An Astrologer’s wishes for 2019

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

The heat in Brazil is so strong that for most of the day I cannot do much. Sometimes it feels like my brain is melting.

For the last five or six years I consciously went through a Pluto transit to my natal Moon and this is the first time that I came back since. Everything looks and feels strange and familiar at the same time.

That strange familiar feeling of not belonging strongly remains.

I miss my home in England.

I am enjoying some things here, but after couple of weeks its clear to me that many of the structures, customs, opinions, ideas, ideals, cultural identity… have all changed to me? Sao Paulo somehow feels largely small?

Since 2012 I went through multiple transits, I’ve had my first Saturn return and transits from all 3 outer planets to my personal planets. I’ve been dissolved, dismembered and initiated into adulthood. Much pain and suffering was met on the way, but looking at myself in the mirror I can see that it was worth it.

I believe that if we don’t adapt to the seasons we can’t make the most of it. The idea of intermittent happiness to be pursued in life is a fallacy. But being stuck in a loop of sadness for too long can also be damaging.

Nature and its cycles have much to teach us. Accepting and taking action that is aligned with our personal cycle is one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learnt in the last 5 years. (Not that it was easy or that I have ceased to struggle with it. But I feel incredibly aware of it now.) Even if the action is by not taking any action. (something that can also be very challenging in a society that emphasises doing and achievement so strongly!)

So in this New Year Eve, close to a New Moon in Capricorn, my wish is that we can all learn how to be deeply rooted in ourselves, how to feel, trust, and follow the natural wisdom of our cycles, and, in this way, develop more authenticity in a mature and solid manner.

Then, and only then (I feel), we are going to be able to, genuinely, have a positive impact in our society, planet, cosmos, universe… whatever needed.

Happy new year!

 

Transit after transit…

by with 2 Comments Astrology and meInner life

Mercury is retrograde at 13 degrees Sagittarius, very close to make a conjunction to my natal Uranus/Mars in the first house and a lot of the current theme for me has been connected with personal freedom and individuation.

I believe that Jupiter in the early degrees of Sagittarius is also echoing this message.

During this last period of Venus moving retrograde I have been questioning and feeling a strong urge to find more space within my relationship. (with the times when Venus opposed Uranus as a peak of realisation about this need)

Now what is strongly coming up to me is not only the need for personal freedom, but also lots of questions about our conditioning when it comes to relating with one another.

Last week we had a training course on life coaching and the group of people that came here for the training were amazing. I connected with many of them in such a beautiful way. The dynamic between the group reminded me of one of those conscious summer festivals that I used to go when Pluto was transiting my natal Moon.

It felt like home!

In the last night we did an angel walk together (basically walking in a corridor of people whispering beautiful messages into your ears) and had a very long group cuddle for at least an hour. My heart was so open and the love I felt was so strong that it felt like being high on drugs.

I was in such a powerful and beautiful state that even saying no and asserting myself became easy and loving as well. I felt empowered.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about the general conditioning of being supposed to love only one person, or being protective and caring only towards family members, etc. Why is that? Why can we not allow love to flow and increase itself by giving it freely?

Why are we not allowing love to ebb and flow organically?

I have read once that love is the only thing that does not work mathematically in the way we know, the more you give the more you have to give. You never run out of it. (talking about unconditional love here)

Then I thought that if my personal experience of transiting Pluto to my Moon is connected with my role in the collective change that we are going through, my new sense of security within is what will enable me to love more and to help breaking old patterns that do not foster growth in positive ways.

I would really like to find new ways of relating, with more authenticity and the willingness to be vulnerable and communicate openly.

Obscure times…

by with 9 Comments Astrology and meInner life

I am sat at my table with everything ready to start writing my first essay for the university, but instead of doing that, Im catching myself trying to understand what is going on in the world.

I am wondering what is prompting us to give rise, and our votes, to the far right and what it seems like a speech, and ideology, against minority, diversity and the environment? Obviously not all of us are doing this, but it seems like the majority of us are, otherwise people like Donald Trump and Bolsonaro would not have been elected president in their respective countries.

I feel overwhelmed with the amount of arguments between people in the social media and with the bigger picture of what is happening.

Astrologically speaking, I am wondering what does the conjunction between Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn in couple of years time will be reflecting. Pluto/Saturn in Capricorn does feel like the consequences of the abuse of power, death and destruction, could become more clear. What will happen to the environment after years of exploitation? Are we heading towards our own destruction?

Full Moon and relationship challenges

by with 5 Comments Astrology and meInner life

Digesting and integrating the energies that have been released during the last full Moon in the early degrees of Aries couple of days ago.

I think that with the energy of the T square (between Venus in Scorpio, Uranus in Taurus and Mars in Aquarius) that happened for a few days around the 10th of September, plus Venus in its shadow period to enter retrograde motion on the 5th of October, our values in relationships are somehow under the spotlight.

The axis of Aries and Libra also reflect the process of relating, “who am I when Im alone versus who am I when Im with someone else”, and these last few weeks have been quite interesting regarding boundaries and voicing up needs in my relationship.

September has been a charged month and issues of co-dependency/dependency, unhealthy expectations, individualism, etc, were in the forefront. The whole myriad of emotions and the resulting crisis (Im a Scorpio rising!) seems to, hopefully, be pointing out to a journey towards more authenticity in relationships by not only taking responsibility for some of my projections, but also, through exploring what my true values are at the moment.

The full Moon was conjunct Chiron in Aries and when it was just about to hit its peak I was very much in touch with a fundamentally wounded part of myself. It was very clear and strong the sensation in my body.

Aries is ruled by Mars, the same Mars that was the apex in the earlier T square I mentioned here. The apex has a very important role in the potential resolution for the conflict that the opposition reflects.

Mars is currently in Aquarius which is traditionally ruled by Saturn, and Saturn, currently in Capricorn, was also the apex in this full Moon in Aries. (The Moon in Aries and the Sun in Libra were both forming an almost exact square to Saturn)

It seems to me that both these planets (archetypal energies) have an important message for the resolution of whatever has been brought up in the last few weeks. Perhaps making sure that we are taking extra responsibility for ourselves (Saturn in Capricorn), and expressing what we want in a cool, rational and detached fashion (Mars in Aquarius) could be of great aid now.

By making a commitment (Saturn in Capricorn) we allow more freedom to come in our relationships (Mars in Aquarius).

I wanted to write a post about the energies of Venus/Uranus/Mars before but didn’t get my head around it.

It’s been quite busy for me lately as I’ve been accepted to study a MA in Cultural Astronomy and Astrology at the Trinity Saint David University. Im very excited and have had a few inductions about the course and etc already. I will be going there this Friday to meet some of the tutors and find out a bit more about the course’s structure.

This feels like the Saturn in Capricorn stuff that I should be getting on with!

Saturnian sobriety.

by with 9 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeProfessional Astrologer

I am currently reading Liz Greene’s seminar entitled “The Astrologer, the Counsellor and the Priest” and, as Saturn stations to go direct in the early degrees of Capricorn, I feel very introspective and naturally reviewing my connection with astrology.

In this seminar, Liz Greene is presenting a few different archetypes and mythic themes that might be unconsciously played out by the astrologer (as well as the client), for example the solar deity Apollo and the idea of expanding consciousness and promoting individuality, or Chiron, the wounded healer, that needs to share his wounds with others so he doesn’t feel so alone.

I am simplifying things here for obvious reasons and I couldn’t recommend this book enough for the ones that consider themselves, or aspire to become, professional astrologers.

As much as I would like to support as many different views and ideas as possible, or at least respect every person’s ideas and views, I struggle a bit when it comes to astrology.

When I read the myriad of astrological updates online I usually get the impression that most people that write them down don’t seem to consider their own lens and how much it impacts the interpretation of the symbols. ( I tend to think that a lot of those are but a reflection of their inner life?)

I have a funny feeling when I read things like an astrological configuration of some kind has helped something to happen. Or that the moon moving into a new constellations should make you feel in a certain way. Or a planet moving forward again might cause specific symptoms in your life.

For some reason this kind of immediate interpretation unsettles me.

I somehow feel like I have left a phase of infatuation with astrology behind. I don’t necessarily want to talk about it all the time with just anyone like I used to in the beginning of my studies.

I am still an enthusiastic of the complex intricacies of what astrology reflects, but for some reason I now find tiring to preach about it to the general public.

Interestingly, this seems to be synchronistically reflected by Saturn moving forward again and harmoniously activating my Mercury.  I feel that my view of astrology is somehow becoming a bit more sober. I don’t think that astrology can change the world, and I don’t desperately ask people’s star signs or time of birth anymore. Neither I try defining Astrology as a science when a skeptical crosses my path.

I am somehow accepting the mysteries more willingly, and looking within before rushing into revealing the secrets of another’s soul in what perhaps could potentially be an unconscious attempt to validate myself and choice of interest.

Have you ever thought about what made you choose to pursue your career path? Have you also gone through a process of change in how you relate with the subject that you dedicate yourself to? Im sure the answer is yes.

Any astrologers out there that would like to share their perspective on it?

 

Saturn stabilising energy

by with 4 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeProfessional Astrologer

I have been meaning to come back here for quite a while but just didn’t manage.

In the last month I’ve developed a taste for the magazine “Womankind” (amazingly beautiful and ad free, full of really interesting articles and interviews), continued reading books and worked on developing my new routine in the community Im living and working since February this year.

Since Pluto has made the last square to my natal Moon things seem to have settled within and without.

My boyfriend also got a job as a cook and has moved here with me since around March. We’ve met in July 2016, when Pluto was making the third or forth square to my Moon, and we have been developing what for me is the most authentic, challenging and rewarding partnership that I’ve ever had.

Since Pluto moved from the 2nd to the 3rd house in my chart issues connected with money and self sufficiency are slowly fading. I feel secure and quite solid materially speaking, which is a very different place to be compared to the last 6 years of insecurity and little money to spend.

I can buy things now. I can also invest money in education or travels if I wish to do so. (Jupiter is placed in the second house in my horoscope, can you tell?)

It is very interesting to observe how feelings and themes are constantly shifting in a synchronous dance with the cosmos.

Going from these long lasting years of emotional breakdown and a tragic, and intense, feeling of insecurity and death to regained confidence and solidity.

From transiting Pluto square natal Moon to transiting Saturn trine natal Mercury and Sun (with Uranus heading towards a trine to those natal planets as well).

I feel strong and capable. I also see recognition being bestowed upon myself in the community and at work. Me and my boyfriend have been offered a little wonderful house in the grounds where we work. We are finally going to have the chance to live on our own within the community.

And the house is amazing, with beautiful big windows facing the forest.

We move in less than a month.

Life has a funny way of developing if we dare allowing it enough space to do so.

Now in the last few days I’ve been contemplating applying for a master in cultural astronomy and astrology. I somehow feel that this could be a wonderful way of expressing these supportive and earthy transits that I am going through.

At my job I also have the opportunity for writing projects for training courses and I feel that this master course will perhaps be giving me much needed food for thought and inspiration.

I had my eye on this master degree for a while but was put off by my lack of stability and material security. How can I concentrate and write essays when Im not sure if I can pay the rent in the end of the month?

 

 

Pluto as a family share…

by with 9 Comments Astrology and meInner life

My mother’s chart ruler is Mercury conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 12th house.

When I think of this configuration I sense a split. Leo’s fiery energy somehow drowning in the contents of the 12th house, the most elusive of all.

The need to shine its uniqueness lost in union.

It feels like the sense of self is achieved only through, somehow, the transcendence of it.

Leo behind the scenes?

I am currently reading Lynn Bell’s book about planetary threads and family patterns and   it is blowing me away.

The idea that each and every family has a certain myth (or perhaps a number of them), and that we are all playing it out again and again, really fascinates me.

Im thinking of Pluto again. Pluto and my family.

I have Pluto at 0 degrees in the 12th house. My brother has a t-square involving Pluto. Both my grandparents, from my mother’s side, have Pluto at 0 degrees.

And my mother with her Mercury conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 12th.

So many times I felt like I was touching on very deep seated stuff. Stuff that goes beyond my personal, conscious life.

We inherit so much more than just our parents looks!

Lynn Bell talks about the possibility of being fated to (consciously or unconsciously) heal wounds from many generations before.

During this Pluto transit to my Moon I became aware, through my own body, of so many of my mother’s fears .

I could write more on the subject, but for now my split between self-expression and privacy is somehow speaking louder. It’s also a bit late now.

Perhaps another time…

Short note on Pluto and the 3rd house

by with No Comment Astrology and meInner life

Its been 3 months since I moved to this community in the Forest of Dean.

The Square from transiting Pluto to my natal Moon is slowly waning. But I still find difficult to translate into words all the colours and levels of transformation that I have been through in these last few years.

 

The whole urgency connected with survival and financial struggle has gone for now, and I find myself in a place of abundance (within and without!). Pluto has moved from the 2nd house into the 3rd in my astrological chart and my values seem to be a lot clearer and more solid.

But what Im finding interesting is that the flow of communication, specially the written word, seems to be a little constipated for now. I know how much I enjoy writing, and how many journals I’ve completed in the last few years, but lately it seems like Im not present enough to write anything new.

Im somehow lost in my thoughts for now.

Has any of you had Pluto transiting the 3rd house? How did that feel?

Reviewing rebirth

by with 3 Comments Astrology and meInner lifeProfessional Astrologer

Mercury is about to go retrograde in Aries tomorrow.

Spring has also arrived and Im allowing myself to take a break to review the (constant) changes happening in my life.

With the majority of planets in mutable signs in my chart, Im doing one of the things I do best, Im adapting.

My daily routine is already pretty organised, with meditation in the morning and yoga in the evenings, and my work as a chef in between.

I feel that feeding people does bring me some joy and contentment, perhaps the Moon in the 11th house could be related to that. But I still have my sense of call strongly connected with astrology work.

In the midst of changes, (moving houses and cities, getting a full time job after a long time working either part time or for myself only), I felt the urge to focus on my daily routines and spiritual practice to keep myself balanced (or perhaps not to loose my mind…).

I have managed well I think. But was wondering how long would I last working on something that isn’t my true passion.

Then, last Saturday Buddhafield festival in the city was on, and I went to read tarot, but it turned out that I had my laptop on me and Wifi available, so I could also offer astrology readings to people.

It went amazingly well and I was fully booked pretty much the whole time I was there.

Having half an hour slots turned out to be a stimulating and interesting challenge to me, for I still prefer offering an opportunity for depth and empowerment rather than a brief list of ego praising characteristics.

New ideas came up, skills and things, and as a result, a review on what I can offer to my clients.

I also see (again and again) how much my process of growth is tied together with how effective my work can be, there is no separation here.

This is a great reminder to let go and trust. To stop comparing myself to others. To realise (again and again, again) that we are all unique and so is our path.

No rules or racing, for success is to be peaceful, healthily centred and content.

I have been contacted by two different people yesterday offering me work, one of which is a talk about Tarot, Astrology and Archetypes (excitement) and the other a potential opportunity for writing to a new astrology website.

Mercury’s retrogradation in Aries is perhaps reflecting an opportunity for rethinking strategies and plans of action, let’s make the most of it.

Splits in the psyche

by with No Comment Astrology and meInner lifeSearch for home

Im almost all settled down in my new home in the Forest of Dean.

It’s interesting to see that, albeit somewhat painful, the process of moving really keep us in check with how much we have accumulated in our lives.

I don’t mean only material stuff but also stories and feelings…

Every time I move (and I have been moving quite a lot, compared to my childhood, in the last 10 years) I always make that a ritual for getting in touch with my deeper self.

The unchanging self that keeps me going.

I do that through reading passages of my (many) journals while I put them in a box to take with me.

Even though the rational-analytical in me is very strong, I can also sense a powerful emotional undercurrent happening in the process.

With many of my personal planets in Mutable signs I see changes as an important and necessary part of life. But in a strange way they also trigger a feeling of getting closer to death.

I can see my Ascendant in Scorpio playing its part in how I initiate things.

Death and grief are mixed up with the joy and excitement that guided me in making the decision to change in first place…

Mutable signs versus fixed signs in the astrological chart can reflect one of the potential splits in our psyche.

And Im writing this post in an attempt to give voice and integrate these two distinct sides in me.