer festivals by myself, I moved to a community in the Forest of Dean for a year and a half, I came back to sense myself in Brazil for 6 months… I’ve put down roots just to shortly pull them up again.

I think I did a lot. (A lot of moving around, definitely)

Now, as I stare into my temporary keyring which is once more with multiple sets of keys (one for my mom’s, one for my friend’s where I currently live, and one from the guy I’ve been dating)  I wonder how long it will take until I’m able to have a home that’s not so much temporary…

How long until I can put down roots which will grow a little further than usual?

I am looking into buying a flat in Sao Paulo with my father and my intuition says that perhaps my 12 year chapter in England is coming to an end…

At the moment transiting Pluto is forming a trine/sextile to my ASC-DSC axis and trine to my natal Venus, but it will eventually conjunct my IC in Aquarius. And I wonder what will be the condition of my roots by then…

I also find interesting the fact that my Progressed Moon is in Aquarius, the sign of my IC, and in 6 months it will be crossing over it and into my 4th house, exactly when Im thinking about coming back to Brazil to spend another 6 months, but by then, possibly with a flat of my own.

Housing crisis

I have a few minutes for catching up with processes that are happening here.

Some posts back I talked about my progressed moon moving to Aquarius, the same sign on my IC, and the continuation of my journey in search for home, but this time,  reconnecting with my Brazilian roots.

During the New Moon in Sagittarius I moved to a friend’s house here in Sao Paulo so now Im living most of the week with her and couple of days with my parents. I was just packing some of my stuff to go back from her place to my mother’s where I will see a client later today for an astrology session.

As I was packing my things I thought about the amount of traveling and moving around that I have been doing since 2015 when Pluto did the first exact square to my natal Moon. At that time things were so emotionally intense that travelling from place to place gave me some sort of solace from all the intensity that was coming up to me.

This time is different, I am more balanced and less haunted by the emotional detox reflected by the Pluto Moon stuff, but I do notice myself feeling a little tired of all of the moving around (at least today?).

Yesterday night I was asking myself where is home?  I get bored indeed and have been consistently moving houses, jobs, cities, etc, but I wonder, is there a time when I am going to be able to settle down a bit more? Will I ever have a home of my own?

I am used to temporary situations, I am used to being quite mutable and taking one day at the time and building a momentary home with whatever I have available, but I am wondering more and more (perhaps the progressed Moon/IC thing) when is this going to end… if ever? Will I have a bit more stability regarding housing?

I have no answer to these questions yet, but it was a great relief to move out from my parents (again) and spend a few solid days on my own. As we grow older it becomes clearer how much space we need for ourselves, to do our own cooking, to decide how to get on with our day without being judged…

These last few days reflected how important for me is to be regularly alone, how necessary is to withdraw from activities and outside stimuli so I can process my feelings and understand what is going on with me. It has been 2 months since I arrived in Brazil and I did not have quality time on my own to feel my feelings, to catch up with myself properly.

I say no to this world populated by extroverted people constantly achieving and doing things out there. I want to achieve and do things in here. Inside me.