In between worlds

by with 7 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

Im on a haze.

It has been challenging to concentrate in the last couple of months and again I find myself struggling to keep up with my writing.

The full super blue blood moon eclipse on the 31 of January at 11 degrees Leo/Aquarius (bang on my MC/IC) has been truly intense.

It culminated with me finding out that I got the job at the Forest of Dean and everything in my life (regarding home and belonging) changes once more.

I am happy… and although surprisingly busy with astrology work, I just can’t seem to be able to focus a hundred per cent in my career at this moment.

Readings and lectures are going quite well but my process of change and becoming is taking over for now. The whole Pluto-Moon stuff that has been happening within me still going strong.

I would love to be doing and writing more, but there doesn’t seem to be much separation between my process of growth and the services that I can offer people. And at the moment, growth and change takes me over.

I have been reading a lot about greek mythology and psychology though, and have a strong feeling regarding a master course on the subject.

We will see.

For now, Im in between worlds. And that’s that.

Acceptance.

 

Full Moon highlights

by with No Comment Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

We just had a full moon in Cancer on the 1 of January and will be having another one on the 31.

The first one was mildly intense for me. I had my brother and 2 other old friends from school staying over at my place for a few days. It was really nice to have them around and we did have fun.

But I also caught myself worrying about everyone else’s wellbeing and feeling stressed out most of the time.

It is interesting to see how during a full moon things get really heightened depending on what gets activated in your natal chart. Whatever issue is being transformed in a longer process (reflected by a long term transit) gets very much under the spotlight in some kind of exaggerated form if activated by the full moon.

During the last few days I could really see the people pleaser in me (reflected by my moon in Libra) and how difficult it was to assert myself and my needs.

They went back to London couple of days ago and Im still recovering and indulging myself in my own company, aware that on the 31 of January there will be a full moon eclipse exactly conjunct my MC/IC axis.

Financial struggles and perhaps some inflexibility on my part seem to be pushing me to move again.

(Its funny to see that even though I have lots of mutability in my chart and a natural willingness to adapt, having the ruler of the 6th house conjunct Uranus in the first house reflects a side of myself that is very stubborn and peculiar when it comes to daily job and routine…)

I might be getting a job at a community in the Forest of Dean, still waiting to hear from them.

And here we perhaps come full circle.

With the starting point reflected by Pluto transiting my Moon in early 2015 and me leaving my London life behind in search for a more meaningful way to live.

That does not mean that I won’t be working on my astrological practice anymore.

But I can see big changes heading my way, highlighted by the coming full moon eclipse.

Shadow work cast the light

by with No Comment Astrological InsightsAstrology and meInner lifeProfessional Astrologer

I have presented a talk about the shadow in the horoscope on the 21 of December. The theme was chosen in relation to the season, it just made sense to talk about the shadow on the darkest day of the year.

When I was back at home I did my own private Yule ritual to honor and welcome the Sun’s rebirth.

And that’s when I fully realised that for the past month, whilst preparing my presentation (this time I had a projector available to use), I was doing intense shadow work myself.

{It is amazing to see how we naturally start resonating with whatever subject we decide to put our minds into.}

The last month has been one of the quietest, with no other occasional work to do, and I felt thrown back at myself.

A lot of anxious feelings and many of my insecurities came out to stare me in the face.

It was interesting to be going through yet another layer in this process, which, even though very challenging, seems to be strongly offering me an opportunity to grow and find my sense of self and solidity within rather than without.

(I truly feel that Pluto in Capricorn transiting my second house, and aspecting my Moon from there, symbolises my search for a different, perhaps more authentic, sense of security…)

With Saturn moving into Capricorn in the winter solstice as well, I also had the realisation that my ambitions were somehow being tested and needing reassessment.

My natal Sun is in the 10th house and vocation does seem to be the arena where my light shines the brightest, but it must come from the heart, not from an ego seeking validation!

My spiritual values and integrity have also been challenged throughout this shadow work period. The choices that I have been making so far, based in what I believe rather than “social ideas of success”, versus the incredibly intense insecurity and fear of being “wiped out” and not surviving in this world.

The whole thing got me thinking about community living once more and with a strong urge to move closer to nature again.

Liz Greene said in one of her Pluto webinars that when you are going through a Pluto transit, all of the profound changes that you experience individually are part of your role in the collective changes that Pluto’s cycles are actually reflecting.

Our personal drama gives us the guts and impulses that later on will compound the social transformation.

We are talking about survival here.

And with Pluto in Capricorn (and Saturn as well) I really feel that our survival depends on changing many of the basic values that our society is built upon, and that Donald Trump seems to be the personification of it, in a rather exaggerated form.

I am talking about patriarchy here.

The lack of connection and devaluation of the feminine (objectification of women, lack of connection and caring for the environment, profit coming before wellbeing, etc) and a distorted manifestation of masculinity, if not changed, will destroy us.

All of these rather important questions are the foundation of my need for reassessing ambitions.

How do I want to develop my astrology business in this world? What kind of contribution can I truly make without changing my life style?  How can I put my skills into service without feeding the patriarchal structures in our society?

A little note on doing rather than being..

by with One Comment Inner lifeProfessional Astrologer

Again its been ages since I wrote something..

Winter is coming here in England and I feel the darkness more and more.

The urgency reflected by transiting Pluto square to my natal Moon seems to be slowly fading away and I am still trying to see clearly what is left within myself.

Perhaps the seasonal darkness can help me making sense of who I am now; but lately I have had people coming to visit and stay with me and its been difficult to spend quality time on my own.

My brother came to visit this weekend. He is gone now and I am feeling a little nostalgic and somewhat sad.

5 years without going back to Brasil or seeing my parents starts to weigh on me I think..

I have a few ideas for new talks and a short course on astrology that I want to put together for early next year, but the darkness and emotional digestive process that I am going through now seem to be holding me back a little.

Is funny how much we seem to have lost touch with the natural processes of gestation and death, with the natural cycles of life.. with the seasons..

Our conditionings, that are supported by technological discoveries (electricity for instance), tells us repeatedly that we should be productive at all times. It tells us that only summer is great, with its long days full of laughter and social times.

It tells us that only the fruit is great, and that we should be ripping them constantly. But what about the seeding? Or taking care of the soil? Those activities are not as glamorous in our society..

I am writing this post in an attempt to dialogue with the voice in my own head that keeps nagging me for not being productive enough.

The darkest time of the year is supposed to be the time to go inwards isn’t?! A time for recoiling and pondering everything that has happened so far and identifying where you’re at in the process of becoming..

This is the time for reassessment and hopefully deeper understanding… why so much pressure to be doing things all the time?!

 

A few words on Jupiter in Scorpio

by with 6 Comments Astrology and meInner life

So much has happened since the last time I posted something here.

I am trying to keep the discipline and write more, but somehow it isn’t working. I feel like I have gone to an extreme of disciplining my daily routine and now Im going a bit to the other end of wanting to be free and not restrict myself so much.

Since Jupiter has moved into Scorpio I feel like a shift has happened and it looks like I am taking the study of the Occult a bit more serious.

It was interesting to see Liz Greene (Gosh, I still need to write at least one blog post about her workshop that I went to!) speaking about the split that Carl Jung had between the scientist and the mystic in his psyche.

Well, I feel that I too have a similar split. On one hand the academic historian that wants to be respected and do some serious intellectual work, and on another hand, the thirst to explore the mysteries of the occult and develop the imagination.

But now with Jupiter recently entering Scorpio I do feel a stronger impulse to explore those hidden areas, perhaps even to develop my magical powers?!

I am note sure, but I am enjoying this energy at the moment, and I am looking forward to explore and see what this transit will be reflecting.. and I feel that another few steps towards empowerment could be one of the best potentials here..

I do enjoy the Scorpio season.

 

Multifaceted transiting Pluto..

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

I just came back from visiting my boyfriend in Wales.

He is staying at an Ashram on the top of a hill in the countryside.

With Neptune activating a strong configuration in his natal chart, which includes his Moon, he has decided to go on a journey in search for home and his purpose in this world.

He is also a number five in numerology. And so am I.

My knowledge in numerology isn’t very vast, but I know a little about number 5 being strongly connected with freedom and travels (which in turn, in my astrological mind, resonates with the archetypal energy of Sagittarius).

This visit has given me some food for thought.

As Pluto slowly makes its way back in the sky (in our perspective), heading to form the last almost exact square to my natal Moon, I realise that the huge transformation (which includes my search for home) hasn’t finished with me yet.

The strong call I felt in the beginning of this transit, back in early 2015, to go and live in a community of like minded people came back to me rather strongly while I was in Wales.

Living in nature and gardening almost daily, chanting and practicing yoga together, sharing the space with people that are somehow in a similar wave length felt closer to home than being in the city.

Eating fresh food from plants that you can potentially form a relationship with, by caring daily and communicating with them, gets you in touch with your centre much more than going to supermarkets.

We really are what we eat!

I know that one of the manifestations of Pluto transiting my Moon in the last few years has been a big and gradually change in my diet and relationship with food. (This is my second month experimenting with/eating Vegan food and the awful period pain that I used to get every month has improved a lot.)

I now have the feeling that I will be going back to the road in a few months.

But it is interesting to see that the earlier feelings of destruction and despair inside me has given place to something else, a stronger “Me”, so this is a different phase in the process of searching for home.. and I somehow look forward to it..

Travels again..

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeProfessional AstrologerTrip

I have been traveling for quite a bit this month.

Even though all that I can think of and feel truly excited about is dedicating myself to my work and career, I couldn’t refuse the opportunity to go away for a little.

Im in Barcelona visiting my brother. (And managing to work from here.)

I had one client two days ago and today have another one for an astrology reading.

The feeling of freedom is incredible when you work for yourself!

I also feel that the time is ripe for me as I witness many different opportunities opening up.

Transiting Jupiter is making its last conjunction to my natal Moon and at the same time my progressed Moon in Capricorn is approaching a conjunction to my natal Jupiter.

A double whammy that propelled me to take the opportunity and travel.

Buddhafield was also incredible. Once more (like in the previous year) I had a very powerful experience of healing and profound exchanges with people. (I also managed to do some work there!)

Different than last year though, Pluto’s square to my natal Moon wasn’t exact anymore (the transit is beginning to move away now, even if slowly..) and I could feel the difference internally (also externally with all the changes that have occurred in my life).

More solidity and sturdiness, less destruction and feeling the void within.

The void has actually somehow become the gravity centre that allows me to be present..

Full Moon kissing Pluto

by with No Comment Astrology and meInner life

The building up for this full Moon is being very intense.

It amazes me to see how the changes that we go through reverberates in many stages, like cycles within cycles (in a spiral motion rather than just circles I think), and the beauty of it being reflected in the movement of the planets (“the wanderers”) in the sky.

This full Moon on 9th of July will be happening at 17 degrees Capricorn, making a pretty close conjunction to retrograde Pluto, and activating the long term transit to my Natal Moon at 15 degrees Libra.

I feel it already. A lot of emotional stuff coming up.

I do my best to watch them.

But in this process I am also observing the rhythms in the sky and its unique dance…

I am about to go to the same Buddhist festival I went last year when Pluto was making one of the exact squares to my Moon…feeling heavy though…

I hope you are all being mindful and keeping your centre during this intense lunation.

A sense of calling..

by with No Comment Inner lifeProfessional Astrologer

I just felt the need to come here and write for a bit.

Is already 12:31 AM and Im having trouble sleeping.

Im not sure exactly what is going on but I definitely feel charged with an extra amount of energy which I need dispelling..

Today was sort of a day off that I have given myself (even though I have worked a little on my blog) but now I am rolling in bed from one side to another having astrological ideas and mini insights.

I am currently reading James Hillman’s “The soul’s code – In search of character and calling” and can’t stop thinking about the idea of having a “daimon”. The author is basically defending the hypotheses that we are all born with an intrinsic call, a soul or spirit guidance, to become something.

He calls this “the acorn theory”, “which proposes that each life is formed by a particular image, an image that is the essence of that life and calls it to a destiny, just as the mighty oak’s destiny is written in the tiny acorn”.

I am thinking about that in relation to astrology, in one sense about how astrology can be helpful in finding the thread of our “destiny” (what we were born to be according to the archetypes in our charts), but also in the context of my life and my own calling.

Yesterday’s talk was truly refreshing and inspiring.

It felt like I belonged there in that place of sharing insight/knowledge/stories. It was like actualising something strong and deeper, something somehow bigger than just a desire to be a teacher.

Im not sure if I can convey in words that certainty, that feeling of somehow being back home and revelling in my element.

It felt great though.

Now, at this peculiar “insomnian” sleepless moment to me, I can’t help but have ideas for the next talk that I want to do….!

Subpersonalities and Astrology

by with 3 Comments Astrology and meInner life

I have been truly busy.

I guess that’s no news since my last post (or maybe the one just before the last?)

I remember talking about how much I’m actually enjoying the energy that the entrance of my progressed Moon into Capricorn is reflecting at this moment in time.

Focus, grounding, practicality and the enjoyment of doing what needs to be done.

But everything has two sides, and yesterday I just realised how much I’ve been under the grips of my animus. The masculine in me has been repressing and beating my feminine up big time.

The realisation came after a heated argument with my boyfriend about statistics and astrology that went wrong.

Why was I so strongly attached in defending my point of view like that?

After crying a little and consequently allowing the feminine energy to flow back through me it was clear that the man inside me was just becoming a bit of a tyrant..

And going back to the magical ways that astrology works… right when my boyfriend left, a bit pissed off, I straight away went back to working on the 3 months forecast that I was writing to one of my clients before he arrived.

As Im back to the writings, feeling still quite angry myself, I realised that I was speaking about the Moon activating my client’s natal Chiron in Gemini opposing Mars in Sagittarius when my visitor interrupted me..

I have Chiron in Gemini making an opposition to Mars (conjunct Uranus) in Sagittarius myself and I knew that this configuration, which is the symbolic representation of my animus as well, was being activated at that very moment with the recent argument..

Not only that.

I then became aware that this configuration was somehow overtaking me in the last few days and I wasn’t sure what was going on, why I wasn’t feeling quite right, until that moment..

And now Im also reading a lecture by Howard Saportas on Subpersonalities and psychological conflict.

So interesting!

Seeing each different configuration in the astrological chart as one of your subpersonalities fighting for attention or sometimes possessing you..

Timed by transits and progressions, or perhaps activated by the influence of another person’s presence (which you can see with the synastry), these are the moments that you have the opportunity to reintegrate them and move further ahead on your individuation process.

So today, to bring balance, Im making a point on embracing my feminine energy again.