Posts in category: Trip

I’m back to London from the festival in Kent.

It was truly amazing and inspiring to be out there in the field for a few days and I’ve met some real nice and interesting people.

I can see myself becoming more comfortable in my own skin, reveling in my independent and self sufficient nature.

I can see the big difference from last year’s hustle when I left my life in London feeling lost and shattered (when Pluto was making the first exact square to my natal Moon) to how I am feeling now. I am definitely stronger, a lot more confident and capable of doing the things I admired in my ex lover myself.

Anyways, while living in this temporary nomadic community (that’s someone else’s accurate definition of these off grid little festivals) I was bursting with insights to write about.

One of them is about having natal Sun and Mars at odds with each other.

It’s funny, somehow I already had thought clearly about how a guy having Moon and Venus at odds would suggest a certain conflict between the kind of woman he finds attractive versus the one that is nurturing and emotionally appealing. But for some reason I didn’t connect the same principle to a woman’s chart when the Sun and Mars are involved in a more dynamic configuration.

My Sun in Virgo makes a super tight applying square to Mars in Sagittarius and I would always think about the other general characteristics connected with this symbolism. Fighting yourself, bursts of anger, a daredevil disposition, impatience, courage, etc. But I did not give enough thought on how this also applies to relationships.

I’m going through a massive transformation on how I build relationships and discovering the true motivations behind it. And by being on my own I’m having more space to observe myself in social situations.

What is it that I’m looking for? What are my true values when it comes to relating?

I used to be really moved by looks and at the festival I was observing how this tendency usually leads me to someone that I have no intellectual or energetic compatibility whatsoever. But then, on another hand, the ones I felt totally at home with and had interesting conversations, for some reason, were not appealing to me.

That made me realise that perhaps this can also be one way of expressing a Mars and Sun that fight each other in an astrological chart. It’s a basic disagreement between the two masculine archetypes in a girls chart in a similar way that is between the Moon and Venus for a guy.

How can we bring them together?

I’m not sure, but I guess that by becoming aware of the conflict we can avoid swinging from one extreme to another. One relationship that fulfills the Martian desire followed by another one that only speaks to the Sun and we are trapped in polarising without forming satisfying connections.

Also the more we take charge of our potential energies the less likely to search for someone to carry it for us.

The other is free to be himself.

I’ve been out in the English countryside for about a week now.

I’m back to Cirencester, the same place where I did wwoofing last year in the midst of the begining of my plutonian crisis and homelessness. The lady lives in a quite alternative set in a field and has a garden of healing herbs. She knows a lot about it and I enjoy spending time with her very much.

We have many strong interaspects between our charts and I notice a great deal of positive projection in our interaction. Her sun is conjunct my MC,  her Saturn and Venus conjunct my Sun, her moon conjunct my Ascendant.

Anyways, these days she asked me for a reading and also suggested I gave a reading to one of her daughters.

They are both very plutonic women and that got me thinking about how reality powerfully reflect our transits.

I am going through a Pluto transit to my natal Moon and I can’t help but bump into very plutonic women or Moon-Pluto kinds of situations. Like last year when I went back to London from wwoofing and ended up staying at a friend’s that had one of the siblings commited suicide. I woke up in the early morning and spent hours chatting with his grieving mother.

It amazes me how many layers of meaning and possibilities for astrology to be manifested.

I mean, astrology, in my view, is actually just a language that enable us to interpret and increase our understanding of reality. But what a gift!

The lady’s  daughter turned out not only to be a very plutonic woman but also to be going through a powerful plutonic time right now and without knowing. It was such a honor to give her a reading. Such a a gift for me to remind myself about my process, but also and mainly, such a honor to see the light in her eyes change. To see her face brighten up with relief when she said to me “so I’m not going crazy”.

That’s what gives me the confirmation of my choices and makes all the effort I’ve put into learning worth. I know that it would be so much harder to go through this Pluto transit to my Moon without knowing anything about it. So it really pleases me to be of service to people.

To help people understanding more about themselves.

I’m smiling as I write this post and feel the warmth in my heart.

Gratitude.

I’m in Bristol now.

I arrived here yesterday to meet a potential house mate. The add seemed lovely, an older woman who is an energy worker as well as an astrologer looking for 2 more people to share a farm house. Big garden to grow vegetables and pretty spacious house.

One big let down though, too far away and difficult to get to Bristol City centre without a car. I didn’t even go to meet her once I realised the massive pain to get there by public transport.

It didn’t work out but I’m okay with that. It’s good to be here and allow myself time to feel the city, or perhaps to rather give me time to allow feeling myself in this city.

I’ve been officially homeless for a year now.

Exactly one year ago the last Uranus-Pluto square that was perfected in the sky happened at 15 degrees, same degree as my natal Moon. On 12th of March 2015, when Mars was also conjoining Uranus in the sky, I was packing up and selecting the stuff that potentially could still be part of my new life.

I was terrified and shattered at the same time. The intensity of emotions that I felt during that time was truly overwhelming. It sounds contradictory, but I remember to be feeling blind and numb by the powerful intensity.

I also remember the first few steps that I took once I left the house with my backpack. A brief moment of clarity, freedom and certainty. Yes, I was shortly thrown back into the darker feelings aroused by such changes in life. But those few minutes were somehow crucial to keep me on track. To help me build the courage needed in order to leave stagnant comfort zones behind.

One year has gone by and my sense of Self has increased tremendously. I’ve always knew that projecting my identity and safety into outer things, like relationships or material stuff, wouldn’t work for me. Consolidating your sense of security into yourself feels right and I’m already experiencing moments of solid balance as a reward.

(I’ve had more to write in this post but got interrupted by my friend and somehow feels like a pretense to continue without the feelings of that moment..)